im 18 and pg, but my mom kicked me out?

Question

my mom kicked me out because she doesnt like my bf, i dont no why, he is respectful,hes got a job,his own house and has never done anything to hurt me. i really love my mom and when i ask why she doesnt like him, she cant get a reason why, my mom nos that im pg, and i really just want to go home, but i really love my bf, and i dont want to leave him, im currently living with my bf's parents and him cuz his house is beimg re-painted, but what should i do??

Answer 1

talk to your mom again and tell her how you feel about everything, and tell her how you feel about your boyfriend. and how you feel about her, tell her that you love her no matter what . and you respect her for what she saying. but you are a big girl and you have to learn by your mistakes. and all you want is her to be in your life. good luck.

Answer 2

I think that the most likely reason your mom doesn't care for your boyfriend, is simply because (regardless of your age) you are and always will be her little girl. The idea that she has to accept that you've gained so many adult responsibilities in so little time is frustrating for a mom to have to see their daughter go through and can throw off parental perspective in a really bad way, leading to the blow out that ended up with you no longer being home.

Perhaps explaining to your mom, that while you understand that you getting pregnant may not have fit into her dreams for you at your current age, that it is the reality of things now, and that while you understand her being upset, it's very important to you AND YOUR BOYFRIEND that she be part of her new grandchild's life. Let her know that you also understand that while she loves you, that you can see why she was upset about the order and speed of things, and that placing all her anger toward the father of her grandchild can hurt things in the long run, and you really don't want that.
If your mom is the type of mom that has a very hard time letting you get everything you need to say out, then maybe a letter mailed to her, with an invitation to meet you for lunch to talk about the future of things (focusing on what has already happened will not help anybody out after all) together. Leave the next move to her.

I also suggest running this idea past your boyfriend's parents and see if maybe they'd like to do something to help to get to know your parents better, since they are now connected through this situation and will be around one another for a very long time if they all hope to be a healthy part of their grandchild's life.

It's become your job now to ensure that you can glue everyone together into a family unit before your baby comes, even if it means eating some crow.

Showing the effort to your mom might make all the difference in the world and help her to understand that maybe you are more grown up than she is giving you credit for, and even if she doesn't come to that understanding, she will at least know that you realize the responsibilities that are involved in keeping family ties strong, and will more likely than not... respect you for your efforts.

Answer 3

Your mom doesn't like your boyfriend because he has no interest in being your husband, the head of your household, the legal support of your child (his too, by the way, but he's acting like that can be dealt with on a day-to-day basis). He's got a job - gee, I would think that would be a minimum requirement to be able to put food in his own mouth, let alone yours and a child's. By not marrying you and committing to a life with you and the child that you BOTH created, he keeps his options open so HE knows he can walk out at any time without his net worth being affected. His house may be a place for you, temporarily, but he doesn't want you to have a share of it (which you would have if you were his wife.)
Honestly, you are headed for trouble because of what is missing in that relationship, not what you consider to be 'bad' stuff in a relationship - is it such a fantastic achievment on this guy's part that he has 'never hurt you'?
You know all this but you are just not dealing with it. The trouble with teen moms and live-in relationships in general is that young women (and older ones too) have such low self-esteem and ask so little beyond just kindness, some loving and no kicks in the butt. This is also what you will showing your child and that's not good either.
You say you are staying with your bf's parents. No doubt they treat you well. They probably recognize that their son has his own self-interest held high above yours and they're probably not surprised. But if I were his mother, I'd smack him hard and tell him to marry the mother of his child and grow up.
Lose the desire to go home unless you're willing to admit all the above about this guy. Your mother knows it, his parents know it, and he knows it. With a little bit of effort, you will know it, too. Your mom just knows he'll be the deadbeat dad if you are living in her home - she will have taken you 'off of his hands' and you won't be a problem to him anymore.]
Sounds like your mother is having a painful time because it's never easy to force this kind of lesson. I don't think she's doing this just because of the lesson part - she knows the long-term consequences of this relationship and so do you.

Answer 4

You should grow up and be responsible for your actions. You are lucky that you have a roof over your head and food to eat. Get in contact with your local public aid office and start shouldering your responsibilities. Your mom right now probably feels that she has failed you and although she loves you and will love your baby, she needs some breathing room. It is not her responsibility to raise your child, and she has already raised you. Make her proud and do a great job being a mom! And let your bf be a great dad! You can't please everyone all of the time, so you have to make the choices that you can live with and be at peace with.

Answer 5

Well, I think that perhaps your mom is a bit upset that you are pg. Maybe she sees it as his fault and that is why she doesn't like him. He took away her baby-you. No matter how old you are, you are always your mom's little girl. Try to understand her side, and tell her how you feel. Are you and your bf going to get a place of your own? The most important thing right now is to take care of yourself and baby. Your mom will come around.

Answer 6

Well, I'm glad you're 18 and not 15 or 16!! Has your boyfriend ever really talked with your mom? I bet your mom is just upset that a baby is coming before marriage. BUT...I think she should be supportive, mentally, for you. I mean, life is too short to shun your family. A baby??? Babies are a gift. Just be sure to put yourself and your baby first. Take good care of yourself and realize that you are responsible for this little life. That's the main thing. DURING this time, you could try and talk with your mom and let her know you love her and would love her support. A first baby can be a scary thing, but be with the people that support you. ALso, thank your boyfriends parents for letting you stay. That's nice of them. JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Answer 7

Are you sure that's the reason your mom kicked you out? I understand that you love your boyfriend and all but you need to be with family right now. Your mom might be taking it hard that you got pregnant & doesn't knoe exactly how to take it. I thibk you & your mom should have a sit-down talk & work things out. Wish you & the baby the best.

Answer 8

Hey there, u poor thing.Is your mum and dad together? im guessing not as u said she kicked u out, maybe u r also her only child? She could be feeling rejected , unloved ,not needed, after all u r so big and clever now u can make life u r not HA! she dosnt need me... could be how mum is feeling.i bet u r her everything and she is having a meltdown and its not your fault...Maybe u need to be strong and let her know u r not going anywhere, u r still the same person, and u hav to have to stick it out as she obviously isnt thinking clear.Try and visit, send a letter, say u need her..Yes u shouldnt hav to but it may help turn the switch in her mind that thinks u dont love her like u used to when u were 10.
All the best, Nik

Answer 9

after reading your question, i was confused as to why your mom wouldn't like him either, but hey, my mom doesn't always like my fiance...i think it's just a "mommie thing". but then i read reese50's answer to your question, and i just wanted to tell you that she is the dumbest girl i have ever read an answer from on here. you did not ruin your life. so you may not be physically or emotionally or even financially ready for a baby, but by no means did this baby ruin your life. i'm 21 and i'm 27 weeks pregnant with my first baby and not once have i thought of my little girl as something that ruined my life. if anything, she has made me stronger and a better person. and i also live with my fiance's parents, and i understand the wanting to go home part...trust me, i'm two states away from my parents, but sometimes if you stay away from your mom long enough, she'll want you to come back home. she'll miss her baby and she'll welcome you with open arms. after being away from home now for 4 years and being as far away as texas (from georgia), my mom finally realized that she wants her baby girl home. i wish you luck with your pregnancy, and don't ever think of your baby as a mistake, and i wish that you could just be patient and wait for your mom to come around. until then, just relax, don't stress yourself out (that's the last thing a growing baby needs) and just let your wonderful boyfriend pamper you...you deserve it afterall!! best wishes!!

Answer 10

You are an adult now and a Mom too, it is time to get out in the world and make your own way in the world. Your boyfriend has his own house, just enjoy your family. I hate to say it but, your Mom did the right thing she wants you to do well for that baby, and she pushed you to grow up and raise the baby.

Answer 11

Honey your Mom's probably just upset cause you're not her little girl anymore and maybe not thrilled at the idea of being a Grandma. Probably makes her feel old. You don't need to worry about her right now. Just take care of yourself and that little baby growing inside you. She'll come around when she's ready, just let her know that she's hurt you and that you want her to be a part of your pregnancy.