Next month my child & I are moving in with my parents hours away from my husband. He's the one that wants this so we can save money & since we don't see each other much b/c of our work schedules. He says he doesn't want me & our child to always be by ourselves while he's working. I told him I don't mind. He says it's not a separation like I'm thinking but it feels like the end of us. He says later on(doesn't know when) that we can move back. He said this will help us save for a house & another child. I don't think my family is too happy about this. If he does ask us to move back later on what our some of your opinions? I feel like my family would be upset w/me if I did. I love my husband & this is really sad for me. I don't know if this is all just an excuse from him or what. How long am I supposed to wait? We've been married 7 yrs(since I was 18). He's the only man I've ever been w/& the only one I've ever loved. This is a hard thing to go through.
2007-02-24 15:03:32 · 9 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello-
I totally hear what you are saying. Work schedules are just an excuse, have you tried marriage counseling.
Sometime when you marry young the trials of marriage & family & finances can be too much and in todays society divorce or seperation seems like an easy out.
I can only imagine how sad and lonely you must feel. But remember that if your family is supportative and has the space you should all be together, maybe you can all be together. Maybe he really doesnt want to be married any longer but he should be straightforward. Be strong - have a plan outlined written down - how long will it take to save for a house.
I was separated from my husband for 6months & lived w/ my sister & her family w/ my 2 childrens. We got thru it with catholic counseling and a program called Retroville.
Everyone circumstances are differnent , but if there is a lot of arguing & conflict it is not good for the kids. Stability and and routine i believe is good on raising children. What is best for you? What goals do you have? Where to you want to be in a year. Map it out. for yourself , your husband & your family. Your spouse & you need to do that togther. Make a budget maybe that will help uprooting the children are hard unless there is no choice.
good luck & God Bless.
2007-02-24 15:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by annab 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hope he means what he's saying. Maybe he's telling the truth and he really wants to save money to better your lives. Maybe he wants to see what it's like alone. How old is he? Maybe he feels like he missed out on the age when he could have "sowed his wild oats". You need to tell him how you feel. Tell him you don't want to do this, that you guys can work something out where you can still live together and save money. It's doable, and if you two want to stay married, it's what you have to do.
2007-02-24 23:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by meh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is his job taking him away? Why can't you live together.
I'm a military spouse, I know what a separation/deployment is like. I would never willingly separate myself from my husband. Wherever he goes to live, if I can go with him, I will go. In our (almost) two year marriage, we have only been able to be together for about 10 months of it. I just wouldn't do well with an unnecessary separation.
2007-02-24 23:09:00 · answer #3 · answered by avioletsky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, I think this is kind of unreasonable, but do you trust him? Maybe he really wants to save for a house and thinks this is the only way. Can you guys rent an apartment for a while?
2007-02-24 23:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do this as he asks of you! Then in a couple of days go back ---act like you forgot something and show up when you know he'll be home....see if he's hiding something from you or is cheating on you! (showing up like that will let you know)....Which for your sake and so on I really hope he's not!
OR----------------------
Tell him NO you are NOT going anywhere. You married and made vows for better or for worse and you are going to stick by his side AT HOME with him!....
But either way it's ur choice!
2007-02-24 23:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by So you think you know me!? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband wants you far away while he plays. What is wrong with you, why the hell are you believing this crap he is feeding you? You sound extremely immature, and not ready for a relationship, let alone kids, marriage. If you have been with him seven years, and you have to go online to figure him out, honey, you have more problems than just this guy. You need to wake up right now! He doesn't want you, he doesn't want the kid, and he doesn't want to have anymore of them kids with you! Why would you love someone that is making it clear, that they have no feelings for you or that child? Good luck, honey, you are gettin divorced real soon, he isn't going to pay you a single dime of child support, and you're gonna be out there clubbin' again, looking for someone to take care of you. And yeah, you are right, your family is going to be upset with you, they are now!
2007-02-24 23:18:26 · answer #6 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I wouldn't agree to that. You belong together throught thick and thin. Is he much older than you and pressuring you to do this? It's just not right.
2007-02-24 23:16:05 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It smells fishy to me. I wouldn't leave.
Good luck!
2007-02-24 23:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like hes cheating
2007-02-24 23:09:19 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋