Help, how can I ask/tell my fiance to loose weight?

Question

I've been with my now fiance, 'J', for five years and I love him to bits. However, I'm very worried about his health due to his weight. He's always been a bit on the chubby side...but only in the stomach area. J's all muscle in his arms, legs and back. However, his weight worries me, especially as it's centered in his gut. How can I ask/tell him to loose weight? He has an enlarged heart and I'm worried about the effects this extra weight can have on him, especially in the future (stroke, etc). He does akido occassionaly which is good, but that's about it.
I think his problems stem from all the food he eats...he eats massive portions of food. When I used to live with him (we live in seperate countries temporarily) I could control the food portions to a healthy amount, but now that he lives alone he just eats massive amounts. How can I get him to lose weight? I've been asking him for years. I don't care what he looks like, I love him and just want him to be healthy!!

Answer 1

Ask her nicely. or make sure she dose not eat fatning food.
Sorry thats all i could think of.

=)

Answer 2

I was on the other side of that conversation about 7 years ago.


Here are a few pointers:
1) He knows he is fat. He is only not complaining, or saying it doesn't bother him out of ego.
2) He knows he overeats. He sees how other people eat.
3) he probably feels clueless as to change this.
4) It's a fine line between being a support and being a nag.

What worked for us was a CALM sit-down conversation where my partner assured me of how sexy I was, and how much he wanted us to grow old together. Then the reality about what it was like to watch his dad after his heart attack, and what it did to his mom. Then the ultimatum (I can't live with this fear). Finally, a commitment to help me--- we started with evening walks after dinner, removing all candy and booze from the house, and we took a 4 week cooking class together. We changed where we grocery shop. (spending more on healthier food), and we bought several health-related magazine subscriptions. We told our friends what we were doing. The point is, we did it together even though I was the one with the gut (and the smoking problem).

I am happy to say that I am still here, healthy, and happier than before.

p.s. I read in one of my mags that for every 25 lbs you loose, you gain one inch of "johnson" because of the fat pad issue! That might motivate him! lol

Answer 3

This is a difficult situation, particularly since you and he are separated by distance for the short term.

Telling someone to lose weight doesn't work; in fact, it could make it worse and cause possible friction in your relationship. Diets do not work, in my opinion; I think I've tried most of them. Try to encourage him to opt for healthy choices when making food selections; he can certainly fill up on high fiber foods, lots of veggies, low fat cheeses, plenty of salads preferably with extra virgin olive oil and vinegar and any spices he might enjoy.
An occasional dish of multi-grain spaghetti with Marinara Sauce is a healthy treat for the taste buds. How about fat-free puddings or jello, store bought or prepared at home with a dollop of Cool Whip and a sprinkling of nuts? Of course, portion control has to occupy your thoughts when eating in restaurants as well as at home.

Finally, as you know, he must discipline himself in the long run. To me, this is the best choice to lose some weight; it may not come off as quickly as you would like, but with some exercise at a local gym or a piece of equipment for the home, this will work.

I wish you/he well; unfortunately, there is no magic pill as we all know. We can only make suggestions with valid reasons for working toward his objective. Again, good luck to you both!!
.

Answer 4

Nagging him is much worse for his health than being obese! Being nagged is very stressful and may cause many more health problems than his weight plus anything else about him that you'd like to change for him.

You can't control someone else's life. "Making" someone lose weight, stop smoking, etc is doomed to failure, as they resent your interference and become more entrenched in bad habits.

You've "been asking him for years." Now you're trying to control what he eats from another country! Either shut up and let him make his own decisions about HIS eating habits and HIS health, or get out of the relationship. Nagging is toxic for both of you. Just stop.

Answer 5

It may just be that a gut runs in his family. My hubby is that way. Although I am concerned about is health, as diabetes runs in his family. If he's built up everywhere but his stomach, he should be ok. You could always ask him to take a physical at the doctors office because you are concerned about his health, men usually listen to somebody else rather than the ones they love.

Answer 6

If this is what you want, then you'll need to put in some effort as well. Start an exercise routine together - thats the best way to motivate him. Obviously don't offend him by bringing it up, make it sound like it's something that you think would be fun to do together. My ex-boyfriend used to put me down on a daily basis because he was concerned about my weight. Heck, my nickname was "chubby girl"! Unfortunately his technique to get me skinny was to verbally abuse me by making me think I wasn't worth much. If he had just come to me with a 'fun' activity that we could do together, I would've felt better about myself and our relationship!

Answer 7

I've lost 5 kilos in my first week. It's my 10th day and I have included salad with some protein (eg. egg/ lean chicken) as you suggested. After 4 years of trying, the fat is finally coming off. It truly feels like magic!

Get started today!

Answer 8

My husband has lost over 70 pounds pounds this year. He says it was by me nagging at him LOL But the truth is all I got him to do was to SLOW DOWN when he ate. He eats what he wants when he wants. Hew just had to slow down and not stuff twice as much in his stomach as what was meant to fit at one time. He blames it on havgin been in the army and HAVING to eat fast but thats crap as he was only in the 5 years and been out abotu 16 years. Just an excuse.

Answer 9

nicely theres no actual thank you to aim weight loss in specific components.. yet your fiance would possibly no longer be determining the main appropriate muscle mass, or no longer giving the msucles sufficient time to construct themselves decrease back up in between exercising consultation instructions. YOu stated that your fiance has sandwiches for lunch.. If he makes them at abode, attempt switching to meat & cheese you come across at a deli of a food market, rather of the packaged style. The packaged style has a lot of sodium, that could desire to be making him preserve greater water. For my fiance, we stopped ingesting soda. It became problematical to barter, yet I went from greater of a male attitude, in that it became costing way too a lot money to constantly be ingesting soda, plus all the dental artwork. using utilising changing our soda with water, it has rather helped us shed some greater advantageous weight. no remember what, your fiance needs to experience such as you decrease back him & motivate him.. If he's dropping motivation, attempt going to the gymnasium with him to get him decrease back in kit. you additionally can attend a classification mutually at your gymnasium, including between the ab instructions or kick boxing, something that i'm specific he might like and he does no longer substitute into bored with unquestionably.

Answer 10

hahah, no sex till he loses the weight would work, or you could start having sex a lot more and burn those extra calories.....but you should probably move back in together so you can keep an eye on what he eats..........my fiance is like that, and i have gotten so fat since i met him, because in his family all they do is cook, eat out and no physical activity.......so they think it is ok to be fat so i am starting to let myself go which is so nasty, and the sad thing is, they think it is ok and they accept me being fat, which is nice being accepted, but its pretty bad they dont care about their health....i mean they do, but not enough to do some serious weight loss.

Answer 11

tell him that you love him and are concerned and that you would like to have him around a lot longer...start off by just walking together this will help and you will realize that you both will feel better.