i no it sounds confusing heres an example. i fancy a girl and work hard to try and make her like me then she likes me i want a girl even further out of my legue. this is an ongoing cycle preventing me from getting close with girls. but i also have this problem in other areas of my life for example i get a good mark in my exam and i want better.
does any one know of this problem how to solve it, or any information about it
2007-02-24 01:51:17 · 5 answers · asked by jake T 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Hello,
Jake, if you find that you're never satisfied with achieving what you thought you wanted, in many areas of your life, then you're not really looking for the things or people you think you are. You're seeking something else entirely. Many people try to fill a void, an emptiness, a "lack" of something inside themselves with material things or other people, then feel no better after winning that auction, finding that bargain, getting that new item, or dating that new person. That's because what they're seeking can only truly come from within themselves. I would guess that on some level, you have a problem with self-esteem, possibly depression, or that you have been or felt you have been "deprived" of something earlier in your life. Most likely, that something is some sort of validation of your worth or value as a person. So, you seek external gratification to fill that need, but as you've found, that's not enough. I would encourage you to seek out a qualified counselor or therapist and discuss this issue with him/her. Only when you can learn to fulfill that internal emptiness from within yourself, and gain or re-gain a sense of your own worth, will you be able to stop using "things", events, or other people to try and artificially fill that "hole". Good luck.
2007-02-24 02:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by andromedasview@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as your career goals are concerned I think that is a good attribute to have.Just remember that you have to take steps to get to the top. Learn all you can from each experience and strive to excel at each level. However, people are different. They shouldn't be something you get then toss aside to look for the next step up. I would hope that you can take a look at the person and take the time to get to know them, their personality, life experiences and make your decision from there. It's not right for you to play games with peoples emotions. Chasing them, getting them and tossing them once you've accomplished your goal is just wrong. Try dating people that you find interesting for reasons other than their social status. I think you will find that you've wasted alot of time playing games with yourself and others. Always do your best in all that you do and you can consider yourself a success. Also, wouldn't a good relationship be considered an acheivement in your life? I hope you find what you are looking for and will one day be content with yourself and your life.
2007-02-24 02:07:24 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can give you a better reply than Andromedasview below. I am in total agreement with what he has replied. Fulfil your own emptiness first before you can move on.
2007-02-24 02:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by MaggieSA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called bein human. But you should be able to find a book on somethin.
2007-02-24 01:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then you are doomed, for an unhappy life.
2007-02-24 01:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by PrettyEskimo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋