If I a real relationship or a relationship thats out of convincence. My BF is a aspiring rapper in a group and he has problems keeping a job. He much rather be out promoting or playing gigs. It's pretty much what he lives for. My issues is that we have a baby on the way and I need more of a provider, I have a boy. He tells me that he's doing this us and I believe that he will make it and I can see that he's working hard to notice but at the same time is hard on me. I don't want him to give up his dreams either..
2007-02-24 10:07:25 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's odvious he's passionate about his rap, but you have a baby on the way and he needs to look at supporting the child, etc.
You need to decide what's better: to live in his dream looking at the "some day down the road when he's famous making zillions of dollars", or looking at reality. It's one thing when it's just you and him, but you have a baby on the way that you will need to support. Children are expensive. Can you afford it on the cash flow situation that you currently have? If the answers "no", then either you need to tell him to devote some time to making real money and that "dream money" doesn't count, OR you need to cut maternaty leave short and go back to work yourself.
A real relationship vrs. convienience is based on how YOU feel about him and the basis of the relationship that you're in. Do you feel confident that he'll be there in the long run? Are you only with him because you have a child on the way? Can he support you?
Look at your relationship objectively, make lists, "think outside the box looking in", and you'll know the answer.
2007-02-24 10:15:33 · answer #1 · answered by RONALD J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO reason why an aspiring musician can't find/keep a job; most, if not all, gigs are taking place at night, so he needs to work during the day.
I agree with the other posters, this is classic avoidance; if it weren't 'rapping', it would be something else. You'd better wise up or else you'll be supporting him and his dreams the rest of your life.
While a MAN takes care of his responsibilities, a boy expects everybody else to do so. You have a boyfriend who has yet to become a man; maybe with some not so gentle prodding you'll help him to mature, but I doubt it.
Good luck in life; you're gonna' need it...
2007-02-24 20:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by bongfuel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will eventually realize that he needs to have a more stable job, one that guarantees him a paycheck. He needs to get a part time or a full time job on the side of him doing this. If he doesn't change, then I don't think you guys should stay together, or do not get married to this man! You did make the mistake by having a baby out of wedlock, and I think that he will realize that he needs to be more of a provider instead of a little boy. If he doesn't, then I suggest not being with him. It'd be different if you were already married and trying to change him since you knew this was what he wanted to do. May not have told you what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.
2007-02-24 18:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is that you let a guy that has no clue about life make you pregnat. There's a difference between a dream and being in a dream world. If it wasn't rap, there would be some other excuse for not working. He's probably never going to grow up and be the provider you want so I think you've got a hard decision to make.
Good luck. I wish you the best.
2007-02-24 18:11:55 · answer #4 · answered by ExperienceD 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well lots of people started out working and playing and they got along great and they were go providers. But if you just put all your eggs in one basket and whether your go or not, there is always a possiblty that you won't succeed. But if your working an dmaking a living while trying to make it, well it's takes a lot of their time but will be providing. And If you make it hey quit working then but only then.
2007-02-24 18:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't have to give up his 'dreams' to work and be a good provider for you and your child. He has to accept responsibility for his child FIRST and then persue his dreams. He should be working and providing for his child first and then doing his 'gigs' on the weekends. Sooner or later you will resent him if you are the only one providing for your child, and if you end up on welfare, the state will force him to go to work to pay child support anyway. Good luck. It sounds like you have a hard road ahead of you!
2007-02-24 18:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Support him ... he's your baby's daddy. You can enroll in a vocational school and pursue a career and be the provider.
2007-02-24 18:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by divinity 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋