My husbands mom is in a bad way in the hospital,with heart trouble in another state.We just found out yest.He always drinks on the weekend but treats me well.Tonight he said f u and I dont care what u do.He was drinking as in drunk.Is this cause of his mom and the underlying anger?Whats the best way to handle this?I lost two family members a yr apart and I never acted like this.He has lost his gramma only at 48.so is there more stuff to come?and no he wont quit the weekend drinking ,,,
2007-02-24 13:28:55 · 12 answers · asked by jessy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men have a hard time showing how they really feel . So most likely he is acting this way cause he is worried and upset . He doesn't mean to be this way . His mom is so important to him and he will lash out from time to time . Good Luck !
2007-02-24 14:21:19 · answer #1 · answered by Me777 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jess, sorry to hear all the bad stuff in your life. This goes on for millions of people, so you are not alone-----your husband has lost or never had the ability to cope with adversity---the alcohol is just having an adverse reaction--not really helping at all. If he wants to get real help coping, he should seek a professional to talk to. It will take a lot to convince him--might even be embarrassing for him, but he needs to do something. Drinking is not a solution and he knows it. It is a crutch and an attention grabbing ploy---he can't stand having the attention being directed away from him.---I mean the attention you give--he is afraid he might have to show a vulnerability---lack of manly ego, and he might be afraid of not having any control in this issue---maybe he feels he can handle everything else--why not this?? Men and women differ emotionally and that is a fact--it will take some real slick talking to get him to snap out of it. Good luck.
2007-02-24 21:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Yes, the thought of losing his mom could be why he reacted in anger with you and spoke to you this way. If possible try to talk to him when he is sober about this. While he is drinking just leave him alone, and do other things. Hopefully, things will not get worse, just show him that you are there for him to lean on. Good luck to you both.
2007-02-24 21:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by espee65 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't address this (preferably with a licensed professional) it will get worse. I am sorry to hear about all the problems you are faced with. Your husband has a lot of stress (and anger) because of his ailing mother. However, there is no excuse whatsoever for him to lash out at you. You are not the enemy and he should know he is not alone in this. Although he is going through alot, don't allow his actions to be justified by what his mother is going through. Because it isn't. I hope this helps somewhat. Am wishing you, your husband's mother, and your husband, the best.
2007-02-24 21:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by charmed4evr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has no reason to act that way.I know losing a loved one is hard but it isn't an excuse to be an a**.I have lost a lot of loved ones in my 34 years on this plant.And I have never acted out like he is.I have lost a child,brother,sister,all grandparents,all of my aunts,all of my uncles,nieces,nephew,And a Father in Law whom was more like a father to me than my own dad.And I never once acted out.It is disrespectful to their memory to do so.You need to put an end to his behavior now before it gets worse.My Dad used my Grandma Trudy's death has an excuse to start drinking harder.He already was a weekend drunk to start with.Once he was allowed to use her death has an excuse to get Sh*t faced once he never stopped using it to do so.It took him 30 years of living in a bottle before he stopped.You need to try to head your hubby off at the pass.Before you end up with someone like my Father.If he doesn't stop he needs to go.Life it to short to waste on a drunk that only cares about his bottle and not his family.
2007-02-24 21:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people have a hard time dealing with emotion.This sounds like a pretty hard situation for him.The best thing to do is try to help him as much as possible and if he get's "violent" when he's drinking still,avoid him.Try talking to him about it when he's not drunk.
2007-02-24 21:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by babyheavenly2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will only get worse he uses his mother as an excuse to drink. Take it from me I have been there..I AM there now! Only mine drinks everyday until drunk and passes out. They shout at you and call you names. You deserve better and so do I.
2007-02-24 21:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by Samantha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i feel this will only get worse. You both need marriage counseling and help to get through this hard time together and him drinking is not the answer at all. He needs AA too. Yes i feel he is angry and hurt over his mom. This is very hard on him. He needs counseling help and your support to get through this hard time.
2007-02-24 21:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's got a drinking problem. Some alcoholics don't drink or get drunk everyday. yes I think it could get worse. He's using the booze to self medicate.
2007-02-24 21:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why people stay with people who drink regularly is beyond me. It's a ticking time bomb. Yes, there's worse to come.
2007-02-24 21:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋