Is it wrong to tex someone if your dating?

Question

right got back with my fella after been spilt up for over a yr. I have male and female friends who I tex. I dont go out anywhere with out my fella. I had a tex off a male friend and my fella saw it I have nothing to hide so I did not think he would kick off. he did accuse me of having an affair with this bloke. I told him I would ring his wife cause I am her mate too. and he let me do this. I feel I have done nothing at all wrong and asked my fella if he trusts me he told me no. I was hurt by him ringing my mates wife to see if it was true did she know of us ttexing (she did not have a problem at all with it) I dont see this bloke he is an old friend from when I was in my teens, I am not having an affair. am I in the wrong. is my fella right for going off and leaving me. he told me when I say I have learnt that I have done wrong he will come back. He says its wrong. I have not done anything wrong by texing. I am confused.

Answer 1

You did not do anything wrong.

Trust is one major foundation of a flourishing relationship, and if you both don't have this, then this is a relationship that wouldn't be healthy for either of you.

Sometimes, jealousy is one aspect of a relationship that tend to spice things up. But in this particular situation, I think your boyfriend went overboard and over-reacted.

It's been a known fact in psychology that this reaction could be a reflection of his innermost feelings. We call them reaction formation; a defense mechanism where people who are guilty of a wrongdoing tend to magnify other people's actions that mirror their mistake (or sin) and over-react.

Maybe, just maybe - your fella is the one who is playing around and the thought of you doing the same to him made him freak out.

Answer 2

You certainly have not done anything wrong. Why shouldn't you be friends with another man? Your fella sounds like a right cave man, I think you should get rid of him completely. Men who feel such a need to control their women are not good to be with.

Naturally you are confused. You love this fella but from what you've told us, he doesn't trust you, and you feel sad about this. And rejected. I think you should forget about him and find someone who does trust you and who isn't threatened by you having male friends.

Answer 3

You've done nothing wrong for texting someone and he was being a total a**hole for leaving you for exactly no reason at all. You know you didn't do anything and you guys are just friend s so my advice is not to get back with him if you're planning to because he's not gonna have any trust in you and imagine what he will do to make sure you don't cheat on him. You can find better people.

Answer 4

Well, it's not that black and white to be honest with you.
The fact is, when people are adults and in a relationship, they do have to be more careful with this texting business I think.
I mean texting someone once in a while, and obviously if you have things that you need to say to them fair enough, but it's tricky.
I think that the line is very thin between lack of respect and looking for trouble.
This guy you're texting is married.
You are in a relationship, so quite honestly, what need do you have to keep texting him even if his wife doesn't have a problem with it.
How would you like it if it were your boyfriend doing the same.
I'm sorry, but I think that your guy does have a point.xx

Answer 5

If I am honest, it would be interesting to know why you split up the first time this might have some bearing on the situation, your other half has trust issues and if you guys dont sit down and work them out so you are both happy it will slowly eat away at both of your dooming the relationship to total faliure. In my opinion it is up to you how you want to play it. Its not a game though it sounds like he is geniunely upset and truly beleives you are being unfaithful. You need to tell him and unfortunately play by his rules until he accepts this is not the case. No friend is worth splitting up a relationship, nor should they unless thats what you both want.

Answer 6

No you haven't done anything wrong in texting a friend ...you didn't hide it from you b/f or lie there is nothing wrong with having a male friend .
As far as i can see the only thing you did wrong was go back out with your b/f.
My advice would be to get rid of him and find someone who respects and trusts you

Answer 7

but you wanted to, we all know it, don't play that innocent crap with us. you like it because your guy got mad, you aren't put off,
you would have like it better if he had of went over to his house and beat the crap out of him . you would have thought" he really does care about me". I am just messing with ya, there is nothing wrong with texting someone from the past, the only wrong thing is hiding it. you shouldn't cut off your ties with the world, you fella is not predictable anyway and who knows when he might cut you off and you will have to get some somewheres. don't let anyone isolate you from the world.

Answer 8

Well, if you don't have trust in your relationship then it won't be a good relationship. Your boyfriend is in the wrong for leaving you when you proved to him that you are not cheating. You have to decide if you love him enough to put up with his jealousy because he probably won't let you keep your friends if you stay with him. He sounds insecure. I couldn't stay with someone like that who won't let me have friends. That's childish. He should trust you when you say you are not cheating.

Answer 9

He is jealous and does not trust you.
This says more about him than about you.
A little jealousy is a good thing, it means he cares about you and doesnt want to lose you but this sounds way over the top.

He is probably not someone you should trust.

Answer 10

Your not wrong. He needs to understand that women can have male friends without wanting to have sex with them. Jealous men are hard work and he needs to understand that your with him and no one else. Its his own insecurities he s dealing with. Keep texting all your friends, they are not worth giving up.