I have a letter I composed to send to my Father which points out several incidents of physical and psychological abuse he caused as i was growing up. This letter does NOT contain any threats of physical harm, illegal activity or profanity. In this letter I rebut his denial of these events which he flat out denies. He has accused my mother and uncle of planting these images in my head and i want to send him a letter to impeach his denial. Can he press harassment charges? He has NOT made any statements that i should not contact him.
2007-02-24 02:43:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, as long as you are not sending letters on a regular basis it is not considered harassment. In fact, most therapists will actually recommend that a victim write a letter to their abuser. It can be great therapy. After this letter however stop contact! Happy healing.
2007-03-02 02:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by sassypants_911 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your questions about the letter - which is not harrassment or something altogether different?
It's difficult to grow up and learn that your parent/s are not perfect - it happens to us all. There are things my parents refuse to acknowledge to this day, pain in my life as a result of their imperfections. I learned that it is up to me to come to terms with my experience as a child and the treatment that I received. Some therapists say it's good medicine to confront your ghosts.
My experience is that no matter how hard I try, I can't get my parents to admit to the hurt they caused me.
What I did succeed in doing is feeding my own anger and frustration causing everyone more pain.
We all have that strange inner need to be affirmed. We want to hear 'Yes, you're right, I was horrible'. We want our parents to acknowledge their failures.
I believe we all generally try to do the best we know how with and for our children. Some have more tools to accomplish this than others.
When I confronted my parents I drove a wedge between us that will likely never be repaired. I wonder sometimes if the gain (which is the satisfaction of hurting them - and unfortunately myself along with them) is greater than the loss - even the initial loss (their mistreatment).
Truly, what has happened in the past is in the past. Unless the relationship continues to be an unhealthy one (whereas I would advise minimum contact) then you have a choice to make. What will you gain, what is more important to you and why?
When you answer this question, you will have the answer that is right for you in your situation.
Good Luck.
2007-03-02 20:17:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you do send it he will probably always think that he never harmed you in anyway. I'm assuming telling him in person has not helped so that would not be a good suggestion. I would make a copy of this letter and keep it in your personal records just in case he decides to press harassment charges. Re-read it thoroughly just to make sure there are no threats in there. If he does read the entire letter though he will probably still find ways to convince himself that he is totally innocent. But it still might work I have no idea.
I hope this helped. Good luck.
2007-02-24 03:12:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When in doubt seek the advice of a lawyer who field is abuse. He better thank God that you are not pressing charges against him, you know what he did to you was against the law. I know how you must be feeling, the same thing happened to me, it started when I was only 5 and my own mother did not believe me, when I finely told her about it, he continued messing with me every chance he got even when I was in my twenties, he never was punished for what he did to me, he died in his late fifties and so did my mom. I still have nightmares about it but not as often as I use too. your not in this alone there are others who are on your side. If it will make you feel better to send him your letter and give you peace of mind, I say GO FOR IT, ONE LETTER IS NOT HARASSMENT! If he tries to press harassment charges on you, you bring a law suit and charges against him for physical and psychological abuse not only will he have to pay for the damages he has done to you, he will go to jail also.
2007-03-03 15:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by catscraddle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But you've made your attempt, now let it go. If you continue writing him then it can be considered harrassment. He knows where you stand. Now the next move is up to him. Unfortunately you can't change people, and this may be a situation that may never be resolved. But you've made your peace, now give it to God. Just move on with your life. Just yesterday, I heard a pastor on t.v. say that to fight back when someone has hurt us is just plain ridiculous. The worst thing we can do to those people is to persevere. To grow, and to thrive and to become healthy, successful, well rounded human beings. I personally believe that there is a lot of wisdom in that.
2007-02-24 02:48:19 · answer #5 · answered by almostcrazee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't be able to press charges against you, but I think that the healing process begins with you. I decided to write one of my family members a long time ago, and because they weren't ready to admit to causing me any of the pain that they caused me, they DIDN'T. The letter was taken out of context, and they used my words to villify me. I'm not suggesting that that's going to happen to you, but you need to be able to forgive your father regardless of rather he chooses to admit to causing you the pain that he has caused you so that you can move on.
2007-03-03 03:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by Sue G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you say, composed, that means you haven't sent it. If I'm right on that, I'd tell you, GO AHAID AND MAIL IT. It's always OK to speak ones Mind.
After you've sent letter, yes, turn it over to God, he will help you get over this
and give you piece of Mind.
By doing this action it will help free you.
2007-03-03 03:57:33 · answer #7 · answered by SwissAK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he would be to embarrassed to show it to police without them thinking he was a perv. Keep in mind the letter is probably for you, for your own self healing, not for him, pour out everything don't hold anything back. write down everything you feel and think the pain you endured. the years you've suffered because of him. do not take his feeling into consideration at all about anything, he is a worthless piece of human debris, who deserves to suffer, if only with words.....................
2007-03-02 22:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a suggestion for you:
Invite all of your family members from both side (Mom & Dad), confront your father in front of every one and tell him everything you have been holding on your chest.
Individuals like your father deserve exposure.
2007-03-03 03:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Abby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send the letter.first make a copy of it,you have the right to say how you fell to put some closer on him and the abuse..after words go forward with your life.dwelling on this will poison you for ever.and then you carry it on to your children,and be the father he wasn't..
2007-03-03 05:23:27 · answer #10 · answered by tysgrandma99 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋