My husband and I have been married for a year now. Eversince we've met he knows that I hate gambling and as a couple we have argued a lot of times about it. The thing is he promised me lot of times that he's not gonna gamble anymore and he still keeps doing it. He plays poker, he bets horse race and sports. He doesn't do it often but my point is he promised that he's gonna stop. We just argued about this two weeks ago and now he did it again today. He's working two jobs, one more reason why I'm mad is because I know he's tired and he doesn't have enough rest and he still affords to waste his time gambling than resting or spending time with me. I understand he needs a break but he's abusing his health. What should I do? I'm not talking to him right now. And I'm planning to give him a cold shoulder for as long as I could so he learns his lesson.
2007-02-24 15:02:18 · 13 answers · asked by dreamer2578 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This habit of his is going to cause problems for the rest of your married life until he realises that he has a problem and seeks help. Did he have this habit before you married him.....maybe you should have thought about your decision to this life long comittment knowing that is was going to cause problems before you tied the knot. I would suggest moving out and making him decide what he wants, you or the gambling.
2007-02-24 15:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by toymod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cold shoulders don't teach anyone anything except that you can't or won't communicate.
If you knew he had a gambling problem and you hate it, why did you marry him? What made you think he would change or that you could change him? He needs professional help with his gambling addiction and you should be involved as well to learn about it and how to deal with it. Casinos have numbers you can call if you think your loved one has a problem.
In the meantime, the cold shoulder will do nothing but frustrate you. It may have worked when you were four but these are grown up issues that need grown up solutions. Good luck.
2007-02-24 23:14:03 · answer #2 · answered by BrutalBaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's pretty damn juvinile. Is he taking food off the table? Is he blowing the kids college fund. A 5 dollar bet on a football game is okay once in a while.
Oh, the cold shoulder thing is childish and stupid. Grow up, talk to him and tell him it's okay to play poker once in a while. I'll be that ever since you met, you knew that he played cards too and that you tried to change him.
If he's not taking food off the table and he's working 2 jobs, give him some slack.
2007-02-24 23:08:28 · answer #3 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that as a wife you should talk to him calmly and find out the real point to why he does it.It could be an addiction,or something he does just for fun that makes him forget about his problems. You both should come to an agreement that you both will like. You need to start telling him about your own needs, which is for him to spend more time with you. Giving the cold shoulder will probably only make things worse.
2007-02-24 23:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gambling can be a very serious thing. Depending on how deep he is into it, he may not be telling you everything - like if he owes money. That could ruin a lot more than just his health - it could ruin your marriage the same as a drug addiction or adultery. I would strongly look into information on Gamblers Anonymous.
2007-02-24 23:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by foxxzymama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being unreasonable. If it was happening to me I certainly would give him the option of the gambling or me!
What is his greater love.
Maybe it's time for some tough love?
Maybe he needs help could you see someone at gamblers anonymous?
Has he some mates you could confide in about this maybe they could shed some light on this?
Hope this helps and good luck
2007-02-24 23:11:02 · answer #6 · answered by kawasakigpx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
giving him the cold shoulder isnt going to work grow up.the only thing thats gonna work is a divorce if his problem is that bad you wont ever have him the gambling always will.nor will you have anything else like a house or anything nice because it will always go for the gambling. most gamblers loose their homes their cars best to get out now
2007-02-24 23:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by lilloric 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take control of the household funds and cancel your credit cards. You can't control him but you can control the money and if he is that unreasonable about your emotional and financial security maybe you should have pre-qualified him before giving him the job of HUSBAND. Break it down to him what the job description is and either he does it or he's fired. Life is too short for BS. Protect your self.
2007-02-24 23:09:57 · answer #8 · answered by kyle g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shouldn't have married him since you knew he was a gambler and that you didn't like it. It's your own problem now, don't expect to change your spouse after you're married. You should have waited until he quit the habit and then married him. You aren't talking to him? You're giving him the cold shoulder? Sounds like you need to go back to kindergarten and pout.
2007-02-24 23:23:44 · answer #9 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rather than the cold shoulder, I'd communicate with him.
How much time (hours per week) is he out of the house doing "his" thing? Is the gambling hurting you financially? While he's out can you go do "your" thing?
2007-02-24 23:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by avioletsky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋