Dreams are made of thoughts so sweet, they make our minds relax and sleep. sometimes seen in black and white , they wield a field made just for flight, and bring us love that feels so rite, so dont forget your wonderfull dreams they are onley sights you have seen.
2007-02-24 07:47:01 · 15 answers · asked by Triplndy 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Television
Hey, that's actually pretty good.
It's better than alot of the stuff i've seen people ask about on here, and better than anything I could write.
Good job, i really like it :)
2007-02-24 07:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whilst i replace into making waiting pupils for the the two the Cambridge and Michigan college decrease and expertise tests, consistancy interior the compositions and oral interviews mattered specifically. Now the decrease levelled national tests have been all consistent with British English, so right here you have a student who has been gaining wisdom of to spell a definite excess of a minimum of a 5 365 days era, and each and all of the unexpected they're predicted to keep in mind each and all of the transformations for the main mandatory tests of all. Cambridge college replace into extra strict in marking the transformations than Michigan replace into, however the Cambridge tests are extra concept-based, and the Michigan spotlight an ease with use interior the 2d language. The extra moderen London college tests are hit or omit, spelling would not even count extensive sort if it does not eliminate from the comprehend-how of what has been written. to respond to your question, it is going the two procedures...yet you're superb to be annoyed at being corrected by skill of people who do not understand there are a truthful volume of transformations between the two languages (British and American English) and that the two are splendid. as quickly as I see questions or solutions i can incredibly comprehend because of the fact of spelling errors, it makes my dermis flow slowly, yet i attempt to keep in mind this may well be a individual who continues to be interior the skill of gaining wisdom of English...the only forgivable excuse. and a few human beings have been via no skill able to extra advantageous their training and/or by no skill mandatory to jot down lots interior the jobs they have had over the years, i don't suggestions their making errors, the two...that's comprehensible. So are sort-o's. some peple are in basic terms intense dickwads, yaknows? Reall hi and mitey and think of there warm shite an all dat, and anybody else shud be and look and scent and communicate and write in basic terms like'em...
2016-10-16 09:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by millie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a prose poem, which is fine. "Wield a field" shows some promise as far as sound device, but it feels like you are pushing to use that phrase despite the fact that it doesn't really make sense. It's all dandy and wonderful except you barked as us not to help you with the one thing your work DESPERATELY needs help with--well... that and punctuation. Oh, and since you wrote it as sentences and not stanzas, your sentence structure needs help too. All in all, you have some good ideas that you didn't express in a cliche manner, which is a sign of an original poet. Keep on pushing that figurative pen to the paper and remember: no one cares about our poetry, so if you like writing it and want to continues creating, get some REALLY thick skin.
2007-02-24 08:04:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the middle section,
"Sometimes seen in black and white,
they wield a field made just for flight,
and bring us love that feels so right,"
is awkward, and throws off the rhythm. I'd add another line (or maybe combine them into two lines.)
2007-02-24 07:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by drink_more_powerade 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice. Interesting structure (AA, BBB, CC).
I like the internal rhyme "wield a field." It took me a minute to wrap my brain around "wield," because I kept seeing it in terms of "brandish;" however, in terms of "having power over," it works.
2007-02-24 07:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would work on the last sentence because it doesn't seem to flow very easy like the others. Also, it seems like you have three sentences that have an "ite" type ending- is this on purpose? Maybe you need another line...
2007-02-24 07:53:53 · answer #6 · answered by longleggedfirecracker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good, however the last bit is too long unless you forget to break it in half A (,) is missing ;)
2007-02-24 07:51:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love it ive been writing my own poems for the last two days and it is a really good way to calm yourself
2007-02-24 07:50:54 · answer #8 · answered by smartie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very sweet A+
2007-02-24 07:56:01 · answer #9 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a fine poem. PS use a dictionary. : P
2007-02-24 07:56:57 · answer #10 · answered by Olivia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋