Who's Really Responsible for the Fallout of Unplanned Pregnancies?

Question

In my reading here and on other forums, the major consensus seems to be that if an unplanned pregnancy happens, it because a man "didn't keep it in his pants." That seems backwards to me.

Equality is a strange thing, with liberties come responsibilities. To lump the fault solely on the male participant makes it seem as though women are seem as merely sex objects who have no bearing on their own lives and the consequences of their actions.

I personally believe that both sexes should share equal responsibility, but this begs other questions, such as, "If a man is expected to be responsible for the conception, can he make a decision to keep the child against the wishes of the woman, does he have a right?"

If the answer is "no," does that mean that women should accept more responsibility for pregnancies because of the fact that they will actually undergo childbirth?

Discuss.

But noone has answered the second, harder question. If it is "a woman's body" and "ultimately her choice" doesn't that mean she should take more responsibility for preventing unwanted pregnancies?" I don't care what you answer, but I would like one.

Wow...
Maybe I should give you guys a bit of background, I have a small daughter, and when she was born, I decided to find out the answers to hard questions so that when the time came, I could give her real, educated advice. I posed this question in the attempt to avoid any cognitive dissonance or preconceptions I may have.

I already know that women have the babies. I already know that their physiologies are slated for just such a purpose. I already know about divorce and family court. Please focus more on the actual question, not "who's better."

Answer 1

Parents should be responsible to sit down with their children and discuss responsible sex. They cannot deny that premarital teenage sex occurs or that their children are immune to trying this do to exemplary home lives, upbringing or religious affiliations. Mothers and Fathers need to tell children that if they are interested in becoming sexually intimate with another they should first be able to sit down and discuss birth control and what would happen if this were to be ineffective. They should discuss what the consequences would be of an unplanned pregnancy and what steps they would then plan on to be responsible. If they are not mature enough to talk openly about this to the prospective partner then they are certainly not mature enough to be engaging in such a relationship. That is the responsible action first for the parents and then for those who choose to be involved. That also includes adults who are also known to act irresponsibly.
Despite what sexist males would like to think at the end of the day it is the female who carries that baby, interrupts her life, puts of having an education and enjoying the freedom of being a high school student, bears that child and raises it. This is not a sexist fact but merely a statement of how this world is.

Answer 2

Personally, I don't believe there is a such thing as an accidental or unplanned pregnancy. If the two people don't explicitly engage in birth control, i.e., planning to NOT have a baby, then they are implicitly planning to have said baby. It's a risk that they both agree to take the moment they do the deed. And if people complain that the condom broke, or they're out of pills, or what-have-you, then abstinence should have been the thing to do.

That said, I do believe that it is the responsibility of both parties to do what's right for the baby, should they BOTH agree to have it. If the woman wants to have the right to a Baby Moses law, or child support, then the man should have the right to a paternity test.

Finally, if child support is going to be mandated, so should parental visitation. I don't think it's fair that a father have the responsibility to pay child support, but not have the right to visitation or partial custody.

Answer 3

You asked "If a man is expected to be responsible for the conception, can he make a decision to keep the child against the wishes of the woman...". I don't think this is about rights - I think this is really about what is in the best interests of the child. Psychologists agree that very young children are better off with mommy than they are with daddy. In Europe children ALWAYS go to mommy - NO EXCEPTIONS. There is no such thing as 'shared custody'. The Europeans haven't the patience: just look at what happens in the USA in the courts? It's really beyond the pale; people arguing just for the sake of arguing. Divorced couples taking advantage of the system to get back at eachother - ENOUGH! In the USA at age 12 (or so) children may decide for themselves where they wish to be - their input is taken into consideration. If Americans would do things more like the Europeans your question will be moot: problem solved. Then the courts would be freed up to deal with criminal cases - which has America bursting at the seams.

Answer 4

So the interests of the mother are the interests of the child? That's some interesting logic. I love how feminists always revert to that sort of thought in this circumstance. If women and men are so equal, and men can also do things that women can, why shouldn't a father be able to raise his child, especially if the mother doesn't want it? If the mother is a drug addict or is jobless, why shouldn't the father be able to step in and take sole or at the very least joint (EQUAL joint, not "I'll see you on Saturday") custody?

The answer to the poster's question is, both sexes should share EQUAL responsibility (unless one member is raped), and that he SHOULD have the right to have a child the mother doesn't want, although this is not allowed for in any law that I know of. Furthermore, why exactly would a child go to his father after 12 years of existence with his mother? No, I'm sorry, that logic is backwards and has no business in courts. I feel sorry for the men of Europe.

Europeans may not have the "patience" to sort through that sort of litigation, but the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA does, and THAT is one of the reasons we are the dominant power of the world. NEVER forget it.

Answer 5

Equal responsibility for the participants as far as finances. If both parties decide that the baby will be born that is good, but if one party decides that the baby should be born and the other doesn't want the baby to be born that is definitely a lot more of a slippery slope. How do you decide that kind of stuff?

I think if the mother wants an abortion and the father does not want her to have the abortion, she should have the baby out of consideration for him since he had a part in the conception.

If the mother wants the baby to be born but the father does not, to me that is more of a delicate situation. She will probably have the baby but not expect or demand any financial or other involvement from the father.

Those are just my thoughts; I have no idea how people actually handle these matters.

Answer 6

One would think that since pregnancy can only happen to women, they would be more likely to take precautions against unwanted pregnancy. Since the government is providing as many options to women as possible, they don't have to worry about it. Even if they have religious or other moral reasons not to abort, they still have other options.
In truth after conception, women have all the rights possible and can accept or deny any amount of responsibility including none at all.
The arguments feminists use to blame men are legion, such as the classic you mentioned about if a man doesn't want to be a father, he should keep it in his pants. What they fail to recognize is that this is an argument that can be used against abortion on demand (or abortion as birth control, as I call it). Yet, when it comes to feminists, women are professional victims.
Even though men and women make the same choice in relation to sexual encounters, the woman is forever the "victim", the man is always the 'bully'.

Men have no rights whatever except that given to him by the woman and as much responsibility as she deems proper as well.
In reproduction, women have all rights and no responsibility. To feminism, this is equality.

Succinctly stated, after conception, women can accept total responsibility or none at all and all shades in between. They may use contraceptives to prevent a pregnancy, abort the pregnancy, adopt the baby out to someone else, abandon the baby at a 'safe-haven' facility with no questions asked or they may keep the baby and demand someone else, even the taxpayers, help support it.
It would be wrong to force medical procedures onto another in spite of the fact that unless children are immunized, they can't attend public schools, so forcing abortion is out of the question.
However, one would think logically that both parents are equally liable for support, custody and everything else that goes with parenthood including tucking in at night, reading bed-time stories, homework, picnics, monetary and emotional support, etc. would be equally shared by both parents regardless their marital circumstances or to some degree that is acceptable to both. This is the way it SHOULD be.
Truth is, when it comes to post-conception reproduction choices, women are freely given several choices while men are given absolutely none whatever. In pregnancy, men get the blame while women get everything else.

Answer 7

It needs to be equal responsibility; both of them made a mistake. When it comes to whether or not the child should be born, I believe there should be some consideration for the mother, as she bears the burden of the biological problems of having life grow inside her.

However, a mother should not be able to force the father to support something he did not want (and has given decent notice so that there is a chance the birth could be cancelled prematurely.). The problem with most unplanned pregnancy and the issues that arise from them is the fact that the people involved were not the sharpest tools in the box to begin with.

Answer 8

The 2 people doin the copula-tin.

Both participants are responsible for preventing Unplanned Pregnancies.
Being that the woman is on the receiving end and is responsible for the after effects of having unprotected sex, she should be more concerned towards protecting herself against the Unplanned Pregnancies.
It is not right, but in the end, more times than not, the woman is left holding the bag all by herself.
So, yes, she should take more responsibility for herself.

Answer 9

Lets look at it this way for a moment....a man and woman engage in consensual sex...man wears a condom..woman is on the pill...and HIV is contracted by the woman..who's fault is that?..I think as adults we must realize that on a perfectly sunny day..it could possibly rain..don't blame the weather man...just be prepared for "all" the consequences that "could" arise from a seemingly perfect situation..so needless to say if a pregnancy ..arises out of "sex"..both parties should be responsible..because that is one thing that "could" happen...no matter how prepared you thought u were. Thank goodness for child support agencies..although they can be very unfair to the daddies...thank goodness for the adoption agencies..because Lord knows we're not all meant to be "parents"..and even the "chosen " parents can be horrible...so..we need to be as careful as possible..but at the end of a very long day...both parties are responsible...Peace

Answer 10

Both are responsible.and as far as a man being a responsible party in creating a child, then I do think he should have a say in keeping it or not and the woman should take his feelings into consideration, BUT its the womans body and the final decision is that of the woman because shes going to be the one carrying it, so he obviously is not going to be able to make the decision to keep it against her wishes.