When my husband are in the car going somewhere or just sitting and I reach for his hand to hold it...?

Question

he is very unresponsive. I'll rub his hand gently...rub his arm going up and down his arm...and I get no response. I've always heard that actions speak louder than words. How can he love me in his heart and not respond to gentleness and tenderness? Do you think this is love or not?

No, I'm not into wanting to have an accident either...this recently happened in our car...on a long stretch of highway...but happens at home, too.

No, I'm not into wanting to have an accident ...this recently happened in our car...on a long stretch of highway...but happens at home, too.

No, I'm not into wanting to have an accident ...this recently happened in our car...on a long stretch of highway...but happens at home, too.

Answer 1

Well if he's driving, maybe he's concentrating on the job in hand, do you want him to respond and crash the car?

Answer 2

I can't honestly tell. Me personally, I'm very responsive to touch and love when someone I care about responds to me in such a way. I feel this is a basic human need. As babies if we don't recieve this kind of response from loving adults we mise well be raised with the wolves. In my opinion, honestly, something isn't right. He's harboring somethinig inside, and it will come out sooner or later. Hopefully he will open up and let you know the truth. Could be stress with work, could be your relationship, it could be so many different things. Best thing to do his ask him? If he gets angry, then something possibly isn't right with his feelings towards your relationship, and hopefully this will be the beginning of the breakthrough to discovering what is needed to receive more mutual affection in the relationsip. Goodluck.

Answer 3

Don't show him any attention for two weeks and see if he cares or even notices, if he doesn't.........I hate to tell you but he probably has someone on the side :(

And yes, actions do speak louder than words! I would do some investigative work on my own if I were you. Speaking from Lot's of experience.

I am now happily married and my husband is a gentleman, opens doors, leaves me love notes and complains when I don't hold his hand. We've been married 4 years and met on a Christian website. I think he is mushier than I but I think that is great!

Answer 4

well, if you wait to show affection until you are going somewhere, there is a problem...not with him so much, but with you...however, if this is the only time he doesn't respond, there is no problem.
as for the question of his response to gentleness and tenderness having anything to do with whether he loves you or not...do a simple test...try getting a little more aggressive, he will respond, and when he does, ask him why he can't respond when you are gentle and tender...
i know men who can't respond to anything...they are called insensitive jerks, but, i would say that you really need to do some more testing before you question his love on his response to you in that given area...

Answer 5

Without knowing how long you have been married the only question is, was he always that way or is this something that has evolved over time? If he has always been that way then don't expect him change now. If not then any number of things can be happening and I wouldn't even attempt to offer a solution other then you two need to talk.

Answer 6

I'm hoping I can express this well but briefly.

You are expecting your husband to react to things the way you do. We all have things that make us feel special and loved. Obviously, if he touched you in a tender way often, that would do it for you, because that is how you are attempting to show him your love. Mistake.

What you have to do is sit down with him, explain that you want him to know how much you love him and ask him what would best make him feel that way. Ask for a couple of things, as men ALWAYS have sex at the top of the list. Then use the opportunity to impart to him what would make you feel just as loved.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Carly, talk to your husband about it. How are the other parts of the relationship? Love is best defined as the unselfish giving of one's self for the highest good of another. Do not use this as an excuse to do something stupid. You already give away that you are not really talking to him about it. WHo knows what he is thinking? I mean maybe his family did not do that. Maybe he is not touchy. Maybe he is angry about something else. Maybe stressed. TALK and get him to talk. No matter what you have both made vows that you must work to keep. Ask not whether it is love as if to look for an exit ramp but rather what must i do to save this love of my life and to put the spark back in this marriage. Go for it!! God Bless.

Answer 8

Actions are louder than words for sure, as I found out the painful way. My husband (only married for one year) was just like yours. I kept thinking it was ok, and that some men are like that. I even talked to him about it, and he admitted that he did not like to be "smothered", so I backed off. Until one day, I discovered that he was an unfaithful husband and it tore my heart to pieces. Don't let that happen to you. Just watch him close, but never accuse him of anything; just watch him to be sure of his love for you.

Answer 9

Sometimes men get unemotional at the best of times. I really don't think he meant anything wrong by that response. Why don't you ask him why he doesn't want to have the closeness. Maybe your making a mountain out of a molehill. I would like to have affection from my man back too. Men can be so hard-headed sometimes don't you think??...

Answer 10

It May Be Love It May Not.... People Show Love Different In Ways

Answer 11

Some men are not big on holding hands. If this is all there is to the problem, don't worry about it. Does he show you affection in other ways? Just let him know you'd like him to hold your hand once in a while, but don't expect him to do it all the time.