Anybody out there with depression?

Question

I know I have depression, I'm on meds, I've struggled with it for the majority of my life. Lately my depression has gotten worse, and I don't know if it just means it's time to up my meds or if it's life circumstances that are making me feel this way. I have a 1.5yr old, and have been married for almost 3 years. We don't fight, he's a great dad, he loves me, sex is ok, he works shift work, I work days, so we don't see each other much. In the past few months I've started questioning whether we should be married, or if we'd just be better friends. I find I'm pulling away from him, I don't let him get close to me, but I'll let other people get close. I've just ended a "friendship" with a guy that would be considered close to an emotional affair. Yes, that makes me sad, but that came after the feelings of an inadequate marriage. I need to know if anyone else with depression has been through this, and have you sabatoged your marriage, or how did you cope? I feel so self destructive

Answer 1

Shift work is really hard on a marriage. I, too, think you are in a rut. I'm proud of you for ending the "emotional" affair before it ruined your marriage. That shows what kind of person you are. Perhaps you guys just need to get away together and remember what it was that drew you to each other in the first place. Your life is busy: You work full time, your a mother and a wife and with a husband that works shift work, for part of the time, you are like a single Mom. You need to sit down with your husband and formulate a plan how you are going to improve your marriage. You need to open up to him. If you are not confiding in him, you are sabotaging your marriage. Marriage doesn't come with a manual, so you have got to tell your guy what your needs are and how you are feeling. Perhaps you do need to change your medication. Sometimes the drugs stop being as effective and you need to switch. Consult your doctor. Also, with feelings of depression, doing things for others can really help your spirits.

Answer 2

You are in a rut. That's all there is to it. You don't have to look elsewhere for the emotional affair, you need to look to your husband. Each week set some time apart for the two of you to meet up and just talk. You can make it a whole evening or maybe just that 15 minutes before you head off to bed. This way you know and he knows that the love is there and the opportunity for communication has not passed you bye. I've been "clinically depressed" for about 3 years and have never used Medication to cure it, that is just the "magic" pill that may make you forget it for awhile, but you know what, you're better off without it. You need to channel your energy into things that you like to do. Take up a hobby maybe two, throw yourself into your work or your child, take time out of the day for you, get a massage or a pedicure, pamper yourself and he will be more likely to pamper you too!

Answer 3

Yes, I sabotaged my first marriage by this happening. I did find out that I have dis-association disorder besides the depression. I am not able to have a healthy relationship with anyone. I remarried 5 years ago, and after 18 months, I couldn't handle all the problems we were having and asked for a divorce. I will not be looking for another relationship to get into. I have come to accept that relationships and marriage is just not for me. I have children from my first marriage, so I am not missing out on having a family. I keep busy, and I have a full time job that I find very rewarding. I am happy since I have had to face the facts that I am happier not being in a relationship.

Answer 4

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR STARTERS IS GET RIDE OF THE OTHER FRIENDS AND TAKE TIME TO MAKE YOU HUSBAND YOU FRIEND AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE SAD YOU LET THE OTHER GUY GO U DID THE RIGHT THING THE ONE THING THAT SHOULD MATTER MOST IS YOUR HUBBY & SON GET CLOSE TO THEM AND THE DEPRESSIO WILL GO AWAY AND YOU WONT NEED MEDS I USE TO BE JUST LIKE U AND ONE MORNING I WOKE UP AND SAIS TO HELL WITH THIS IM TAKING CHARGE OF MY OWN LIFE IM A STRONG WOMAN NOW THIS IS THE WAY I THINK NOW DONT WORRY ABOUT BILLS AND MONEY SITUATIONS THEY WILL STILL BE HERE TOMORROW WORRIES ARE WHAT CAUSES DEPRESSION YOU TAKE AWAY THE WORRYS YOU GET RIDE OF DEPRESSION SO TAKE MY ADVICE LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST LIVE LIKE EVERY DAY IS THE LAT LET YOUR HUBBY AND SON KNOW EVERY MIN OF EVERY DAY JUST HOW MUCH U LOVE THEM BECAUSE IF U DONT GET RID OF THE FRIENDS YOU COULD LOOSE THE RESPECT OF EVERYONE AROUND YOU

Answer 5

I dealt with depression nearly all of my life, and yes you will screw everything up truly believing that is what you want, but then you realize I'm still not happy. Depressed people are always looking for that one thing that is going to fix them while seeming to never find it. But true peace and happiness is within closer grasp than you could know in your state of depression. At the age of 34 I had had enough of that sad disfunctional life and screamed to God I want to be happy and I want to know how to achieve it. I had been in therapy and on meds for 11 yrs and nothing was working. Instead it seemed that the meds the doctors would put me on caused my depression to be worse. After I made that declaration to God for his help things seemed to come into my life that help me one step at a time to change my life for the better. The therapist that I had been seeing with my children at my request had been looking for something that would help me and one day she told me of this book about positive affirmations. I read it and took from it what felt like life to me, these 2 helped me a lot, Today I am beginning my spiritual journey to recovery, & I deserve to let great things happen in my life today. Not long after that we changed doctors and he put me on an anti anxity med and it helped me to control the self destructive thoughts that I had been having all my life. I started adding every positive thought I could think of to my daily affirmations and posting them on every wall in my house. It took ten months on that med and 3 yrs of the affirmatins to feel like I had really hit on some success at conquering my illness. The affirmations I used changed as my need for them changed. Its only been the last year or so that I feel like I am truly healed and know with no doubt that no matter what life throws at me I will not fall back into that life again. But what is truly keeping me well is spiritual growth, enlightenment & awareness. I create my life as I go while trusting in God to help me know at any givin time what I need to do in that moment. I'm always learning how to keep wholeness in my life, always watching for ways to stay grounded in my confidence to do anything I endeavor to do.

Answer 6

you are an enemy unto yourself, why should you let your depression take you away from those that care?
go see a good doctor or psychatrist and he will help you to treat that ghost of inadquancy in you.
you are a great creature of god and let the past or even the fear of future bring you down or rob you your happiness.
i will pray for you.