My sister and I are in high school. She is a sophomore and I am a senior. I tend to get along with everybody at school and can befriend any body I feel like talking too. My sister on the other hand has a really rough time making friends. She has no problem talking to people, but when it comes to actually making friends, she's hopeless. People come to me and tell me how we are exactly the same, but they like me more. My sister is exactly like me, except for some reason, less personable and less likeable. It's almost like she hasn't developed her own personality, is it possible? Or is this some weird twist on a social anxiety disorder?
2007-02-24 15:56:44 · 6 answers · asked by jacee 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
maybe she is shy
2007-02-24 16:03:48 · answer #1 · answered by Mopar Muscle Gal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do not make the mistake that many people make and assume that "normal" is what you are, and "abnormal" is what everyone who is different from you is.,
If she has no problem talking to people, than it doesn't sound like she has any form of social anxiety disorder whatsoever.
It could be that she doesn't like small talk much, and thus doesn't negotiate those in-between stages to friendship well. However, if that is the case, when she finds other people who hate small talk as much as she does, she'll get along swimmingly and be much happier.
It could be that she has higherh criteria for what constitutes friendship than you do. Many people around me consider anyone that they see on a social basis once in a while who know their names and happen to be relatively "cool" friends. I do not work that way. Friendship to me is something much more tangible. Friendships for me require the ability to absolutely trust, the sure and certain knowledge that they wouldn't sell you out for more social capital with the cool people, the ability to talk about important and interesting subjects. I can't stand conversations that natter on about who's going out with whom and why this is bad or good and who is cheating on whom etc...I like to talk about current events, news, politics, religion, philosophy, whatever strikes my interest, books, etc..., friends also should be able to count on each other and be there for each other in times of extreme trouble and difficulty. Friends know each other very deeply, and I would rather have two or three close friends than six hundred first name basis but little else so called friends.
It could be that she is an introvert who requires more time alone than you do.
Just because she may not have the hordes of friends you do, do not assume that she doesn't have her own personality (you have given no other indiciation that this could be a possibility, unless she imitates everything you do, say, wear, I doubt that this is the case).
I don't want to sound condemning of you with this message, and a probably do to some extent, I just want to emphasize that she is probably simply a different person than you are, with different goals and aims, but no better or worse than you.
I would highly recommend reading, "Please Understand Me" by Kiersey and Bates. You both might learn to understand each other's goals, aims, and outlooks much better.
2007-02-25 00:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by peacedevi 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it is an anxiety disorder since you say she is happy to talk to people. Maybe she doesn't make as many friends because she doesn't feel like she need hoards to be a whole person. Maybe she just needs a couple of close friends. Not all people like large groups. Maybe your sister has a group of friends that don't travel in the same circles as you. She may not actually like all the "rate my perfection by the amount of friends I have"people.
2007-02-25 00:04:16 · answer #3 · answered by shes_apples 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I shouldn't think she has a social phobia or anything similar, as you say she has no problem talking to people. Some people just ooze charisma and charm, and perhaps you've been richly blessed with these characteristics whereas your sister lacks them. It doesn't mean she doesn't have a personality, it just means hers isn't as people-orientated as yours is.
2007-02-25 00:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by tinania-elfireb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a lot like me! I'm sure that over time she will meet someone that she likes and becomes friends with.
2007-02-25 00:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is two years younger than you and needs to find her own way. Give her some space....it sounds like you're hovering over her too much.
2007-02-25 00:05:25 · answer #6 · answered by superbird 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋