Why do so many divorced dads let their kids take control of their lives?

Answer 1

Because it fills in the gap . When the other half of us is no longer there, there is a big hole that we let the kids fill in .

We are so use to the wife running that part of our life that when they are missing we have no idea what to do with the situation so we let the kids run it until we have time to figure it all out and some times we never do .

To us its not taking control its more like helping out.

Answer 2

I don't think many divorced dads let their kids take control of their lives at all. Remember that they were able to spend every day with their children before the divorce. Now after a divorce they only get a few days a week with their children. It isn't that the children control their lives so much that they are trying to have quality time with their children.

If you are dating a single dad and you have never had any children of your own then I'd say you need to get used to the idea that the dad is always going to love his children, probably more than you, and he will probably put their needs and wants above yours most of the time. Parents simply love their children usually more than they will ever love anyone else.

It always amazes me when single parents hook up with childless people and then wonder why they have problems. It is because someone who has never had children sometimes does not understand the unconditional love that you have for your children. Some childless people make better step parents than others do though so it's not that way all the time.

Answer 3

Because for the most part, however the trend IS changing slowly, divorced dad's are not the primary care giver. Some dad's feel "left out of the loop" in their kid's lives so they try to over compensate by being "The good guy" when the kids visit, other dad's feel guilty for not being there and again over compensate when their kids visit. Actually when it comes to disciplining kids If mom is around dad's don't like to be "the bad guy" , married or divorced. How many times will a kid go to mom with a request and mom will say "no" then they go too dad and dad say's "yes".

Answer 4

My daughter is going through this right now with her children as she and her husband are getting a divorce. The father plays video games with a 4 yr old, takes him to WalMart late at night, buys him toys everytime he picks him up and does not enforce any bedtimes and tells his son he doesn't have to obey his grandmother. They have two children but doesn't want much to do with the daughter who is 1 yr old. Joint custody is the worse thing that ever existed as when parents have two sets of rules and the father is revengeful and self-seeking to get back at the mother, it is disatrous. Goes to show that most men are providers and the women are nurturers by their very nature so the law should go back to the way it was, unless a mother is proved unfit, the mother gets sole custody. This is not a game, it is in the best interest of the children. Everyone in Texas can see how bad this is for the kids. And for those women out there who date a divorced man, quit worrying about how much child support they pay because those children deserve every single penny and if they don't give it to them, they will give it to you so I prefer my grandchildren to have it. I see posts all the time of women complaining about this and personally it is none of your business what the child support is. What you are really saying is you want it spent on you.

Answer 5

In my case the kids didn't control my life but they did demand most of my time.After the divorce my kids decided to live with me.We were always a close family and when it was broken the kids depended on me to make things better.Now with this void in our lives we had to fill it with something so naturally we became closer spending more time together.Managing a home after a divorce can be a challenge for some men.I found that with the help of my girls we could do it just fine.We prepared many good meals together and enjoyed time in conversation about the things going on in their life.As hard as the divorce was on all of us I wouldn't trade any of them.

Answer 6

They feel guilty that their children don't have them in their lives everyday, and they miss their kids and want to be "friends" with their kids. This is really the worst thing you can do for your child, though, since kids need a FATHER worse than they need another friend. If a father wants to be loved and admired by his child forever he should be a good PARENT first and a friend second. That means setting rules and guidelines and it means talking over the "home rules" with the child's mother and enforcing them at his house, too, within reason. That gives children the thing they need most: SECURITY. When children know their parents are "in charge", they can relax and enjoy being children.

Answer 7

it's probably guilt, they feel guilty for leaving, but it's not just the dad's; mom's do it too. They feel they have to "buy" the child's love by letting the child do whatever they want or buy them loads of junk. I think it's sad when parents do this also when they put the kids in the middle of the divorce and use them as pawns.

Answer 8

What do you mean? Expand further.

I'm sure that many divorced mother's allow their children to take control of their lives.

As to married mom's and dad's. A lot of it has to do with taking on the role of a friend instead of what the child really needs. His parent to be a parent.

Answer 9

I would have to say because of guilt. Every parent wants to give their kids the best, or at the very least better than what they had growing up. Another reason is, they don't want their kids to bad mouth them to the ex. If that happens, they have a fear of losing their love and their side of custody. Just a thought.

Answer 10

They feel as if they've hurt the kid enough by just getting a divorce and wants to try to do everything to make the kid happy again.