Not many friends :(?

Question

I don't have many friends due to depression nerves and a possible form of social phobia. As I find it nearly impossible to meet NEW people I cling on to the odd mate from school on people in the family who i no well. I got on well with one of my mates but in the last 4 months he has just not wanted to come out at all and I dont no what to do as this friendship means so much and I ring and say come out and there is always an excuse week in out. Please advise?

Answer 1

If u need friends, there many people here that would love to have a new friend. E-mail me at [e-mail]. If u really want someone to talk to. Just remember to tell me who u r. Lol. GL!

Answer 2

Dude, maybe he's just busy and you'll hook up soon.

I had similar problems and I decided to leave. Everything. I left and travelled to the other side of the world and started over. I moved into a house with people I didn't know, found a job and started my whole life over. I have a few friends now and things seem to be getting a lot better. I think my problem was that I was just stuck in a rut or something.

This option isn't for everyone but it worked for me. Basically what I'm saying is that a change of scenery may do you some good and starting over isn't always a bad option.

Having said that, friendship is something that you don't want to lose. I have a few friends from school that I hang on to as well. We have gone through one or two bad patches but in the end we are all still real close. Maybe give things some time to cool off. A good friend will always be there for you.

Answer 3

Hey naa. Well the only cure to social phobia is getting out and being social! Easier said then done, yes I know. I don't know what goes on inside your head that causes you to have fear, but know that it is very common. Its simply this: nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it. All ideas & thoughts are simply concepts; they don't exist in reality. Think about what you think about...our internal dialogue with ourselves has a tremendous impact on how we view ourselves.
First of all, you need to make more friends! Having just one friend is not going to do it...rid yourself of this dependancy.
You may know who you are, but remember this: other people have no clue who you are, which is a kool thing because it gives you the chance to paint a picture of who you are to others. Smile, be friendly, and be confident.
You could try using observing ego; iits like analyzing yourself from the outside. Your life is like a film & you are the main character.
Move your frame of reference inside; don't be like most people who have an external frame of reference. They're constantly looking around at the world & to others for cues about whether they are doing the right thing, thinking the right thoughts, wearing the right clothing, etc.
What I'm trying to say is simply this: build a powerful, capable, high status self image that you love. Get a clear picture of that person in your mind and become that person. It takes time...and you may say !@#$% it at times, but remember its a gradual process. Be persistant and it will pay off in the end. :)

Answer 4

I have depression and social phobia. I have gone through many periods of time where I have had ZERO friends. trust me, when you find people who can really be your friends the aquardness goes away quickly. you just need to wait for people who can see past certain personality aspects you may have. eventually they always show up, no matter how alone you feel.

Answer 5

A great way to make friends is to join some kind of group. If you're still in school, joining a club will really help you find people with similar interests as you.

Answer 6

Talk to strangers they make the best therapists, somene you meet at a bus stop or in a shop or at the library whoever, don't be scared we all want human contact at some time in our lives, whether its brief or long term it makes no difference. Start thinking positive not negative, every time you think negative say STOP. It will because you say it.

Answer 7

get treatment for the social phobia. professional help. i dont think that problems like social phobia solve themselves. its a downhill spiral.

and about your friend. seems like their avoiding you for whatever reson. try asking them out for a date that is two weeks away. theyll be free. and tell them to double check that they have no previous engagements. and then tell them to not book anything new. if they STILL avoid seeing you then theyre DEFINATELY attempting to get rid of you. i say leave it if they dont want to go out anymore. theres no point severing the friendship completely. just accept the change

good luck

Answer 8

I was in similar situation. I did my best to overcome anxiety for meeting new ppl. I talk to ppl that don't judge me and I have a few good friends now. You can visit ur friend to c if he's doing well. If he's not doing well, u have to ask him to find professional help. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

ok answer to you not having many new friends

try to get out more join a club play a sport get a job or a new one this will help to meet new people

Answer 10

thats sad. see im in school too and im a super sweet person. im a popular girl at school cuz im pretty but that doesn't mean you can't come meet me cuz i know there are some other pretty girls in school who thinks they're all that and just sticks to other popular girls. if i were at your school, i'd meet you. i hope you find a girl like me at your school.

just smile to the girls/guys at school. just greet them and maybe we can carry out a convo. i hang out with loners in school and popular kids too to make them feel better and i feel bad for them. i realize popular kids are bitches. no offense lol. although im one of them- i sem to be the only sweet and nice one that i realize because all my popular friends are like"amber, why are you talking to her?" and im thinking-that's sooo mean.


but im not here to brag. are you even in school or an adult? but to help you this is all i have.

Try greeting people- if they don't great you back, it's not worth being their friend. gotta go. would've explained it more but its late. good luck!!! love, amber