can i take my mother to court to find out info that only she knows about my real father?

Question

my mum had some kind of relationship with my father( her neighbour) but after telling me his name and that he died a few years ago, she then refused to tell me any more, ive tried all kinds and found out he didnt die when she said but i dont know if he is alive, but even if he is dead there are other members of his family id like to meet.

thanks for so many sensible replies.
yes ive tried ppivate detective, but my father seems to have vanished a long time ago without trace. his parents lived in the same house for years, before i was born, right up until 2 years before i started to look for people, then i found out they lived next door to my best friends grandparents, so id been right next door loads of times.
ive asked my brothers who are 14 & 15 years older and should remember but they too refuse to tell me anything.
ans as for saving a relationship with my mum, we dont have one, that died a long time ago, i was an unwanted pregnancy and she only kept me to please her new partner. but still im determined to no the truth, its my right to know who i am.

and the salvation army can only trace a person if you have enougth details, all i have is the name peter brown, no age, just 1 previous address. i dont live local anymore so ive been through the p browns in the phone book and placed an advert in the local paper.

Answer 1

How about trying this link? http://www1.salvationarmy.org.uk/familytracing

I don't know of any legislation which could force a person to disclose information of this kind. At least you have a name, an approximate date and a neighbourhood to guide you in your search. If I were investigating this, I would try the register of births and the register of deaths to see where this got me. http://genealogy.about.com/cs/vitaluk/index.htm

Answer 2

Sue your mother? You are already one parent short, if you take her to court, you may not have her either. Also there is no way that she can be made to tell you anything truth or otherwise about your father. There is no way that a court can know if she is telling the truth. Don`t do it. She obviously isn`t going to tell you what you want to know, if she hasn`told you up to now, you must accept that you may never know. I was in a similar position with regard to my mother, my parents divorced when I was very young and my father refused to tell me anything at all about my mother. Don`t count on the fact that she may tell you on her death bed either, my father would not tell me, despite the fact that I nursed him through a long illness before he died. You may be destined to go through your life, only ever feeling half a person, if you can accept this it is not so bad. However I do hope she relents.

Answer 3

i think you should think hard about this, if you did take your mother to court it is possible she would lie and you would gain nothing.
no one can make someone talk if they do not want to. it could also irrevocably harm your relationship with your mother. while you may feel that it could not get worse at the moment you may feel differently in a few years time. I think you may do better by trying to speak to her calmly and explain that while you recognise that this man obviously hurt her badly he is still your flesh and blood and you need for your own understanding to know what he was like and a few details of his life. maybe your mother is afraid that if she tells you. you will go to him and not come back. have you also tried a private detective expensive i know but perhaps no more so than court and less antagonising between the two of you

Answer 4

Why is your mum withholding information from you like this? It is important for you to know everything about your father as it well help you learn more about yourself! Have you told her how hurtful it is that she is keeping this information from you? I'm not sure what the courts could do? They can't read her mind so there is no way of telling whether she is telling the truth or not. Unfortunately there is no way of ever knowing unless he is alive and you can somehow track him down... Sorry xx

Answer 5

it would be a waste of your time and the courts....there is no way to prove what she does or does not know.....and if she is adamant about not telling you anything then all she has to do is deny that she even knows anything

Answer 6

There is no legal way to get her to tell you anything. She seems to enjoy having power over you .

Answer 7

I would hire a private investigator rather than try to sue your mom.

Answer 8

NOT SURE IF YOU CAN TAKE HER TO COURT,THAT SEEMS A BIT DRASTIC, SHE MUST HAVE SOME GOOD REASONS FOR NOT TELLING YOU ABOUT HIM.JUST KEEP NAGGING HER SHE MAY RELENT AND TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO KNOW.

Answer 9

if you know his name then try the electer role
or goto the records office

Answer 10

ask your solicitor its going
to cost money going to
court good luck any way