Should I tell my parents?

Question

I am transgendered but I do not know if I should tell my parents. I came out to them as a lesbian last summer, but that was not quite correct, in that while I primarily like women, I think of myself as a male. I did not think that they could handle me telling them both parts at the same time.

Now I wonder if I should let them know so that they will understand more about me, and maybe even start calling my by my male name and using male pronouns. But at the same time I think they would not understand me at all, and that they would think I am too young or not even care about it.

So should I let them know, or should I wait a few years? I don't want to tell them too early, but I also don't want to surprise them with a mustache. And if I should tell them, how should I? I really bombed it when I last came out.

It seems a little clarification is in order.

Intersexed people (formerly called hermaphrodites) are those who have been born with both male and female organs.

Transgendered people are those who feel as though they were not born the proper gender.

Transsexual people are those who have undergone (or plan to) some sort of physical modification regarding their gender.

I was born female, and still have all my original bits, but I am a male. I hope that helps.

Answer 1

yes i think it would be important to tell them that you have transgendered feelings. it is important that you also seek a good gender therapist that can help you decide exactly how far you want to take things. if you really do feel the need to transition and present yourself to the world as a boy/man, then they will get you into this path.. your parents should know the truth and hopefully they will be loving, supportive, and helpful.

i recently accepted my transgenderism and bisexuality.. and although admitting to others that i am bisexual may seem like a big deal, it's nothing compared to transgenerism. that is a major issue that i am going thru and i already have the love and support of many family and friends..

you gotta find your true self before you can seriously seek romance from others.. but you don't have to go thru this transition journey alone.. i'd talk to them before you seriously start presenting with a moutache..

Answer 2

WTF? At answer above. Trangendered DOES NOT MEAN MALE AND FEMALE PARTS. Crikey.. who are these people.
Firstly, to any one who doesnt know, transgender is an UMBRELLA term that can (but doesn't have to include, FTM, genderqueer, pre-op non-op FTM's, MTF's, Non-gendered, Third Gendered, and a multiple of other different combinations of differently sexed and gender variant people). Transgender, can also include (but also doesnt have to) transexual people.
Transgendered means to move from one gender to another and some people do this all the time. Also transgendered can encompass people who know that there are more than two genders and more than two sexes.

Right, now after the extremely condensed lesson, to answer the question.

Firstly, as I have recommended to friends of mine in the past, make sure you are in a safe place personally before you come out as transgendered. Then, if you are in a safe place, perhaps rent a film that has a strong and healthy example of what it is like to be a transgendered person. After this, if your parents reaction is negative or if they do not understand, pile yourself up with loads of information, support, resources and leaflets that you can discuss with your parents.

There is a second on the PFLAG site about support for transpeople: (this could mean for transexual people or for transgendered people)
http://www.pflag.org/Support_for_Transpeople.1082.0.html

Transgender Network (TNET) includes contacts and regional coordinators for all of our chapters around the country. Their primary mission has been to educate our members and allies about transgender issues – a subject foreign to many, including those parents and significant others surprised by the coming out of a loved one as transgender.

This is a good place to start. But there are also many other sites:

http://kpscapes.tripod.com/resources.html

http://www.angelfire.com/planet/genderschmender/index.html

http://dmoz.org/Society/Transgendered/Genderqueer/

Answer 3

Few people do understand transpeople, so no matter what age you come out I doubt they'll really completely understand. If you want to be closer to them, I'd suggest coming out.

Answer 4

OK dude lets get this straight Ur a woman with a penis?? wow!! that's weird. how did that happen. Wat is wrong with people l these days.omg com on dude dint b like this all we need rite now is a woman with a penis. you should tell Ur parents they to take u to counseling seriously.this is not a joke.by making this change it well be betterment for mankind and i know Wat i am talking about cuz this dude named Paul in Kansas has an almost same problem as you he is a guy and complains his penis is Way too small, but that's besides the point

Answer 5

send them little hints, if they dont take them very well then wait a year or two, and if they take the hints just fine, then tell them :D

Answer 6

Transgender means you have male AND female parts. That's
something they would have noticed by now I'd think. Like breasts and a penis, a penis and a vagina, etc.
Confusion about sexuality is a different thing.

Answer 7

are you transgendered through an operation or you're born transgendered?

Answer 8

tell them