Stealing my husband back?

Question

i want my husband back... i love him, we been together 9 years. I left him 2 weeks after my mom died . My mind was a mess and I left him because of being mixed up. We hang out everyday together behind his girlfriends back. We cant stay away from eachother. We call everyday.
He said he wants me back but his girlfriend lives with him. She has no family , so he cant just kick her out with nowhere to go. She has a little boy. He is my husband so I do not feel bad for hanging out with him. He,I and the kids enjoy the time we are together...but the kids have to keep it a secret that their mom and dad hang out because of his girlfriend.

I want him back. What should i do??

Answer 1

Why would you want him back for ?

Answer 2

I get the impression that if it got out that you two have been hanging out together then maybe you should just set it up to where she sorta "finds out".

Truthfully though, he can give her the boot with nowhere to go. What did she do before that? Thats also the worst reason in the world to keep a "relationship" going is because one of the two parties involved has no place to go. That said, have you considered the possibility that he is just telling you that so he can continue his current situation and still have you on the side? I am taking into account that you were together 9 years and all but I'm also looking at this from a male perspective. I would prefer to have two going at once, but i also prefer that they know about each other.

Answer 3

Let's be blunt: you cannot steal a husband back. You are apparently still legally married, so he is still your husband and you are still his wife. Both of you still have legal obligations to and with each other, as well as your children. Legally, you belong together, so there is no option involved.

There is something far more serious in this that is unsaid.

It would be very easy to say that dad is having fun with two women, so why would he want to change that.


R E A L I T Y CHECK !



One of two things apply:

You are a fool and are actually enjoying the fact that you are not having to take direct responsibility for your own children

or

you don't give a damn, and you are enjoying the freedom.


Neither one of those may sound good, but those are the two most probable options in your life, so, either way, at this time, it is YOU that needs to look at these realities:



1-You have been away from your husband for a considerable amount of time

2- That is obvious because he not only found a girlfriend, but introduced her to YOUR children, and after that he brought her home (perhaps into YOUR home) to live with them

and,

3-YOUR children have apparently adjusted to her.

4-
The kids like seeing you during the meetings, but then they have to go back to the girlfriend.


Do you NOT see the problem with this?



5-For now, you are free to enjoy the moments of being together with your husband, and also the moments of being together with your children. Other than that, you are on your own, and acting as a free, unmarried, individual.

6-You are having fun During the meetings, and other friendly moments with your husband, but you are ignoring your obligations as a mother.

7--You have children, and they are still with Dad


FACT:

Children need BOTH parents, so it is time for YOU to check into reality.



Tell Dad to chuck the girlfriend, immediately. Let me repeat that : he should chuck the girlfriend IMMEDIATELY. Not a month or a year from now, but NOW!

This should bring both of you into today.


If he is unwilling to do that you must accept that he believes he has no future with you (all incidental pleasures aside) and he believes your actions are those of someone who has already taken the first steps (and perhaps more steps) towards cancellation of your marriage.



Accept that as your new reality. You should continue with them......file for divorce and look elsewhere for a new life.


Whatever you do, Please try to remember that your chldren need you, and you have obligations to meet with them.

Answer 4

You are his wife. Your first responsibility is to him and your children. While his girlfriend sounds reasonably nice he is wrong messing around behind her back. How would you feel if your and her situations were reversed. He needs to tell her the truth. Maybe you could talk and try to help her out a little. If it isn't absolutely necessary, let her stay so she can at least save some money to get her own place. If it doesn't work out, try to remember, hard as it must be to hear, you were the one that left him. And for what ever reason you now have to live with it. You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it.

Answer 5

Are they living in the home you once shared with each other....or are they living in an apartment. If they are living in a place where they pay rent....then if it was OK with you, he could pay the rent for her for no more than 6 month, I would actually say 4. This would give her time to find another boyfriend or a room mate. But if they are living in the house that the 2 of you lived in and bought....then it is up to him to get rid of her. If he dosen't then you need to move on.....He sounds like a very kind man ...not wanting to hurt her and put her out on the streets. If he does want to get back with you and the children then he needs to tell her that he will help her find a place to live. But like someone said b4.....it is up to your husband.

Answer 6

You haven't mentioned being divorced so I assume you are still married. It's not right for you to have to lie and or have the children make it a secret. If the girlfriends son is his then he should pay child support, but he should also go home to his wife and children. Marriage is a sacred vowel you both took before God . If he feels guilty about leaving her with nothing then help her and her son to get some help, but he should come home.

Answer 7

"Stealing my husband Back" An intriguing concept. Her is what I know from experience. I came home from Desert Storm to an empty house. After about 3 months I had a live in girlfriend. If my wife had come to me and said, "I want you back". I would have kicked my girlfriend out in a heartbeat.

Don't make excuses for your husband as to why he can't get rid of his live in piece of tail.

You can't be guilty of stealing what is yours.

Maybe he is waiting to see if you care enough to make him, make a decision. Tell him what you want. Stop playing around. Make him decide.

Answer 8

Well obviously you two want be with each other there's no question about that but the problem is that his girlfriend is living with him,now either he can just tell her to take over his place & he can move back with you and the kids or,or he will have to let his gf know that she has to find a new place.Either way he needs to make sure to tell her that he is still in love with you his wife.Talk to him about this,b.c. its just crazy for him to be living with another woman,and you two going behind her back seeing each other eventhough you're his wife,she still deserves to not be cheated on and to know the truth.

Answer 9

I understand that she has no family here but you and your husband should go ahead and get back together. Your husband had no business allowing this woman to move in with him although you were the one to leave. Talk to your husband and tell him that if he definitely wants to be with you and your children, he needs to fix the problem. Who's house are they staying in? Can he stay with you and let her stay there? Or does she need to move away?

Answer 10

why not pack up your stuff and begin moving back into your house, the girlfriend thing is so wrong. the other woman needs to leave, he is your husband not hers. it is not your problem if she has no where to go. the other woman needs to be the one who leaves, and u need to just show up when she is there and make it known he belongs to u and your moving back into the family home. think either he is afraid of the girlfriend or really wants to have u both. stand your ground, it is your home and your husband, she needs to be told to move on. get some balls here.

Answer 11

If the two of u want to be together......then he needs to do something about the gf. U cant continue saying u want to be together and sneaking around for the rest of your life or until his gf finds a place to live.
Tell him to figure out what he needs to do and make the necessary arrangments for the gf. Its not fair to her for him to not want to be with her, she would be better off without him.
He cant be cruel and just kick her and her child out either. He needs to be understanding, but firm.
Tell him to take the bull by the horns and let her know that she needs to make other arrangments because he wants to reunite with u. He needs to be honest.
Good luck to u.