me and my ex wife split up when i joined the army she said"she couldnt be married to someone in the military" she calls all the time to talk and let me talk to our son but is preagnant by another man that i had a BAD confertation with a few months ago n hurt him . he acted me but anyways. she cries she wants out of there relationship to me all the time. I want her back but feel i can not trust her. wat do i do?
2007-02-24 09:07:40 · 13 answers · asked by jon s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The true worst thing is to listen to ' friends ', When you are alone, really ponder where your heart is, that is the real answer. If it isn't real, it will show up real soon after getting back together. God Bless !!
2007-02-28 05:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by fuzzypetshop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is simple. If you still love her and want to be with her then you will have to learn to trust her again and you will have to accept the baby she is carrying as if it were your own. You will also have to accept that the babie's father will be a part of her life even after they split up. She said she can't be married to someone in the military and now she's regretting splitting up with you? What a fruit cake! If I were you I would wait this one out and see if she really does split up with the other guy before you talk about getting back together with her.
2007-02-24 17:20:38 · answer #2 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you say you can't trust her and that is the most important aspect in any relationship. You shouldn't be with someone you can't trust.
Are you still in the Army? If she couldn't handle being married to someone in the military before, she won't be able to handle it now. It takes a strong woman to raise children while her spouse is deployed.
If I were you, I would just be a friend to her and a dad to your child. She is fragile and is unhappy in her relationship, but you should not be a back up, or the rebound guy. Listen to her, but realize that you may not have a future.
2007-02-24 17:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. She is pregnant by another man,but you are not still married to her, so she really hasn't cheated on you. You have a violent temper and beat up the guy. You can't trust her???? I think she can't trust you. You are the one who joined the military knowing she couldn't and wouldn't stay with you if you did. I think SHE can't trust YOU! (and you need to resolve that violent temper with some counseling). I think if she wants you back, and you can raise this man's son and your own child, you should go to counseling, learn to be a real man (loving, caring and emotionally stable), and try to make a go of the marriage next time. However, if you can't see this man who fathered the child without going haywire, you shouldn't remarry her, because her baby is HIS child and he will have the right to see the child on a regular basis.
2007-02-24 17:18:41 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not trustworthy and since it isn't working with her lover she wants the temporary stability of having you back. She already said she couldn't handle a husband in the military which means she will not out up with being alone - doesn't that tell you something???? She wants a man(any man) to be around her 24/7. You want a lifetime of heartache? Take her back until she finds someone else to leave you for - otherwise look for a woman that stands beside you and is faithful to you. What you are doing is honorable so you deserve an honorable woman to share your life with.
2007-02-24 17:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want your family back together tell her,,, tell her that your onsure about trust with her...Let her know that you dont feel mistreated by her lies... talk to her and see if you your heart will lead you to beileve her... I say always go for it, in the long run at least you can say that you tried right and that is more then what most men do... some of them dont ever ever go back for there familys.... talk about why she left and cheated see if you can come up with something that maybe she was lacking the first time she probably need ed you and she felt like you were not there for her... just give it shot and got for it it can work if you want to
2007-02-24 17:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by prettygirl new orleans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to like you should just worry about your son, and move on with your life, especially since you feel that you could never trust her. With out trust there is no relationship, you would constantly wonder and worry about what she's up to when you,re not around. You say that you still love her, I think anyone who,'s been married to someone and had children with them would. When she starts crying to you about how she wants out tell her she made her own bed now she can lay in it. I think that love and trust go hand in hand, with out one you don't have the other.
2007-02-24 17:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by Lil Red Rabbit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if there was no cheating involved, and u and her were split up before she got involved with the new man u should wait until she splits with him before u invest in her again. if there was cheating involved it might be a little harder to get past. but u do have a boy with her and to me that is the most important thing, so talk to her, find out where her heart is at, if she loves u she will leave the other man.
2007-02-24 18:19:09 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're still in the military - she's using you as a crutch. Once you break-up, the relationship is broken. You will never trust her fully again. She's probably gotten herself into a bad situation, and is leaning on you to get her out of it. What happens then? Move on.
2007-02-24 17:25:54 · answer #9 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bottom line is if she doesn't want a military husband and you are still in the military,move on that's her problem now. just take care of the child you have w/her. she made her descion we she cheated. take care.
2007-02-24 17:17:59 · answer #10 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋