Should i take the kids to visit their Dad in prison?

Question

my partner recently went to prison, he wants me to bring the kids (age 4 and 9 weeks) to see him. i think he will resent me if i dont take them but i feel its not an environment they need to see, its confussing enough that daddy left. what should i do???

Answer 1

I have some experience with this. Although I have not been directly in this situation I know Several people who have. When I say several, I am not joking. Now before you think I am part of the criminal culture, I am not.

From my experience no further damage comes from allowing your kids to see their father, even if it is in prison. I know several youth who got this chance and they are thankful for it. However, there are several risk factors for youth who have fathers in prison (but it has nothing to do with them seeing him). Let your kids see their father for now. When they are old enough to decide for themself then let them have that choice. Do it for the kids. Weigh the pros and cons. From what I have seen from experience there are more cons keeping the kids away. This is going to be a part of their life so you might as well find a way to make it is as positive as possible.

Answer 2

If these children know that Dad is in prison then it might actually make it easier on the kids to see him. Then they know he is all right because in their minds they think prison is like in the movies or something. At the prison they will see enough to make the place look forbidding but you can prepare them for that -they do it on purpose I think. But once they see thier Dad is fine and still the same person they will relax some about him being gone. This gives those boys a clear idea of exactly where Dad is because he did something he shouldnt have. Not to make Dad out to a bad guy because he may not be but to simply tell the truth. Writing letters to Dad is good practice for school and a way of them keeping up with each other.

Answer 3

First of all I would ask the 4 yrs old, do they want to see daddy in prison and explain to them what prison is. Prison can be a scary place and this can be traumatizing for the child. So before I would subject them to this, I would talk with them first.

But otherwise I feel children need to know where their father is and perhaps learn some sort of lesson from this.

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Answer 4

jObii, PLEASE follow your instincts right now i now he might feel a certain way but the kids should come first to him as well.I would not take the kids to such a place, is that how he wants his children to truly see there father behind bars.Kids are very smart and they will also ask questions are you ready to give truthful answers I know this must be hard for you but continue to put your children first it is not the kids or your fault why he is in there he needs to deal with those issues on his own.Right now he needs to figure out what different path he is going to take when he gets out so that he wont end up in there again unless that's the kind of role model he wants to be to the kids.I dint mean to be harsh but make wise decisions for your children's life's.Good luck.

Answer 5

I personally think they are to young to be exposed to that kinda enviornment, particularly the 4 year old, but its there father, and i think you should make some type of attempt to let him see his kids. Its your call in the end, and perhaps you should discuss it with your husband as well, but I would say no.

Answer 6

Absolutely! Children need to know who their father is regardless of who he is! This is a vital part of their identity.

Answer 7

wow. um..
Prison is a scary place but... it's their dad you know?
they're visiting daddy.

Answer 8

I dont think so.You can show their pictures to him.