I have always been sexually attracted to men. However I realised a little time ago that I have fallen in love with a woman older than me! Even if I am not sexually attracted to her I realise that this must be love because I have all the symptoms of love, thinking about her all the time,having heartbeats every time i see or speak to her, I even sense it when she is somewhere around! I am physically attracted to her but only at the point where i want to be close to her, having her hugging me,kissing me on the forehead or cheeks and loving me back in the same way . I have never felt such strong loving feelings for anyone before,or wanting to be with someone so much. At the same time I know that am not attracted to women..So how can this be? I am so confused!
2007-02-24 07:56:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Loving someone of the same sex doesn't exactly mean that you are homosexual. Perhaps you long for an older women role in your life that is not your mother. Having someone you can admire that is of the same gender and is older than you - besides your mother - is very important, and aids in the development of yourself. I am in the same situation. I wouldn't exactly say, "I have fallen in love", but I have become deeply attached to a female teacher in my school. I blush every time she talks to me, and I think about her a lot, but I don't "love" her the way I would love a man or something.
Don't worry about it. She might have just become your idol! You can't say your are homosexual for sure until other things happen.
2007-02-24 08:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Ami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in love is temporary, but loving someone is permanent..... I start out with that because you have expressed a lustful behavior towards men but have you ever had these feelings towards a man? I think you have fallen in love because you get something from this person that you have lacked in your other vital relationships. And yes it is possible to love someone you are not completely attracted to but REAL and TRUE love is the whole package. You have to do some real soul searching as to what it is you want from a man or woman besides sex, because it sounds like you have just been lacking affection.
2007-02-24 08:05:43 · answer #2 · answered by sugarbabee80 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't treat your sexuality like a light switch. You can be attracted to many different people for many different reasons. Enjoy the pleasure she brings to your life and realize that things may change. Have you spoken with her about your feelings? She may feel the same and it could be the beginning of a great relationship. On the flip side, she could help you work through the feelings and understand the difference from her point of view. Either way, communication is the key to understanding your situation.
2007-02-24 08:11:02 · answer #3 · answered by mollyoceania 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey are you ever asking the right person!
I, myself, am a gay woman who just got out of a relaitonship with a gay man. We knew we were gay when we got into the realtionship, and even though everyone else had a problem with it, we saw absolutely nothing wrong with loving each other. We did not have a sexual relationship but we slept together, kissed, hugged, showed every kind of affection a normal loving couple would.
We knew that loving each other didn't make us any less of who we are, inside we were both still gay adults. Love and sexuality are wonderfully fluid but completely separate.
2007-02-24 09:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jeannie C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this does not mean you have fallen in love with her, b/c of the major signs of falling in love would be to be with that person sexually as well as everything else. I think this is more of a "Mom" type of relationship you have with her (not suggesting she's older) Sounds like to me that she has been there for you through a lot, maybe like a mentor. Sounds like she is just a best friend, and right now you need that, b/c maybe you have gone through something horrible. This is just my opinion on the situation... I mean, you could just love her as a close friend, b/c you don't want to be sexual with her??? I don't believe your in love with her, but we are all here for you :)
Dixiexccoach05@aol.com
www.myspace.com/dixiexccoach05
2007-02-24 08:08:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not sexually attracted, then I say you are not gay. There are various types of love. You may be feeling a maternal love or some type of spiritual love. There is even the theory that you were together in a former lifetime.
2007-02-24 08:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by Redshanks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as corn-balled as this may sound to you, it's not really love you're experiencing. It's called "infatuation". Perfectly harmless, normal and even a good thing because it means all of your neural synapses are firing away in the order that they should. It also means that your body is developing normally too because of your physical reactions to her presence. As to being "gay" sweety, That one is one you'll have to find out on your own. There's nothing wrong with you if you are or are not gay(lesbian, homosexual, whichever you wish to use, even bi-sexual)!! Just remember that this is YOUR life and not someone else's!!
2007-02-24 08:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can attract not only men but also women
look at the bright side you have more choices now!
2007-02-24 08:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by Coop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋