I went to the place where the person works and wanted to give him the candy, a gift, and a card for Valentine's day last week and he would not accept it. He said that it is inappropiate to give at a office. When I went back to the place later in the afternoon that day where the person works he took it out of his mailbox and put it on the floor next to the desk by the secretary. When I got there it was on the floor by the secretary's desk and that hurt me so much and upset me very much also.
2007-02-24 08:29:24 · 8 answers · asked by Heidi T 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He also said that he is in a great relationship with his fiancee. He and his fiancee live together for many years but they are not married. Can't a friend accept candy, gifts, and cards for each of the holidays from another friend and for just being a friend to that person?
2007-02-24 08:33:11 · update #1
I think that there may have been a more sensitive way for this person to deal with it but the giver needs to take some things into consideration.
First of all, what kind of place of business does this person work? For women and in some workplaces, it is fashionalbe to receive gifts at work, bouquets of flowers and balloons- it kind of puts that person at the center of attention and makes them feel special. Some places of business it is just not appropriate- those things get in the way, they can be very distracting and sometimes the feeling they give to other workers is showy and obnoxious. You also have to conseder the personality- giving this to a man at his place of work- may make him feel self conscious- in a place where he is trying to be completely professional and have the respect of his coworkers, this can be a point of ridicule or could be looked down upon.
At this point I would go and open the lines of communication- tell him that you are sorry if you caused any discomfort or did something that you did not realize was a problem- ask him to help you understand exactly why this was a problem-
Why did you want to send this stuff in the first place- to show your feelings for him, to let him know that you consider him special- well show it now in action- don't approach him offended and wounded- approach him with consideration of his feelings and why this caused him upset in the first place- be willing to listen and willing to be understanding and considerate of these things in the future even if you don't fully understand why this was a problem. Without being combative, explain to him why you wanted to send these things in the first place and come to an agreement about how to give and receive gifts surprises in the future.
If you truly care about him then you will care about his reputation and boundaries in other aspects of his life such as work and his circle of influence, friends , etc. and you will respect his wishes regarding etiquette in these areas
2007-02-24 08:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow that is unbelievable. What a sweet gesture on your part and what a callous gesture on his. Ladies have flowers delivered to work all the time, poor excuse that the office is an inappropriate place. Its because he has no feelings for you im sure. I would chalk it up to experience and not let it get me down, that is a one in a million reaction, rudeness doesnt usually follow gifts of thoughtfulness.
2007-02-24 08:40:01 · answer #2 · answered by stephenmwells 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
F uck him it is not inappropriate to give a gift at any time he is full of sh it, and very very rude.If he didn't want to take the gift because he didn't want you to feel like he was digging you or what ever then he should have just said that. But to do it like that was very fuc king rude.If i was you i would have told him to its cool don't trip but from here on out if you bi tch *** burst into flames i want give yo stankin a ss the gift of spit, fu ck you and have a nice day. and took my sh it back. Girl from hear on out that bi tch couldn't get a muther fuc kin paper clip from me and i would keep it moving.
2007-02-24 08:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't waste your time one someone who doesn't have regard for your feelings. if he truly felt uncomfortable accepting such things at work, he could have at least said thanks, bring it to my place later, or something. sounds to me, in my humble opinion, that he may not be as interested as you are. find someone worthy of your efforts! ;)
just read your "add-on"...ummmm, no you really shouldn't give that kind of stuff to an engaged "just-a-friend" person...if someone brought my husband that stuff...no.
2007-02-24 08:35:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is just using an excuse because maybe is isn't interested.
He seems like a jerk anyway.
2007-02-24 08:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by JLW74033 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him, hes not worth it if he does something like that. im sure theres many guys who would treat you better than that
2007-02-24 08:33:08 · answer #6 · answered by nancy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont' give co workers Valentine's gifts
2007-02-24 08:32:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
just break up with him.
2007-02-24 08:37:16 · answer #8 · answered by Amy T. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋