Am I a violent person?

Question

Today in the parking lot while shopping, a man banged his cart into my car. I said "hey, watch what you're doing" and he rushed to confront me face to face. Normally, I am not a violent person, but he placed his hand on me and shoved me, not hard, just being a tough guy. My keys are on a ring. I don't know why, but I punched him in the eye with the keys. I really beat the crap out of him. The cops came. There may be charges pressed against me, but none at this time. Never before have I had such a violent outburst. I hope that never happens again. I honestly have no idea what came over me, at the same time, I have no regrets for what I did. I was defending myself. I may have over reacted, but he was the one who made the initial threatening action and I just felt I had to defend myself at the time.
My wife thinks now that I've let the "genie out of the bottle" I may very well be prone to violent acts again. I truly hope not. How can I be sure this was a one time thing? Thanks.

Answer 1

Joey,

You were provoked. The other party had no business laying a finger on you, much less walk toward you. After reading your account I (and probably you), had no problem imagining YOU with all the injuries at the hospital had you not done what needed to be done.

If you're worried that you've released a super-violent animus that would have done well asleep, don't. You reacted within your rights and considering everything, restrained yourself quite remarkably.

Answer 2

I wouldn't say you are a violent person, but have you always been nice to people and have done what they told you to do with out confrontation? I would say that your outburst was merely built up anger that you have accumulated over your life and came out all at once in this incident. How do I know you might ask. Well, the same sought of thing happened to me 6 years ago and I can tell you it changed my personality on a large scale. In the future you will probably find that when met with confrontation you will not be afraid to oppose it and ask why you must subject to the demands being made onto you. If you wish to avoid violence in the future, try to avoid large confrontations that may end in violence. I don't mean however, to avoid confrontation all together as you must speak your mind and voice your opinion.

Answer 3

You didn't say what the cops attitude was on that. Yeah they probably were professional and didn't take any sides,but after they got finished with the reports and left,they probably let out a cheer for you. They have to deal with bullies like that rather often.
I would imagine if the fellow wants to press charges, you would have him for assalt. And again if you had showed weakness, he might have jumped you and really did some damage. You make me want to stand up and cheer you on. I don't think you are a violent person. You talk soft and carry a big stick.

Answer 4

First of all, good for you!! Maybe the creep will think twice before he is such a bully.

I wouldn't worry that you will fly off the handle and beat the crap out of another without reason. You may ,however, react the same if confronted with a similar situation. And if so, I'm glad.

Answer 5

One problem I have is you used a weapon. Somehow, your mind decided to use your keys as a weapon. Keys are a good weapon. They question is why did it go that far? Did you hit him and walk away or did someone have to get you off him. It may not have started out that way, but you quickly gained the upper hand. The cops didn't have enough to charge you. I'm going to assume there were witnesses and/or security video. Probably a DA will look over the evidence. Mustn't be too serious or you'd have been charged already. Did this person need medical attention?
Overall, I wouldn't worry about it unless you are twice his size and there's evidence to suggest you you started it, which appears you didn't.

Answer 6

i think u will b alot more MELLOW! as any pent up anger from the past were now vented.everything u had built up consciously or not throughout years have now been released which SHOULD feel like a great release! i had had violent behavior since i was 16. i had been kicked out of schools for fighting, juvenile hall, then jail, numerous anger mgt. classes and eventually prison. anger is what i KNOW WELL lol, im happy to say tho its been 4 years since ive been in any trouble and i am sweet as pie!

Answer 7

No, I don't believe you have anger problem. You stuck up for yourself, he attacked, and you responded in self preservation. Maybe you went a little over board, but who among us can say how we would react in the same situation. I personally think you were right, and maybe next time that guy will learn to respect others. If not...you were still right. Good luck. LOL

Answer 8

Do the cops see what you did as self defense? I hope so, because the other guy could press assault charges against you.

Your wife might have a point--you might be prone to violence more easily now. Could be a good idea to go to anger management, or some such place, before you get into real trouble.

Good luck.

Answer 9

No, you are not a violent person, but the incident was what it's called: the straw that broke the camel's back.
Maybe the other person took exception to the way you said...hey watch it. Next time you could say to the other person... if no prior apology is forthcoming: I'm sorry.
The other person could then consider it in any of two ways, that is a call for him to apologise or that you are sorry he bumped into you.
You will see, either will diffuse the situation.
If all else fails, remember wars have been started for less and life is too short to experience even one raised blood pressure.

Answer 10

Sounds to me like the guy had it coming... he was ready to pick a fight with you, and you let him have it - no crime there.

As for your wife, I think she's being a little neurotic. Perhaps she's not comfortable with this newly "discovered" side of you. If you guys are really troubled by this incident, I'd suggest some counseling - either individual or couples - to get you through this 'rough patch'.

I'm SURE that this isn't going to be a problem... but who knows? Maybe you can parlay it into a career as a bouncer or something!

;)

Good luck to you both.