Can I get spousal support from my husband of 20 years, if we are not divorced?(I have never had a job)(5 kids)

Question

I have been married 20 years. I am a stay at home mom. I have never had a job, but I raised our 5 kids. I am leaving my husband and want to know if he is legally obligated to help me with spousal support, even though we are not divorced. For the last 2 -3 years he has basically only paid for rent and food. I have gotten no clothes, shoes, hair cuts, no movies etc. I do not even have a car, as mine was repossesed because he wouldn't help me pay anymore.He has told me if I leave him he will take custody of our minor daughter, who is 13 years old. Does she have a say in who she wants to live with? Remember, I have no job, no car, and no means of supporting her, except for him.All of our things are in storage(19 months now, and he quit paying for it. All my lifes treasures like my photo albums, year books, kids baby books and first hand prints, not to mention all their trophies. My oldest son was a valedictorian and his gold cap and gown are in storage too.Our home was foreclosed

Answer 1

OK... here I go.... forgive me... spell check wont work and my typing is crap////


To teh storage... talk to teh owner/manager... see if you can work something out with him.

as to spousal support... and if your 13 yr old has a say... who knows... every state is different.... I wish I could say definitely... but htat would be false hope.

However... things are in your favor.

Social security statements get maild home a couple times a year. Find your and his. That will establish the history that he is the bread winner.

Find a place to live... with a fmaily member, or whoever. I have several links below that will help you with that... inclduding HUD and Social services.

Contact your local legal aid department. Tell them you want a divorce. The can help you get one. You can also get a put out order & temporaty custody as you will be the first to file. The important thing here is... he never let you work, he will not provide even cloths for you, and his money is NOT going to support your family. You are afraid for yourself and your children.

While spousal support is a maybe. child support is a definite. You will recieve that. Period.

I am including links to domestic violence sites. I know you say nothing about this, however, he sounds very controlling and possibly abusive. Also, if he is messed up wiht drugs, alcohol, or gambling, he may become violent.

I have also included a few links to local resource finders... that way ou can find out what resources are in your community. Many churches would be more than glad to help someone in your situation.

Also, before you get teh divorce papers and everything... before he catches on... get all teh info on his credit and the bills yall have as possible. AND wipe out as much of your info off of hte house computer at the same time.

Really... it sounds like you need a lawyer. You may be able to get legal aid to get you in front of a judge... then get teh judge to order he pay for your lawyer...

Good luck.

Answer 2

The best advice is to get a lawyer and ask questions, It used to be that the one who files for the divorce pays for it.If the divorce is granted You would be granted child support for children under 18 years old, alimony or spousal support varies from state to state and that I believe has a time limit as well. You really need a job, the child support would stop at 18 years old. At 13 your daughter would have her say, however the out come of the divorce would affect where your daughter lives, if spousal and child support are included in the divorce, your daughter would live with you.child support alone would severely limit your chances of having your daughter live with you as Child support would be about $100.00 a month with $25 additional support for medical. These amounts might not be the same in your state, I am in Texas and I was not married and my then girlfriend left me for no reason, she regrets doing it . I had to pay back child support and current support and medical support, the entire amount was $145.00 a month, I received a lump sum for back benefits for Social Security which allowed me to pay it all off, she was pissed because she thought she would get the back child support, she did NOT as she had collected AFDC-Aid For Dependent Children without my knowledge, this was fraud as she was getting child support from me and that too.The state took nearly everything I payed for the back support due to her getting the AFDC benefits.You can look for lawyers that do FIRST consultations for FREE, once you find one then make an appointment and go to it with anything you can get your hands on showing you side of the story, from there this lawyer can offer advice on how to proceed, the decision to use the lawyer and or their advice is yours to decide.Good Luck.

Answer 3

If you can get the money together to pay the storage and get it current, you can go into the containers or storage space and collect your treasures. Just take out what you really value, and leave the rest. Then file for divorce, your husband can not take your daughter from you. he has to pay for her support according to how much he makes, he has to pay you spousal support depending on your years married and how much he makes. You will be entitled to 1/2 of the bank acct, and he has to provide you with transportation if you have a minor child. If you own a home he has to refinance and give you half of the equity. so reguardless of what he is telling you, You will certainly leave the marraige with enough to get you started. Then think about what you are good at, and look for a job. managing a home and taking care of a family gives you alot of skills that employers look for. if you know your way around a computer, you can find alot of positions in C/S or Receptionist. Further your education while working and you can get even a better position. You will be fine. You can file for divorce yourself with out attorneys. Low cost, and you will get everything I mentioned above. if he has alot of money then hire a lawyer, he will have to pay for that too. Don't let him intimadate you, get what you deserve. No matter which way you choose to do it, your daughter will stay with you. Don't listen to what he says. Remember.. you get 1/2 worth of home, 1/2 bank acct.. a car, spousal support, and child support. Is your home in total foreclosure? do you all have to get out. I guess you won't get anything from the home. You will get everything else.

Answer 4

It all depends on what state you live in and what kind of judge you get. In most states, your 13-year-old can chose who to live with. My best suggestion is get a lawyer and get a job. Even if it's just babysitting children in the neighborhood. (this will help with money and look better when you go to court.) If funds are a problem, go down to your local law college and ask for help. They almost always have free legal advice, if not free counsel. More than likely he will have to pay child and spousal support if you have not been working throughout the marriage. Good luck, you'll need it.

Answer 5

Yes you can get spousal support and 1/2 of everything and most likely custody of your daughter because he will have to pay child support untill your daughter is 18 go see a lawyer and file for a divorce ask your family to loan you the money but do it before he does and the lawyer will make him pay your attorney fees.

Answer 6

Lady --- stop and think !!! You need to get a lawyer and a job.

My goodness after 20 years of marriage ---divorce him legally and have the court force him to help.

You owe your 13 year old a fair chance to have a nice home and to go to college or a trade school --- if she wishes. Yes, she has a say in who she lives with, mother or father.

Where are the four emancipated kids --- can they help you a little here, if they all pitch in together?

Good Luck and by that I mean --- work hard and make your own luck.

...and God Bless you all.

Answer 7

you need to get a lawyer-in some states you would be able to get spousal support with a court order. As for your daughter most courts will listen to a child that old. This could get ugly so be prepared for him to slander you but his biggest mistake may have been letting you lbe a stay at home mom. Of course now he has set you up because your lifestyle has changed so he can say that you are accustomed to nothing and the support order would pay for nothing-sound slike he is using his money to support his own lavish lifestyle and leaving you and the children out to dry but dont be his victim. Stand up and be the woman you are capable of being

Depending on his lifestyle he may not be able to get custody of your daughter as he might not be able to properly care for her due to his work schedule.

Girl-first things first-go get a job so that you can. Your son may be willing to help too-he needs a job too, your family can make it if you take action.

You have it in you to be strong-no you have to make it happen.

I believe in your ability-now you ahve to as well

I hope this helps-email me if you want to talk

Answer 8

Yes yes yes...u can get support. And yes she will have a say in where she wants to live.The judge will most likely let her pick where to live due to her age. Now if u leave then u have to ask a lawyer if u still can get support.Good luck I mean u can ask for support but I'm not sure if the judge would give it to u if u were the one to leave. Ask a lawyer.There are lawyers that will give u free advise.

Answer 9

talk to an attorney. THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE and things vary depending on where you live.

The court may make you get a job to help pay some of the expenses but that's a long term relationship and, from what I've seen, you could get temporary support - before the divorce.

Answer 10

Most states the answer is Yes, you will get support from several places if you just apply yourself to that Goal. Much Good Luck, and God Bless !!