My boyfriend is a professional, a worker's comp attorney, but he got laid off about seven weeks ago. He spends about five hours a week actively looking for a job. He'll put out a handful of resumes a week, four or five. He still has not gone to court to discuss possible jobs which he said is foremost importance. I asked him if he is going next week, and he said, "maybe, maybe not".
But he gets very mad at me when I finally told him that looking for a job is a full time job, and he isn't putting enough effort into it. And he is starting to get on my nerves, he gets up early, sits around until noon or 1 o'clock, then goes out there for a couple hours doing not a whole lot. He is quite a bit older than I am. He gets unemployment at $450 a week for 6 mos and has nearly no money saved.
How many hours should he be looking for a job a week and a day? Is this normal? What should I do? I'm about ready to leave him because he threatens me, says I'm mean when I'm trying to help.
2007-02-24 07:43:11 · 6 answers · asked by August lmagination 5 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
How many hours a day he spends looking is up to him and it doesn't sound like anything you say or do is going to change that.
You are going to have to do some serious soul searching here and decide if you want to continue this relationship. I'm more worried about you than I am about him.
2007-02-25 07:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by Faye H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that he should be doing almost a fulltime job in looking for a new job, I would say at minimum 20 - 25 hours a week - thats 4 to 5 hours per day!!! (not per week)
It takes time to personalise your resume and write a personalised cover letter for each job. When I was looking, I found it hard just completing 3 (resumes and cover letters) per day. Usually I managed 2. You want to get each letter just right.
But even then, I still tried to send out at least 10 applications every week. Remember you have to factor in interviews as well. The longest time I spent unemployed was only 7 weeks.
2007-02-24 08:42:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My DH has been laid off exaclty 1 time. Starting the very next day, he sent over 50 resumes DAILY to every company he had even a remote desire to/possibility of working at. No offense, but if it takes your boyfriend 5hrs/wk to send out 5 resumes, I have no problem understanding why he got laid off. He is a lazy bum. Btw, my s-i-l has been shacked up w/ & supporting her loser, rarely employed boyfriend for 3 years. I hope you are not going to let yours mooch off of you, too. It doesn't matter that he is a "professional". What matters is whether he has a work ethic & whether he treats you well. He sounds like an abusive creep. Kick him to the curb or just leave - NOW! Please! Don't wait until he hits you, just freaking leave. What an &*?$%^#!
2007-02-24 07:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tom's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you work full time and lose your job, it is your NEW JOB to actively seek employment. This involves making contacts, updating resumes, putting in applications, researching companies...it really is full time work. It's a time consuming process. Your bf should be waking up each day as if he were going to work, getting online or getting out there doing something. With that being said, 8 hours a day sounds about right. That's a normal work shift.
2007-02-24 07:54:33 · answer #4 · answered by zimmiesgrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to define for all of us what you mean by "abuse" - because if you mean that in the physical sense (or a particularly vicious variety of the verbal kind), it's obvious what you need to do.
Assuming you don't really mean abuse in the worst senses...
Do you live together? Are you sure he can't maintain his present lifestyle much longer? It sounds like he's in no rush to find something new, which isn't itself unusual or a problem if he can maintain this way of living. Could he be reevaluating what he wants in his career - it sounds like he is being selective about what he is applying for at the very least, and this too isn't unhealthy.
It sounds like this could be as much a relationship issue as a finance issue. It sounds like you need to have a more basic discussion about where his mind is at; if all you're doing is getting on his case about not looking harder for a job, he's just going to withdraw more and more.
2007-02-24 07:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by venom9176 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he had a job he'd be putting in at least 40 hours a week. I don't know the circumstances of why he was laid off, but if his current lack of effort is any indication, maybe it's because he wasn't considered a valuable employee to begin with.
And when it comes to someone threatening you, it's time to leave. A deadbeat is bad enough, but an abusive deadbeat?
2007-02-24 07:53:25 · answer #6 · answered by jbean444 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋