My wife threw a huge fit and acted like a 2 year old?

Question

becasue I told her I would rather not her hang out with a certain friend of hers (who is fake and i can tell) this girl is T_R_O_U_B_L_E my wife and I are good christain ppl and i know she only wants to help this girl but she has stolen from us and shoplifted when my wife was with her,she almost got my wife thrown in jail for being an accessory how can i get my point across.

she wont listen to me when i tell her why and she will call this girl even after I tell her not to

Answer 1

Why does she want to hang around her so much? I think you are right.. she shouldnt be hanging out with ppl like that. If it is causing trouble between the two of you, then she should do whatever is it to make things right in your relationship, not the relationship with someone else.
you need to sit down face to face and talk with her about how serious you really are about her not being around trouble makers. You have to surround your marriage with good friends.. not friends that will possibly get you in trouble or even add trouble to your relationship.
Maybe if that doesnt work, try talking to the friend, and telling her that she is a thorn in your foot and to just go away.

Answer 2

I'm all for helping people, but obviously one has to protect one's self.

You two are also obviously at an impasse on this issue. You, in essence, have given her an ultimatum to stop associating with this "friend", and she does not wish to abide by it.

The only thing I can think of is some sort of compromise that would specifically address your concerns without forbidding your wife to see her friend. I'm not sure what that would involve, but they may involve the following.

1. If your wife wants to see her friend, then it has to be done away from your home (to address the concerns of stealing).

2. As far as the shoplifting concern, I don't see how you can negotiate that one. If your wife wants to be with her, then she has to accept that risk.

There may be other things that you could add to the list. I'll leave that to you. If she refuses to go along with these conditions, at least you have the knowledge that you tried to make this work.

Answer 3

I don't know what being a Christian has to do with being good, but if I take your word on you and your wife being good people, I have to ask why your wife has bonded with somebody who has no integrity. This person fills a need in her life, and when you objected to her friendship with this person, you were trying to take away baby's candy, and you saw a tantrum. Ii'll buy that. But I'll also buy that you are controling most likely, and that may be the crux of the problem. Is it fixable? I don't know, but you can't make her do anything.

If you wife had healthy self-esteem, then she wouldn't be with a sneak-thief, but if she doesn't have healthy self-esteem, what does that say about your relationship? And why would she be jeapordizing a relationship with a man who is confident, self-controlled, affectionate, not manipulative or controlling with high integrity to hang out with a sneak-thief?

Now I am not saying that her actions are your fault. She is responsible for her actions. And you are responsible for yours. I just never saw a long-term relationship where only one partner was unhealthy.

Answer 4

It sounds like your wife is going to have to get hurt or in trouble with this girl before she realizes that you are right. It sounds like this girl may be telling your wife allot of crap and she is believing in her. Maybe if you try making plans and keeping her so busy that she doesn't have time to hang out with this girl that would work. This girl has found someone to naive to see through her and she is not going away. Don't give up, you have to find some other way than telling her that she CAN'T because she may be thinking that you are just jealouse or a control freak. Be more subtle.

Answer 5

you're not to any extent further being consistent with your discipline. Your son would not comprehend what's envisioned of him and he don't have a sparkling theory of what the outcomes will be. you want to take a at the same time as and are available up with guidelines and a discipline plan and a rewards equipment. Have some straight forward kin guidelines so he's commonplace with what's envisioned of him and omit that with him. comprehend what your disciplinary measures will be for each infraction and follow it. for instance, for the first offense he has an afternoon holiday, second time he receives a toy taken away, etc - regardless of you skinny is honest. it really is not any longer a lot one among those discipline because it really is being consistent, honest and not at all reacting with discipline because you're indignant or shocked because it type of feels you probably did interior the scenario you defined.

Answer 6

She is acting like a two year old because you are acting like a parent. I sympathize, trust me, I do, but your wife is an adult, too. Do you do everything she tells you to? Didn't think so. All women have "that friend". The one that you aren't going to like. And like every man, you made the mistake of telling her not to hang out with her friend. You are going to come out looking like the bad guy in this, if you continue to try to stop her. This friend will ruffle your wife's feathers, your wife will see what this chick is worth, and it will be over. You will get what youwant, trust me. And don't say "I told you she was a bad person." That's a one-way ticcket to the dog house

Answer 7

I would presume that your wife is an adult...which means that you can't control her or make her stop calling someone. You have expressed your concerns. Leave it alone. If your wife continues to associate with her, resulting in something negative happening, then let your adult wife handle the consequences. Never, ever say I told you so. Just be supportive, as much as you can, and let her learn for herself. That is how people mature...not be having someone "save the day" for them. Best of luck!

Answer 8

Well basically what is happening is your wife isnt protecting ur marriage..

Your marriage should be protected from all outside "negative" influences and this girl is one of them.. and this girl is obviously trouble..and obviously a negative influence.. I understand ur wifes need to help her, but she needs help that your wife isnt qualified to give her..

You dont bite the hand that feeds you.. is the saying yet this girl has stolen from u, and has taken your wife on for the ride when committing a crime.. she has no respect for your wife, or she wouldnt be doing this to "her" .

I had a friend, that had a neighbor that was contstantly running to her , her husband was abusing her, and doing horrible things, and my friend tried to constantly help her, yet she didnt do anything to help herself, eventually the woman turned on my friend, when the police got involved between her and her bf, the she blamed my friend, for something that she had done..to the police, and it was an extremely huge accusation, it wasnt till then that my friend finally realized that she had gotten suckered in to trying to help someone that didnt deserve it and would use anyone and anything that got into her path.. and had to say enough was enough to protect her own family..

Theres no doubt that ur wifes friend needs help.. but unfortunately your wifes friend needs "professional" help.. people equipped and qualified to actually give the help she needs.. If the girl really thought of her as a friend, she wouldnt do things to hurt her, like try to take her down with her, or steal from her..this girl isnt stupid, she's using your wife as a false support system to use her to get what she wants and need, meanwhile actting as though she's an innocent person that cant control whats happening in her life..

But her loyalties are to u first..your her family and she needs to protect her family.. doesnt mean she cant help this girl.. but she should be helping her "GET HELP" from professionals, not trying to save her , herself, because this girl is already to far gone if she's taking your wife along for her ride of terror.. the stealing from ur home, and the stealing while with ur wife..

If your wife offers her a way to seek professional help, and she turns it down, then right there tells u she really doesnt want help and at that point ur wife needs to throw her arms in the air and say ive done all i could do.. tuff love, isnt easy to give but at times is a neccesity.. and i think not only does your wife need to give her friend some tuff love, but u need to give ur wife some tuff love if she cant understand that this girl is breaking up your marriage..

Answer 9

You should not boss your wife around telling her who to talk to. You can give opinions, but there's no need to treat your wife like a child. It's not wonder she acted like one. You sound less like a husband and more like a father. Gross.

I agree with your wife, no matter who this woman is. A husband or wife has no right telling the other who he or she can and cannot be friends with!

Answer 10

Ok your wife is just trying to help her. Obviously this girl your talking about needs serious help and your wife is that help. Don't you think your wife see it too that she is trouble yes she does but she is trying to get this girl out of trouble. You connot tell your wife who she can hang out with and who she can't that's another thing, but you have to deal with her picking up people when they fall and not kicking them OK.

Jewel T