do you think my book is good just by the first paagraph or do you think it sucks?

Question

Double Crossed

Amerrah is a girl who oves sports but is an outcast and has only one friend named erin. erin is a girl who is not active and has only one friend. they have both tried to kill each other but it only wrked for erin. erin actually killed her just for one little fight. im not gonna give too much away so you need to read the rest of the story so you know what happened.

ive already finished the book and so far 3 people have read it.

erin was walking down the street one day and someone walked up to her and said," do you want to be my friend." "sure."said erin. they were best friends ever since then. they wet every where together. one day they decided to join a tallent show but they got in a fight about what to do and amerrah slapped erin and erin ran away crying.

THESE ARE NOT THE EXACT FREAKING WORDS I AM JUST WRITING WHAT I FREAKING REMEBER FROM THE TOP OF MY FREAKING HEAD.

Answer 1

Considering your spelling mistakes and the fact that you gave a summary rather than a first paragraph (And even the summary was poorly written) I believe your story needs MUCH more work. A helpful way to get more reviews is to enter your story on Fictionpress.net, a site for original authors. There you can enter your story, chapter by chapter and gain reviews from other starting authors. Your starting paragraph that you just entered is very blunt, conversational, and uninteresting. It is as if you don't know what the word description means.

Answer 2

If you have written a book, is it written the same as you wrote your question? As a writer, I always use proper grammar and punctuation, even when writing emails to friends and especially when on this forum. Writing is a constant practice, and you as a writer need to practice as much as possible to become a better writer. People will assess your work more on how it is written than what is written. The reason for this is quite simple: if it doesn't look right, then it becomes annoying or difficult to read, and they end up giving up.

The basic rules of grammar and punctuation are not difficult to learn, understand, and apply. The best book that I have found to help with these matters is "Elements of Style" by E.B. White and William Strunk Jr.

If none of this applies (which is highly unlikely), you need to post sample chapters for people to read, not merely give a summary, unless the first few lines are a summary, in which case, you have a lot to learn. If you want to summarize events leading up to your story, write a prologue or preface, something that will bring the reader up to speed. The first chapter is not a summary, it's the first chapter of your story. Use it for that.

Another thing, what did the three people who've been given a copy of your work think of it? Who were they in relation to you?

Other than that, take some advanced writing classes if you can.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Not good. You're telling so much in just one paragraph, the first one at that. Also, don't describe Amerrah like you're trying to cram everything about her in only a few sentences. Characters should unfold slowly as the story progresses. Suggest don't tell. Hook the readers' curiousity to read more.
And I agree with the other guy, Amerrah is not a good name for a character. Nor is Erin. Try something more contemporary and common. Fictional characters need not be named too uniquely.

Answer 4

Really sucks. And I won't get into why that is because whenever you kids are told that you are not the next Hemmingway, you become angry and throw a tantrum. Apparently you are looking for ego-stroking. Apparently, most of you don't have the confidence in your own abilities (or lack of them in most cases) and you have to come here and ask a bunch of stranger what they think, most of whom will tell you you are wonderfully talented. Apparently that is very "in" today, to tell the talentless they have great talent, and when you don't tell them that, they throw a fit! hate American Idol but at least they are honest in most cases. Anyway, this indeed sucks! GingerNemises, I know who you are (you come here under various names and you are very transparent) and you have once again been reported. The jig is up!

Answer 5

It sounds ok but really I cant tell if it is a good or bad book unless i could get more into the story

Answer 6

Sounds like it sucks, do you know how many books there are out there ovber this same topic? and Amerrah? Try another name for the main character.

Answer 7

You should continue to practice your writing skills.

Answer 8

Hey Gingerpeachy! Suck Ma ****!