2007-02-24 10:32:55 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you been or are you still in an abusive relationship or marriage?
How did you cope?how did you make steps to get out and liberate your life,was it hard,did you keep coming back to them?Did they manipulate you by being good some times and bad the other times,were they violent phyiscally or verbally?
2007-02-24 10:35:55 · update #1
While everyone says get out, I couldn't agree more,
but being in that situation, I know, does make you feel
like you're stuck.
Today it's flowers and gifts and he's the greatest guy in
the world.....that was for yesterday.
They're all mind games!!
I know where stuck is, was stuck for 20 years.
Call and talk to your local domestic violence shelter,
they can help ALOT.
Staying for the kids? I look at mine and realize it was the worst
thing I could have done for them.
No job because "somehow" you're being pushed into a new situation where you have to quit or get fired?
Embarassed to talk to someone? yeah, that happens, too......
but there are more people in this situation than you could possibly imagine.
Ways to cope? I'm not sure anyone can help you with that.
The way an abuser plays with your head...there's no telling
what's coming next.
Get ahold of me if you need to talk.....my email on here is open
and I'll definitely respond.
God Bless
2007-03-04 07:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by Lynnie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not myself, but my best friend was in a very abusive marriage. It took 2 years to get her away from him. He was not only abusive but also an alcoholic and very controlling. She had 2 children and he wouldn't allow her to work. He beat her so bad that she went to a shelter where they took pictures of the bruises. Those pictures were evidence against him in court later. She had to ask for alot of help and do everything while he was at work. If you can leave...do it. My friend was someone who was the life of the party, beautiful, outgoing and smart. He reduced her to someone with no self esteem, crying all the time, nervous, afraid and believing that she was stupid. Now that she has gotten away from him she is back to her old self and met the best guy ever. It doesn't always turn out that way for everyone, but your a human being and you deserve better than him. Do whatever you need to, to get away from him. Even if you have to have him arrested. And never take him back...get a restraining order if you have to. Take care of yourself. Good Luck
2007-03-04 06:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married 27 years and leaving was the hardest thing I ever did. My X was a good provider and father, but he suffered with OCD (obsessive Control Disorder) I was Not allowed to leave our House without permission and when he was with me. He owns a Company in another County and has alot of friends and Employees. Hardly anyone understood what I was going through because they never saw that side of him. It has been over 5 years now since I left and I have met a Man thats a free Spirit and not so controlling. He encourages me to get out with friends and go shopping, ect. I Have learned that Laughter is so much more valuable than Money any day.
2007-03-04 09:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any family or friends who can help you in this hard situation. Abuse can take on many forms to physical, sexual or even emotional. have you tried counseling to help with the situation. My husband was very emotionally abusive earlier he still is sometimes when he's angry sometimes when people are angry they say the meanest things to make the other person feel hurt. You have to realize what you want do you want to stay in an abusive marriage or do you want to get out? Where will you go what will you do? what's your education do you have any financial resources or family that can help you. these are some of the things you have to think about. NOONE can treat you badly, call you mean names and make you feel degraded till you let them. Seek help from friends and family if he's willing to go to therapy then may be you can work on some issues if not please get out before its too late especially if you have children.
2007-02-24 10:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by gaganjai 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are not "stuck." You are still there because you CHOOSE to be. What you SHOULD be doing, is getting yourself "unstuck." You are a worthwhile human being, created with love by God, who expects you to build your life and enjoy your life. You need to get some marriage counseling (at a church or a community center). Go by yourself, if your spouse won't go. There are shelters where you can go to for a place to live until you can get free. They have counselors to help you find work, child care, etc. Do NOT stay in an abusive marriage. FLEE, and run fast before you are maimed or killed. God Bless you. You have value. KNOW it, and move out.
2007-02-24 10:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you an American?If the answer is yes.Then you are not stuck.You are free to do what ever you feel you have to.Has long has it is in the con-finds of the law.I have never been in a abusive relationship or at least I haven't had an b/f or spouse who was.My Dad was though.But my sister was in one for several years.And I went through it with her.I always stayed with her because he wasn't has bad when there were witness's around.And I can tell you this they never change so if you are waiting for him to do so.It is a waste of your time.You need to leave PERIOD.I know what you are going to say.I love him,he isn't that bad,he doesn't mean to do it,I know better than to make him mad.Or the old stand by I have no were to go.Or I have kids with him.Does that about cover it?Do you know how man 10's of thousands of woman died at the hands of the men whom supposedly loved them.I think it is an insult to them and the live they lost to sit back and do nothing to protect yourself.The reason we have the laws to protect us woman from our abusers are because of them.If you can't stay were you are at and get a order of protection.Then see if you can stay with friends or family.If you are in fear of your life go to a woman's shelter.They have safe places to hide you that your spouse won't be able to find you.
2007-02-24 13:10:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off I am sad to hear that you are going through this.... but one thing that you need to do is Find GOD... he has all your answers.. Now I would recommend that you put the man in jail, let's see if he can beat on them people... Baby you need to leave that man be he beat you to death.. No woman should ever have to take verbal or physical abuse... I know that is sounds easy coming from me because I am on the outside looking in, but you have to take this one day at a time and ask god for guidance.. I know that you deserve better because I would not wish that on my enemy, but we all go through things to make us stronger.. I say start fighting back... Keep sharp objects close to you and not him, and just let him know that you are no punk and he can no longer walk all over you... Demand some respect... Leave the house if you have to, don't call, don't leave a note... save some money and one day leave him... with no trace.. good luck and I will make sure I pray your strength in the lord....
2007-02-24 10:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is "stuck" in any kind of marriage, let alone an abusive one. If you're staying in it when you know that it's abusive and you know that you can get out of it, then it has to be that you want something from the marriage and/or your spouse. If that's the case, then you are willing allowing yourself to be abused, and maybe have even brought on the abuse because you are out to abuse the other person by trying to take something from them. I suggest you quit your "game" and end your marriage by getting a divorce instead of staying married and trying to use the other person.
2007-02-24 10:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah get out why don't you leave you don't have to live that way.
At the National Domestic Violence Hotline… We believe that every caller deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. We believe that every family deserves to live in a world free from violence. We believe that safe homes and safe families are the foundation of a safe society.
Until the violence stops, the hotline will continue to answer…One Call at a Time. Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 140 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
2007-02-24 10:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by Denny O 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think you are stuck? There is ALWAYS a way out. The social security office can even be petitioned for a change of SSN now if you can prove youre in danger of your life.
Yes, I have been in a marriage that was both physically abusive and emotionally manipulative. In the end it was he who left me, because his momma told him to. I was angry then , but lookign back I'd have stayed and stayed just like you feel you haev to.
2007-02-24 10:36:43 · answer #10 · answered by Betsy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋