My husband has a female friend whom he is "helping to get over "her abusive ex who is also his friend of 15 years. I am pregnant, emotional, and a little jealous of the phone conversations and her coming over to hang out with "us" when all they do is talk about common interests. Trust me when I say she is highly unattractive; however, female body parts are basically the same when the lights are out. She recently began working with him. I warned him that there are to be no friendly lunch dates but I'm sure there will be if there hasn't been already. I think he is being sincerly a nice friend to her but in her time of vulnerability she may mistake his intentions and fall for my husband. Then I will have to beat her down. But before it comes to that, any suggestions? Can they just be friends?
2007-02-24 04:52:33 · 14 answers · asked by seabreeze 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Possible, but honestly Hell NO. If a man has a women as a friend there are certain scenarios that had to happen. 1. He tried to sleep with her and she put him in the friend zone, which a man wouldn't keep as a friend because he can't get any. 2. He's gay. 3. He sleeping with her probably as your reading this. 4. He trying to get some and just hasn't got there yet. 5. He has already sleep with her and he found out that she is crazy and he is trying to back out slowly without needing bail money. Really when it all boils down to it, a man cannot have a female friend no matter how much he says or tries. We don't- can't just be friends with women, because when we look at a women the first things pops into our heads is (I would do her) or if she is ugly than (a mouth is a mouth). Hopefully your husband is one of the those dudes that can handle a woman as a friend. Good Luck
2007-02-24 05:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that is a big questions. I think that it is possible for a man and a woman to be friends....proper friends. Most men (myself included) need to be aware of the situations that they are putting themselves in. Your husband very well not be attracted to this woman or think of her that way at all...but if he keeps putting himself in situations where his morality could be compromised...then things could happen. What I would do is to sit down with him to have a serious conversation with no distractions. Trust me when I say that men dislike nagging, so a serious one on one talk is a must. Ask him first how much your feeling mean to him, to which he will probably say a lot. Then tell him that his actions with this woman is making you distrust him more and more, making you feel less and less important to him. That will get his attention. Tell him that you support him helping this woman, but properly. Explain to him that you dont think that he is making any moves on her (even if you suspect that he is), but that she may be interpreting that he is. Tell him that if he cared about how your security he would help her in more proper ways. Such as in groups or with you. If you want, tell him that he should want to only meet with you if he cared about your feelings and security. Explain to him that doing this will increase your trust with him and lower the nagging. Increased trust will promote a healthier relationship which will make the home happier, increase the spontinaity, the intimite moments between the two of you, etc... This was a long answer, but it is also a complicated question. I urge you not to go the common nagging route for women and to take time to look him in the eyes to be honest with him. Men need that, I believe. Hope this helps...please email me later to let me know how this advice worked out.
2007-02-24 05:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mark S. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In spite of what most people might think, yes, it is possible. I have 2 female friends who have been friends of mine for better part of 20 years now and and that's all we are is friends - no special privledges if you know what I mean and they are both quite attractive so it's not that they're so fugly I wouldn't touch them but it's more that they're almost like sisters in a way. I help them with some of their guy troubles and vice versa. Now I'd be lying if I said I absolutely never thought of boning them but it's only ever a fleeting thought and nothing has ever happened with either of them - not even when absolutley hammered drunk.
Now, I can't speak about your husband and his thoughts or intentions but it is possible that he's just being a good friend and a shoulder to cry on, so to speak. You have to trust him. Speak to him about your concerns but you shouldn't freak out on him yet.
Don't worry about him having lunch with her - there's really nothing you can do about it, so no point in sweating over it and aside from that if you forbid him from doing it - he'll probably be even more inclined to go - men are big kids and if you tell us we can't do something we'll do it to prove we can.
2007-02-24 05:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by velcroboy15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they can be friends however you are right in that she may fall for him because he helped her get over her ex, and so transfers her feelings from her ex to your husband.
At the moment theres not much you can do as shes probably still fragile.
Try spending time with her just the two of you, like get her to come help get stuff for the baby.
Get to know her more and then hopefully she wont feel it was just your husband that helped her but both of you.
Plus you may not feel so left out when its the three of you, coz you two will then have your own little inside jokes etc.
2007-02-24 05:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by x_kimmy87_x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's ugly, then hopefully you didn't marry a guy with low standards.
Keep an eye on things. It's hard to tell which side is which. Maybe have a friend do a bit of eavesdropping?
Also, I hear a metal bat is nice for beating someone with, but I'm not an expert in blunt weaponry.
2007-02-24 04:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by Mega64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i PURRFCTLY undrstnd ur problem. 2 answr ur 1st questn... NO a but a man woman can NVR justt b friends. I may sound old fashioned. but its true. A man always seeks out.. like it or not. Women...across the world are "givers" they give out everythn 4 their true love. Be it america or india. Human beings are the same. So is suspicion. They all suspect, n rightly so. My advice is, pl kp n eye open for more indicators.. like perfume, lipstick mark, he comng home late or feeling extr tired. Take care, god bless u baby.
2007-02-24 05:00:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
now thats quite a difficult one, i have alot of male friends who i've become close to and it always turns out they like me! if you spend too much time with one person feelings do develop as you feel you know the person really well etc i think you need to ask your husband where his prorities lie, after all you are pregnant and need the support more, his friend however can get professional help, you cannot, its not nice to go through pregnancy alone.
2007-02-24 05:01:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I have plenty of friends that are women, that I wouldn't touch with a 30 foot pole, let alone my junk. Sometimes, its more fun to hang out with women than men. Give your man a break!
2007-02-24 04:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by KC Slim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DISAGREE! i'm MARRIED and that i have an huge guy pal. WE BEEN pals for nearly 10 YEARS . WE by no potential DID something SEXUAL the completed TIME I KNEW HIM. I ADMIT we are no longer AS close because I were given MARRIED yet WE nevertheless communicate and could continually keep in contact
2016-10-17 08:50:22 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't trust it. But at the very least, he is trying to be open about the friendship. Keep a sharp eye on the situation..
2007-02-24 04:57:29 · answer #10 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋