He arrives every friday. When he pulls in the driveway the neighborhood boys come running to play. My husband loves to have his son here but I need a break my house is full of loud disrespectful children all weekend every weekend. My husband thinks that is selfish. Does anyone know a nice way to make me happy too?
2007-02-24 08:14:04 · 23 answers · asked by Brown Eyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well your husband probably enjoys seeing his son, and every weekend isn't too much for him to ask. i came from a divorced family and it is very importaint to keep the bond between a father and his children, given the fact the son doesn't live with him. for yourself, you could take a weekend and go to a spa, or do other things you enjoy that your husband doesn't like to do. once a month, i go out with my girlfriends, just to get time away from the house and have some time for me. try doing something for yourself when your stepson is there and let your hubby enjoy his son! good luck to ya!
2007-02-24 08:19:57 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to be there? Take some time for yourself away from the house. Go to the gym, play tennis with some friends, go to the movies by yourself. Get a good book and go read at the park. Leave your husband at home with the kids and take off baby! You'll feel better about spending time with the step son and your husband if you are not expected to be there every minute. Your husband should understand that. It is not selfish to want some quiet time, but it IS selfish of you to ask your husband to say not to time with his child. Under normal family circumstances he would have every day with that child. Don't ever come between those two or you will regret it. You may even find yourself single again.
2007-02-24 08:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not selfish. However, you married him knowing what you were getting into.
My recommendation? Suggest he and the boys go on a BOYS ONLY weekend trip every other month or so. That way they will get out of the house and you can enjoy some peace and quiet.
Or you can have a "girls" weekend with a sister, mother, or friend. That would get you away from all of the noise and commotion.
OR... you could do a combination of the above....
If money is a factor, suggest that the boys go on cheep day trips together... that will at least give you a day together.
If your work has flex hours, maybe you can change your off days so that you are off one weekday and work one weekend day.
Below are some links to step-parenting and co-parenting sites. Your family may or may not find them useful.
But, no, you are not selfish. Every person deserves some quiet down time.
2007-02-24 09:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer Anne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every women is not made the same! you should not feel bad that you tire of your stepsons visits.
Try to sit down with your husband and talk to him let him know that you love him and therefore you care for his son, but you two still need your quality time together.
I myself have raised a stepson from four years old to fifteen, and it is a big job, at least you have a break during the week.
Now I have another step son and two step grandchildren, so count your blessings and talk too your spouse Iam sure he will understand, maybe he can visit everyother weekend and give you guys some time.
2007-02-24 08:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by Thea V 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband should take a weekend for you and him and take you out and make you feel special.If the stepson is driving that means he is old enough to understand that you need to have some time for yourself as well.Good luck.I know men can be selfish so be patient,and if they do not respect your wishes then take time for yourself without the boys! On the other hand if he is being driven and is a minor then you have to be a little more patient,but I still believe you need time for yourself.
2007-02-24 08:21:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is his bio mom getting on your case about this? He is only 16 years old. What the hell is he doing smoking in the first place, and who is buying him the cigarettes? He can't smoke legally until he is 18. Don't give into him, stand your ground. Tell him that it's not his house and he has no right disrespecting what you and your husband have to say. If he runs to his mom's house, don't chase after him, just let him run there. If he doesn't come home after a day or two then call the police and report him as a runaway since your husband has custody of him. It doesn't matter if you know where he is or not. Good Luck.
2016-03-16 00:24:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did know beforehand that he had a kid didn't you? You could limit the number of friends he can over at one time and limit the amount of time the friends can stay. It seem s like the problem is not so much your stepson as yours and your husbands failure to set limits.
You could also schedule a weekend away at least once a month. On that weekend, the whole responsibility of his son goes to your hubby. Don't even think about it while you are away. (Even if it's just at a girlfriends house across town)
2007-02-24 08:23:48 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about sitting down with your husband and letting him know how you feel about the situation? If not, you might want to just do that. Or take a weekend trip away from home with your girlfriends. I don't feel that it's selfish of you at all. Sometimes you need a weekend for yourself, and you and your husband. I hope this helps you.
2007-02-24 08:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not selfish, its your weekend also, not just his. At the same time you cant expect him to give up time with his son. Nor is it fair of your hubbie to expect you your entire time with his son when you are not his mother.
Perhaps you could approach it differently. I bet your husband feels you are rejecting his son, which I am sureyouare not. Instead of saying you are tired of the kids, tell him you want him to bond with his son so you are going to do your own thing every other weekend.
May I also suggest you get a couple of counseling sessions with your hubbie to discuss this with him with a non-interesting 3rd party. This is a very difficult situation.
2007-02-24 08:32:48 · answer #9 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are two sides to this, and it is hard to deal with someone Else's child, your husband will always see it as u being selfish, no matter what u think. why can't the kids go to one of the other houses once in a while? but he will never see it your way, not ever. best to just deal with it, it is better than going through a divorce.
2007-02-24 11:27:23 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋