My husband had an affair, it makes me wonder...?

Question

He admitted, during the time with the girl, she was pregnant, so he didnt use protection. I didnt know about this until 2 years after i forgive him, I dont know what to do after all the girl he had an affair was from the other side of the country and he doesnt know where she lives. Am i just opening wounds, by asking for a paternity dna test?

Answer 1

Once a cheater always a cheater. Get rid of him and the problems to come with his kid.

Answer 2

Are you kidding me? You would be crazy not to ask for a paternity test. You are not opening old wounds. This woman could show up at any time and start asking for child support. How can you get a paternity test when you don't know where she is? What brought this question on? How did you find out about the child in the first place?

Answer 3

So you think the child is his, even if he claims she was already pregnant or are you saying thinks it's his?

Whatever you decide, if you can't find her then it's a moot point. After finding her, there would be the legal battle of getting a DNA test, and possibly disrupting whatever life she has now (not that I'd be too concerned about that)...I would think you'd have to be able to prove in court though, that there's a reason to believe your husband may be the father...and if the woman isn't interested in pursuing that or holding him responsible then it may not matter legally anyway.

Answer 4

I think you should leave it alone. You are like you said, opening old wounds. If you forgave him and stayed with him, why would you want to start it up again? You should just let past and be glad that he doesn't know where she is. Right? And don't mention this to him, after all you don't want him to start thinking about it do you? You did a great thing by forgiving him and he did a great thing by telling you the truth. Close this chapter once and for all. And be happy with the decision that you made.

Answer 5

I think your husband knows so much more than what he is letting on too. I give you a lot of credit for forgiving him, but once trust is gone in a relationship it's hard to re-build it back to what it may have been prior to all of this. Good-luck.

Answer 6

Hell no! You deserve to know and he show want to know. I know how you feel and I know it hurts...but you cant run from it. Sooner or later she will probably file for child support or something is going to come up. So you minus well get it over with. Expect the worse and pray for the best. Good luck and be strong.

Answer 7

You have a right to be asking him to do this as it is only fair and you need to know if this child is yours or not. this will bring closure to things and the child needs a father and if he is the dad he needs to step up and be involved in his childs life. He needs to find his child asap and not hold back anymore. Go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help in this matter and he may be able to help locate them as well. I wish you both the best:)

Answer 8

if it puts your mind at rest go for it. you need to know if you husband is the father of this child . if he is he should be helping towards the cost of the upbringing of the child.explain to him that you do not wish to cause any problems ,it would be good for the child to know his father and give him all your love and support.if you know the woman's name and the approx area where she lives you may be able to trace her through one of the search engines regarding tracing missing people or electoral register. good luck.

Answer 9

Sort this mess out now , rather than later, how can you live your life, based on lies until this kid knocks on the door. The kid may never knock at least you will know.

Answer 10

Once a cheat, always a cheat. You need to rid yourself of his terrible, unforgiving ways and let this be HIS problem. Don't make it yours. You're not the one who got anyone pregnant (obviously). Let him live with this mess, ALONE. End of story.