my husband has been sending text messages to this woman?

Question

and when i ask him he gets all defensive ad says i dont trust him at all i am wondering if i should call her and ask her what her about her relationship with my husband what do u think

Answer 1

I would call her. But she may or may not tell you the truth. Maybe they have been flirting and it hasn't been physical YET, but she may tell you it has gone further to cause problems in your relationship to strengthen thiers. Or it my already be physical and she says it is not because she doesn't want to make your husband mad. Only you know if your husband is lying and it is up to you if you are strong enough to work thru it.

Answer 2

If the texting makes you uncomfortable, your husband should respect that. If he can't let you see the messages, that would be very suspicious. People who get defensive usually have something to hide. I would be too chicken to call the other woman, but if you have the guts, do it. She might not know he's married. Just be careful how you say things, so you don't make the situation worse. Tell her you're concerned and just trying to find out the facts. It could be like "Meet the Parents" where he's planning a surprise for you and the secrecy turns out to be not so mysterious after all. Well, I wouldn't bet on that, but you never know.

Answer 3

I don't think calling her is going to answer your question. The answer is right in front of you. If he gets all defensive, that is a sign of guilt. You should stick to asking him the questions, she is probably an innocent party that doesn't even know there is someone else in his life who she is taking part in hurting. Give him the altamatam, either he tells the truth and stops the behavior, or you need to find yourself a new life that doesn't bring you pain or insecurity. He's up to no good.

Answer 4

What is the nature of the messages? If your instinct tells you it's not on the up and up then try talking to him one more time. Sit him down - DON'T go in looking for a fight - keep your voice low and say something like this:

"I know we've talked about this, but I am still losing sleep over it. I love you and want to trust you, but this situation seems odd to me and I feel like you aren't being open. Please be honest with me - tell me if there is something going on between you and this woman - or if you want there to be - and then we can decide how to deal."

If he responds unreasonably and you feel that calling her is your only alternative, then try it. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

Don't trust him...what typically starts as innocent and friendly always snowballs in a bad direction. Men and women really can't be plutonic friends, they're always some sexual tention involved. Its only natural for people to lose control. Remember what Chris Rock says...(its true) a Man is only faithful as his options. He can stop chasing it, but he'll need rehab if its thrown at him. I know from experience. I'm a guy and telling you to get control of the situation if you value your marriage. Establish boundries of acceptable behavior...if not it will go bad.

Answer 6

SOunds familiar. My husband had over 500 txt mesgs and over a 100 phone calls in one billing statement to this woman, but 'they were just friends'. I called her and she said the same thing. Later i found out that they had been sleeping together for 6 months. If he is doing somethin wrong, he wil never admit it. And neither will she. Does he delete those msgs? My husband did. My bill revealed the msgs, but his phone always had nothing on them. Just stay on your toes and be aware. I hope he aint cheating on you. Good luck

Answer 7

Sounds like he isn't trustworthy. If you can afford it, get a private investigator on it. It could be that she doesn't know that he's married, so calling may work. Some guys are so deceitful that they claim that they're not married. I think if I found anything out, I'd find someone else who "really" cared about me. Been there and done that, and all this can lead to is unhappiness for you!

Answer 8

My husband was doing the same thing. I asked-he lied. I took his phone, turned on the silent, and hid it. He had to go to work, was already late, and I offered to "look for it" After he left, I texted this "woman friend" and told her (from my husband ofcourse), that I was having problems with my phone, and I hope she gets this message now.. and if she would e-mail me...The email I gave - a new one I made, showing my husbands name. She emailed, and "we" emailed, for 3 hours, and I found out the truth! He told her he loved, her, wanted to be with her, and was only staying with me cause of our kids. The entire time, she thought I was my husband. I confronted my husband, we fought, and we are now divorced. I did tell him. If you tell me the truth right now, I will forgive you and we can work it out. This is your only chance..He ofcourse lied. I have the kids, house, etc,. with all the copie of the "emails" I gave to my attornedy, I got a great settlement!

Answer 9

Confront him, not her. Get proof and put it all out there. Do not let him talk his way out of it. Tell him you are ready to call this woman and invite her over for dinner. Do not delay, take action as soon as possible or this will go on. Demand the love and respect that you deserve.

Answer 10

i would talk to him, say if it is nothing why haven't i met this woman, and tell him that you want to trust him but it would be easier if he were more upfront about his relationship with her. are they work mates? what kind of relationship do they have? if it is a work related situation why hasn't he told you why they are texting. it sounds very suspicious, and you have every reason to question this relationship. if he won't try to give a reasonable explanation , then by all means you should question her about the relationship.