right now. My dad is an alcoholic and a composive gambler. He is retired and they have good sources of income from his pension as well as their social security, but he's a compulsive alcoholic and gambler. Just this month he had $14,000 deposited into his checking account, we don't know from where, but it's all gone now. Their house is paid off so he could be drawing money from their equity. their also have an IRA account with some $40,000 in in but it may not be that much there anymore. My mom's sick of this and wants out but she's afraid of everything. I'm afraid of taking her in because she's very negative and she drains me emotionally. I don't want her problem to hurt me and my marriage and children. She can't be taught how to live productively, I tried. What can I do LEGALLY as a child to help them without hurting myself in the process? BTW, they were abusive to me when I was young, my dad for being an irresponsible ****** and my mom for not knowing any better. Help me.
2007-02-24 13:22:54 · 11 answers · asked by mimi 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Your parents have to solve their own problems. Concentrate on your own life and be happy. Your responsibility is to your husband and children. If your mother truly wants a divorce she'll get one on her own. She's an adult, don't treat her as a child.
2007-02-24 13:34:28 · answer #1 · answered by Melius 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If these were my parents, I would be by my mother every step of the way and just be there for her because she was going through so much. You might want to see if she could live in a assisted living facility, these are better than nursing homes because you have more independence. For your father if you haven't already I would see about getting him to a Gamblers annoymous support group. For yourself, get support through you husband and the rest of your family and friends. You might want to look into getting a therapist if need be. Good Luck. God Bless.
2007-02-24 13:50:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a child, you were subjected to the chaotic lifestyle provided by your parents. As an adult with children, you have a responsibility to keep your children safe from the same chaos that made your youth traumatic. Your Mom deserves better...your Dad needs help. Is it your responsibility to become a Parent to them? Nope.....Pray for them..Help your mother as best you can...And hope that is enough. God Bless.
2007-02-24 13:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by 35 YEARS OF INTUITION 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to help your Mother...she's in chemo....her health is fragile...if you don't help her you may always regret it. She should file for divorce and freeze their assets. Your mother is a victim and needs some serious help...call a hot line in your area. Get your Mom her own place close to you...call in the troops..do you have brothers and sisters...other family ?? are your kids old enough to help with her. Your in a tough place and how you handle it will be a real test...good luck !!
2007-02-24 13:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by Frann 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do right now is focus on your own children,hun.You cannot 'fix' what is going on with your parents without ruining yourself emotionally and having nothing left as a mom.
Best wishes.
2007-02-24 13:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by MaryBeth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When I was 15 my step mother who loved but didn't like me was dieing from cancer.My father addicted to love, made it so I had to take every other day off from school so I could tend to my dieing step mom who was on morphine and hallucinating.He did this to find another wife and he did .She didn't want a man w/children so he dropped me and my sis and bro off at my older brothers doorstep.I was forced into the military and now I hate Myself. Moral of this story is dont think you have it bad and talk to your parents.Hopefully they will listen if not F them.Take care of yourself. love you if i could.
2007-02-24 13:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by Triplndy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing you can do is have a heart to heart talk with them when they are sober and quiet.
Otherwise, I would stay out of their business and avoid them. Take on other interests.
If it gets real bad, stay with a family member you trust.
2007-02-24 13:34:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to get away and stay away....you aren't your parents keeper. They are adults (no matter how they act). You need to
live your own life on your own terms. You don't owe your parents YOUR life. Take care of yourself, your husband and kids. Thats all you NEED to do. Don't let your parents drag you down with them. If you ignore the problem it will go away.
Good luck !!! [[[ ]]]
2007-02-24 13:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by Chrys 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It won't keep up much longer. Hang in there!
2007-02-24 14:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by rico3151 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you said you wanted to let go, I for one would not fault you.
2007-02-24 13:30:46 · answer #10 · answered by The man in the back 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋