Question from an unmarrried woman to the husbands out there about proposing...?

Question

I'm in a great relationship, and I really believe we are marriage bound. We're both college students and work hard for modest salaries. We've been dating for almost a year now (our anniversary is in April) but we've known eachother for almost 2 years and started out as really great friends. I know he wants to marry me; we've already talked about the subject several times, living situations, even children's names. He's even bought me a beautiful promise ring (5 cubic zirconia stones set in silver), which I know may seem silly in the married world (or not I hope) but it means a lot to me, and he wears a silver band on is ring finger that I bought for him. So it's almost like we're engaged. But my question is, how long did you wait to ask your wives to become your wives? What did you wait for? Did you wait until you were able to support her completely finanicially? Or was she willing to work, and you got married sooner? Any answers would be greatly appreciated!

Just to give an even more detailed picture, he told me about 2 weeks ago that he is going to start introducing me as his fiance. He already has once, but he hasn't officially proposed yet. He tells me he loves me every time I see him (which is only school days) and usually more than once a day. We have a very passionate sex life, and we have a lot of fun together. We also support eachother in hard times; I-him when he needs it, and him-me when I need it. We are so great for eachother and we want to do so much together that would be easier to do as a married couple I believe. I'm not in a hurry, and I would never pressure him, but it's so suspensful right now. I feel like he's just waiting for the right moment, but I don't know what he's waiting for; I know he can't afford another ring right now, but he also knows that I don't care about material things. Any more input in your answers would be quite helpful. Thank you!

Answer 1

Your situation sounds exactly like mine. I am in a wonderful, perfect relationship. We talked about getting married and both wanted too! He bought me a promise ring and I wore it for 3 years until he finally asked me. We were engaged on Christmas Day of 2006. When I asked him why we waited so long he told me he wanted to make sure we were financially stable enough to have the perfect future. I waited 3 years, and I am the most impatient person in the world. Please just be patient and when the time is right he will ask. I know it is hard but it is worth it in the end! I am sure that he is waiting for a good reason and he has your best interest in mind.

Answer 2

Look, What you have to realize that so many that are married already do know,is it isn't so important that you are married, as it is just knowing you have a good relationship and being content with that.
Women will admit that most times they desire to get married for the purpose of finalization, like it makes them feel that much more secure about the whole thing.In truth nothing can make you secure with anything but yourself and how you view things in your own mind.Not a ring and not marriage.I know you think this is the one and so does he, and that just may be so but the more you focus on the superficial end of things and less on the relationship its self, the less likely its going to get the right growth.
Look, I know you think you have been together long enough but the longer you wait the better.Get your college stuff done get your jobs and you both save up money for the things you want and work at them goals together.live together a little while and both keep your jobs to better insure that financial issues will not ever be a burden.Once you are both content and desiring to build a family together,go get married and invite friends and family that matter.Don't spend tons of money on a day that is only one in the rest of your lives together,save that money to enjoy as a family.With all this done, you will have alot less chance of failing as a loving married couple.

Answer 3

Just tell him that you are confused. Tell him you want him to make it official if he is going to introduce you as a fiance. Maybe he is scared to propose...stage fright or something. All he has to do is ask...it doesn't have to be a big production. But really, you need him to clarify if he goes around introducing you like that. Also, you need to nail down a date and start setting goals as a couple if he is serious. Marriage is serious and is nothing to treat lightly. You want to get the best start possible. If you wind up being engaged, you should tell your family and friends and start going to premarital counseling.

Answer 4

I never proposed. My wife and I were in our late thirties when we met; she came down to visit me after we first met (we lived in different states) and there was never any question about marriage-we knew we were to be together the rest of our lives. I pledged myself to her on my chanupe (sacred Lakota pipe) and a couple of weeks later we went down to the JP. Come to think of it, I have never gotten around to getting her an engagement ring...and that was 18 years ago.

Answer 5

For me, I waited for about three years. I wanted to wait until I graduated college and got started in my career. With all that set, THEN I popped the question.

Answer 6

I would say just tell him that you want to get married

Answer 7

a day or so
ask
ask again
start with
when do you think we might invite our friends
what is the best date
would we invite our kids to our wedding so they would invite us to their wedding??

Answer 8

more you think,more u loose.regarding marriage,thumb rule is -do it fast without thinking anything

Answer 9

Just ask him!