I'm NOT gay- I want to make that clear NOW because people always love to make that crack. K, now that that is said...When I think about the kind of woman I would like to marry, I never ever think about things like sex or romance...it isn't important to me. I want a really good, intelligent person with great character who is a fantastic friend. Thats really all I want. A lot of people will respond to this with either A) You'll change when you're older (Which may be true somewhat, I mean I will want to have intercourse with her, but that is a non-issue when it comes to marrying her) or B) Thats great! But the people who say its great- would any of you actually want to marry a guy like that? My idea of a 'candle lit dinner' is debating philosophies, or discussing politics, or listening to music- or even silence, because silence speaks so much between two people. If nothing is wrong with me (I don't personally think there is)...
2007-02-24 10:57:33 · 17 answers · asked by fslcaptain737 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Then why is nobody willing to date such a person?
2007-02-24 10:57:51 · update #1
To sort of add to what it is exactly I want, I want to create something together. To help them, to make them better and happier and they me. And to enjoy doing it together. It seems like so much these days marriages are with people who hardly even know or like each other. Friendship and love is much more important than romance and sexuality...
2007-02-24 10:59:29 · update #2
I'm a 17 year old male...
2007-02-24 10:59:41 · update #3
No, I don't mention these sort of things to girls and end up 'scaring them off'. A lot of girls like me for my maturity and personality and such- I just don't like them.
2007-02-24 11:16:59 · update #4
You sound like a very intuitive, caring, and genuinely nice person. Women will tell you they want a guy like that. However, what most are attracted to are the testosterone pumping alpha- male types. The kind that treat them like crap and become abusive. Unfortunately, guys like you, they find boring. Good luck, I hope you find someone who loves you for whom and what you are. Don't change for anyone but yourself.
2007-02-24 11:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by rico3151 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha man seriously... 17 is mad young. You may yet find that the girls you don't find interesting now and the concept of sex for sex's sake become a lot more interesting in a few years' time, just as they are for your mates now. And then you'll really grow up and grow out of it (probably) and can settle down. But it won't be all philosophy and poetry along the way - although there'll be plenty of time for that too if that's your thing.
Also, be real about this... if you want a life-long, serious relationship, that does take time and it's not likely to happen at your age. A lot of girls, as much as guys, want to experiment a little when they're younger. Try and keep an open mind and enjoy yourself in the meantime.
2007-02-24 20:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by Analogue - Straight Out Leodis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're only 17? And already thinking about such serious subjects as marriage? Give yourself a break. It's the kind of person you are and someday, your other half will come along and you and she will click & you'll know she's right for you. Don't stress, you're young. Just have fun. Don't worry about the sex thing - it's different for everyone & that's ok, don't let society dictate to you what you are supposed to do & when. God has a plan for your life. If that includes a girl to marry, then He will bring the right one. He loves you and knows best - it's ok. relax and live for today. :)
2007-02-24 19:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by Forever 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi !!!
CONGRATULATIONS !!! There should be more guys like you on this earth!! I'm not kidding!!!
I'm NOT 17 years of age, or 20, or..... well, what I'm trying to say is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you!!! that's exactly the way it should be in the first place!!!
Friendship should come first, trust understanding and if in between all that love happens, well even better!!!
I'm in that stage too, right now I'm not interested in anybody, because to start talking with a guy, around here is like letting them know that you want a sexual encounter, or so they think!!!
The conversation, strikes quickly into that direction, and there is not even a sense of respect or broad knowledge of much of anything other than sex!!!
I totally understand what you are saying, because i feel exactly the same way, actually I feel disgusted by guys, and I AM NOT A LESBIAN, EITHER!!!
KEEP ON THAT TRACK, GOD BLESS YOU & HAPPY LIFE
A.Z.
2007-02-24 19:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some times a persons urges/hormones hit them later in life so if your not all that concerned about the sexual aspect of a realtionship yet that's nothing to worry about- your normal ! There are girls out there who would date you in a heartbeat but sorry to say they are all under the assumption that that's all guys are after-until they have a chance to meet you & know you they will assume your after a " piece"- your to young to think about getting married and if that's something you tend to mention to any girls in just a passing conversation it may scare them off or do you mention this fact that sex isn't the # 1 thing on your mind when you talk to a girl-that could make them wonder also-ya know what I'm saying? Honey if I was about 30 years younger and I had the chance to meet you and get to know you I would defitintly go out with you! Just be patience-stick to you beliefs and let nature take it's own course-your Princess will come-wait until you go to college!! You'll meet LOTS of woman there!
2007-02-24 19:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by buffster06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it's not wrong. it's very normal to feel this way. besides, i am 26 and i enjoy being single as it is- for now that is. you seem very mature for a 17 year old and smart as well too and your description of your ideal partner is quite interesting. a lot of 17 year olds and teenagers have girlfriends and boyfriends, and yet that by being alone, you have demonstrated that it hasn't made you feel in any way angry, upset or jealous. being single is not a disadvantage whatsoever. when you get older, then hopefully, you'll meet the right person and when you do, then that's when everything will fall into place, and eventually those candle lit dinner plans will become a reality afterwards! best of luck, kid and be true to yourself
2007-02-24 19:38:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You are one of the few human beings on the planet who actually know what they want! Great, now all you need do is go and find your ideal. You don't want a soul mate you want a mind mate.
You want someone who is a mirror image of you. Somebody who
understands you, somebody who is capable of entertaining a thought without adopting such a thought. Somebody who can point out the strengths and weaknesses of an argument.
Somebody who can bring you gently back to reality if you become too theoretical.
Also I think you might be what is termed asexual (don't consider sex as an important part of life) so you might want to explore that part of your psyche.
Good luck with your search.
2007-02-24 19:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by Imogen Sue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are wizened. At 17, a lot of boys are all testosterone and they think with their testosterone as their guide. You've transcended that stage and are about on the level of a 40 year old male. I hope that you find a wonderful match for your self. In the mean time relax and enjoy life, have a friend, but leave marriage for the older crowd. Put your maturity into your study of craft or academia.
2007-02-24 19:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by Grace St. Andrew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unbelievable.
It took me 20 years and a bad marriage longer to get to that stage! I can only hope you can find someone mature enough for you in your own age group.
My goals when I started dating again were much the same as yours are now. I went on quite a few dates and found all of them to be bland, lifeless, uninspiring people. Many wanted to go out again, but there was no future in them, some wanted sex, but IMO sex for sex's sake is again bland and lifeless.
I'm an active 39yo with a passion for science, philosophy and theology. I own a Zephyr (motor cycle) and like getting out to fire twirl or meet up with friends. Not many people will fit into my life so I was soo choosy I thought I would never be with someone who I could love again.
It took me a year to meet her. Almost every night we sit and talk over a wine or port, sometimes to exhaustion. We are madly in love, but we also love each other as people, and we are best friends. When we eventually fall out of love, I know it will just be so we can fall in love again.... That IMO is the secret. Find someone you can fall in love with again and again.
You are the fruit at the top of the tree my friend. You will seem almost unattainable to most women, for you are the fruit they want, but it will appear you are beyond their reach. When she comes you will know. You needn't hunt her down, she will find you, but keep your eyes open for she wont take long to pass you by.
Spend the time to read what Felicity J wrote, for she is the other side of my coin, my Ace of Cups, my Goddess, and she was well worth the wait.
Stay true to yourself and good luck.
Greenie
2007-02-24 19:34:03 · answer #9 · answered by GreenMan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I consider myself so lucky to have snagged a guy like you. Reading your query sounded like Greenman had written it himself. He's 39 now and I am 30 and we have both lived alot inbetween when we were 17 and now.
So maybe the answer you need is time.
I strongly suggest you follow your gut. You have a wise head on your shoulders so listen to it and follow your Bliss. Do the things that make you happy and you will find many great friendships there.
Don't sit around twiddling your thumbs waiting for her. Go live - expand yourself.
Happiness is like a butterfly
Chase it and it will elude you
Occupy yourself with other things ....
Before you know it
It will be resting on your shoulders
All the best
Felicity
2007-02-24 19:26:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋