ARGH! Help!...???

Question

I have lately been having (I think they are) mental breakdowns. I can't control myself, I start sobbing and crying until I can't even breathe and I'm hyperventilating and coughing... I cry myself to sleep and I hate everything, (I THINK I may be a manic depressive..?), but I can't really control myself. I start crying, and I get mad at so many simple mistakes. I am so hard on myself, I'm always telling myself that I could have done better, and I always feel like I'm being judged and I hate myself. I can't even stand being in some of my classes b/c I feel like someone is always breathing down my neck and there is so much pressure to be perfect and get it right... Does anyone know what this is????

I posted this already, but got only four answers b/c the mental health section is dead.

It get worse with time, and it's been happening for about 5 months now... Before I was depressed, but now I don't know, It's getting so much worse!

Btw... a few years ago, I took pills, (Yes, proscribed by a doc), for depression, but they made me sick, I would have blackouts where I was still awake, but wouldn't remember anything, I felt like bugs were crawling on me, and I was very dizzy and light headed...

Answer 1

There could be many things contributing to your current situation. It sounds like it could be anxiety and maybe depression. The main point to think of is you need to seek a professional for help, you cant really diagnose someone over the net.

Answer 2

Strenuous course work will do that to you. You said " I can't even stand being in some of my classes b/c I feel like..."
Be Strong. The education process, much like the military, widdles you down to the core of your being. You are being flooded with tons of information, various assignments and deadlines all while enduring lack of sleep. You are probably not eating well because most students do not. Take vitamins and eat better.
You do NOT have to get it right all the time. Mistakes are welcomed. Why? Because you learn from them. The Educational environment is one of the few places where you can make mistakes and move on from them quickly. Give yourself a break.
Just accept that someone is breathing down your neck. In real life there will be plenty of people breathing down your neck: Bosses, wife, creditors, kids, co-workers, neighbors, bookies. How you deal with pressure in school will greatly determine how you deal with pressures in life. Learn to cope and roll with them.
You can repeat classes if you fail one. The new passing grade goes in its place. It's no big deal. It's just more time to go until graduation, that's all.
You seriously need to nurture yourself and quit yelling at yourself inside. Your body and mind are telling you they have had enough abuse. Your inner voice needs to be encouraging and motivational and not threatening and hurtful.

Answer 3

For starters...get a notebook and get busy documenting some of this for yourself. Rate your symptoms on scale of 1-10. Get it on paper to see how much of your day is really affected. Sometimes we have an outburst and then we feel so sorry for so long afterward...that by the time we let outselves stop processing that we start worrying it will happen again and a one or two day period can turn into weeks. You will need some of this basic information if it turns out to be something that needs to be diagnosed.

Second, take a look at your life. How much stress you got? I so over extended myself I was running on nothing but adrenaline and had pretty much the same symptoms you describe..it was like a friggin marry-go-round where some of the things I was doing were familiar (work/school) but it was so spinning so far out of control and so fast I couldn't process properly anymore. I was over tired, underfed, miserable and making mistakes...the mistakes seemed to fuel the fear that made it all spin even faster.... I had to take a couple days off (4 weeks in a row) just to get my bearings. I decided that if I was in intensive care somehow the world would go on without me. My aunt midge once said dont let anything compromise your mental health...its just not worth it. Think about all the pent up stress as toxins that have to be released from your system which is so overtaxed it can't keep up. Think about the emotional build up that creates hormones, nervous system responses and irrational thinking similar to a heavy drunk. You need to recooperate by cleaning out your body (eat right, get some sleep and some exercise). You get "sober" by getting some rest, fresh air, exercise, drink water, breathe deep. Its okay to hide away from the world for a day or two. Talk to someone at work or school (there is usually a liason, employee ombudsperson or counselor)....you dont have to give details but you can ask for some support to get the time off you need to decompress. Its a question of priorities...if you dont make it happen now something is going to give and you will find yourself sick or in the hospital (or worse). Listen the warning signs ---you are in the red zone--like your car its overheated and you need to get back to basics and take care of first things first until you get back to your old self. By the way, we can't STOP doing anything. So if you are trying to stop negative thinking, being depressed, obsession, crying, or hating....you can't. But you can start things. We all do. Make a plan. Start with some simple things like, if I start to have negative thoughts I will get up and walk around a chair...I know it sounds silly but its about empowering yourself and stopping the cycle early. Your best thinking isn't going to help you right now...your brain is on overdrive.....use your FEET. say this over and over FEET dont fail me now! and then smile...and let your feet take you for a walk, for a nap, to the park, away from the stresses, whatever they are. Say a prayer. If you dont believe in God, say one anyway, He believes in You.

Oh, and if you dont see any change or any relief after 4-5 days of really taking good care of yourself and resting, etc. please call a doctor you trust. Take someone with you. You don't have to make these decisions alone. They also dont have to be life altering...you might have something going on that is only temporary.....but find out.

Answer 4

You've been suffering for 5 months and posted this question before! Why don't you get medical help from the professionals if it is as bad as you say. What answers do you really expect from unprofessionals like us on line? If it is as serious as you make out - get offline and go see a doctor.

Answer 5

I can relate in a way, but not nearly to the intensity which you describe. You can only do what you can do. Don't look back on your decisions, just stay here in the present (deep controlled breathing sessions can assist here)

By the way, I absolutely adore your bird icon :)

Answer 6

Pills are a vicious cycle, you feel crappy once you stop taking them, Go excercise, take a sport and do yoga, physical activities are you best chance, try cheerleading!