2 months ago I asked my fiancee for time apart; things were moving fast, marriage was coming, and I thought I needed to think alone. She was very upset, but I insisted and didnt see her for a month. I realized how much I loved and I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me and she was dating someone else but broke that off after 1 week. She forgave me and we are happly engaged again. Recently I found out that she had sex with the other guy before she took me back. She says she wanted to have sex and she was free to so. She also said the guy was very sweet and she was the one who had made the decision. She told him she would go back to me, and that he coud have one night only. We have talked about how she was hurt, and also about the sex we are back in love and my heart knows she is the one, but it bothers me that she admits she also wanted to teach me a lesson for hurting her so bad, and I wonder if it was right of her to make me feel jealous... but should I ??
2007-02-24 00:08:18 · 9 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when u leave somebody it is safe to assume that that relationship may be over with. maybe she had to be with the other guy to know u were really the one for her, she was hurt, i don't blame her for seeking love elsewhere, from someone else. in her mind she figured the relationship with u was all but over with. so what if she slept with him, she chose u over him, that's how u have to look at the situation. had u never left her, there would have been no him.
2007-02-24 00:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one...you have to be able to leave the past where it belongs...in the past. This does not mean, however, that you should forget it all together or the lessons you learned. I went through a similar situation with my husband before we were married. FOR YEARS AFTERWARD it was really hard for us to have a rational discussion about some of the things we did to each other in the interest of "teaching the other a lesson". But you know what we are now married for nearly 8 years with 3 kids and our relationship is stronger than ever and all of the experiences from our past have brought us both to the people that we are today...
My advice...try not to dwell on it too much...you will only hurt yourself and in the end this girl whom you claim is "the one". Time truly does heal all wounds!! Good luck!
2007-02-24 08:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by andiw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better have a deep and soul-trying search within yourself first if you are really willing to pursue with your marriage with this girl...if you are martyr enough to love her knowing that every time there's a rift between you she resort to sleeping with another guy just to teach you a lesson...and what kind of lesson did you learn from it? Is she really that narrow-minded kind of a woman to do such a thing to hurt you? How many times will she do it in the future and how many times will you forgive and accept her for it? If love really blinded you that much...then go ahead and I'll just wish you luck...but...if you are in your right senses...and treasure your dignity as a man...then better move on with your head held up high.
2007-02-24 08:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by dimma59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good lesson that must sink into your head (no offence meant). It is just that some people learn things the harder way.
Put yourself in her shoes, what would you do when your bf hurts you deeply? On the other hand she may have gone a little too far.
2007-02-24 08:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by JP E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are very immature....why would you lead someone along that you wanted to marry them,break it off and crush them then be concerned about what they did while you were apart??????makes no sense to me.....id also add how can you just fall in love...loose it for a month or so and gain it back????she had every right to date other people when you broke it off...she needed to feel wanted and it turned her to another mans arms...you are the guilty one here not her....communicate openly and honestly with her
2007-02-24 09:09:25 · answer #5 · answered by kevin c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get ready for a life full of drama if you marry this chick. God bless ya dude.
2007-02-24 08:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many times are you going to ask this question? Either shut up and marry her and NEVER bring this up again or ditch the ***** and stop asking this question - Grow Up
2007-02-24 09:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe next time you will think before doing something so drastic. Hate to say it pal, but you earned that one. She was right....vindictive, but right.
2007-02-24 09:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your wrong...and shes right for what she did...thats EXACTLY what u deserved..now get over it and i hope u learned ur lesson
2007-02-24 08:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by ☺ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋