Knife's are falling all around, with you dodging up and down, then you think is there any point dodging when my life is'nt worth living, then you stop and the knifes stop falling,then you move and then there again! Life is so confusing,when you stop choosing, then by surprise one hits you from the side, as you lay there in pain no one cares for you, but yourself in vain. Your friend walks in and sees you there all they can do is stop and stair, slowly but surely they start breaking down, in deep despair!
Please read the rest of my poems!
2007-02-24 04:30:17 · 26 answers · asked by Katja ie tattybow 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
(I'm 13) And im just a bit upset at the moment!
2007-02-24 04:38:35 · update #1
Here is another poem:
As the people pass me by, no one can hear my cries, I am lonely with all the cares in the world, but no one can see me, I sit there and wonder wether it's worth being in pain, with no one to care but yourself in vain!
2007-02-24 04:41:43 · update #2
This was all my own work
2007-02-24 04:59:39 · update #3
Why do you have to say go kill yourself! It gives me idea's!
2007-02-24 17:30:49 · update #4
If you are in such emotional pain, and despairing so much, you need help to handle your emotions.
Please see your family doctor as soon as possible, and tell him the truth of your horrendous mood swings. You need a trained therapist to help you through the minefield your mind has become.
Don't forget that your body has just recently begun to be flooded with all kinds of hormones it's not used to handling. The cause of your problems may be as simple as a hormone imbalance. Allow your doctor to find out if this may be so.
Good luck, honey. Remember, it is only stupid to NOT seek help when life overwhelms us.
2007-02-24 05:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I admire what you are doing. I sense you have a disturbed mind at the moment, may be it's a part of growing up. 13 can be a tough time you are not a child and you are not quite an adult.
When my daughter was 13 she went through a rebellious period for about 2 years. She took up poetry to vent her feelings and it helped her enormously. Her poems were published in her school and local papers. It made her feel good. Today she is 20 and studying English at university. When under pressure she writes down what she is feeling and that for her is therapeutic.
What you are doing is excellent, keep it up. However, if you think the pressure is getting too much for you, talk to someone you can trust about your feelings.
As for your poems, yes, they are very good.
2007-02-28 02:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by barnowl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok wtf is that. Thats like saying yay lets slit our wrist. I only read the first line stopped and wrote this. I know an amazing writer who is a very good friend of mine and she's had a tough life. And yet unlike your writing she doesn't bring that up alot. In other words your not the only one who ahs issues so STFU. If your really sad just go kill yourself and get it over with I can't astand how people today complain so much. It's ***** ***** ***** and yet no one does anything.
2007-02-24 17:23:08 · answer #3 · answered by Mike C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your poem has some good rhyme and rythm,... but your cries for help are another story... I hope you will take these poems of yours to a good counselor/ therapist immediately! It sounds like you need to talk to someone you trust and the sooner the better! Good luck !
2007-02-24 04:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably ought to rhyme notwithstanding it needs to hit my thoughts. i imagine clarity of expression is significant besides. i do not pick to second wager what i'm interpreting about. I continually search for what I time period "poetic gem stones"interior the textual content.
2016-12-04 21:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes that poem is very good...depressing, but good! I think you should sort out the structure - which would make it easier to read. If you are 13 then you should talk to someone, but nice poem! =)
2007-02-25 11:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your poems are expressing your feelings. You are really unhappy, I feel so sorry for you. However, poetry is a very good outlet to express your feelings. I just wish they were happy feelings in your case.
You should really try to speak to someone to help you. You sound like you do need a Physical human to turn to, and help you.
I have written many poems, and they are beautiful, but sad. I know where you are coming from. So please please, talk to someone.
2007-02-24 07:05:51 · answer #7 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The image of the knives has potential, if you polish it up. (No pun intended.)
Focus on your concrete imagery & delete repetition and any other unneccessary words. Decide where you want your lines to break, and don't try to use rhyme without meter. Try to express one idea vividly, rather than cramming several in together.
2007-02-24 06:28:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Good Lord! cheer up Tatty Bow,but well written:0)
2007-02-24 04:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's nice and you have a good concept, but you need to look back at your spelling and my only other problem with the poem is that it seems...forced. It is nice though and I like it.
2007-02-24 04:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by Audrey Rose 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋