how do you disipline and unruly child who doesnt care what you take away.?

Question

my 4 yr old is putting his fist in my face and being really rude and mean. he hit and kicks me when i get on to him. i have tried everything PLEASE HELP!!!!

Answer 1

It is going to take some serious work if he is at that point of disrespect.

If he has a dad around his dad needs to back you up.

Here is what I recommend:

Explain to him what kind of behavior you can and cannot allow. Make "house rules."

Explain to him that there will be consequences for bad behavior.

If he disobeys give him one warning then the next time he tests follow through with the consequence. Do not slack on this!

If he starts to misbehave get down to his level, look him in the eyes and calmly tell him in a low voice that his behavior is not acceptable...don't yell at him from across the room. It doesn't work.

Be consistant.

If you notice he seems to be on his way to acting out get him occupied in a project, like coloring or Play-Doh.

Hope that helps!

Answer 2

I honestly say spank him
if you do not put a stop to his behavior now it will only get worse
if you are not into spanking then have him sit in a chair or on the couch or buckled in to a stroller assuring that he can do nothing but sit for the entire day only to get up to go potty a couple of times doing this and he should stop
no spanking is not making you a monster
there is a difference to spanking and beating
set a limit on how many swats you give him
if taking away his toys and TV privileges away have not worked

good luck
mother of 7 starting at 15 all the way down to 6 months

Answer 3

We have the same problem with our 5yr old daughter although she has never hit us in the face she does hit and is very out of control unless daddy is home. She has hit both me and her bilogical father. I took her to the doctor for it the other day and she said the same thing most these people are saying including spank her if she gets too out of hand but she did say to take her to a Psycologist and she did say to try parenting classes. Not because I am a bad parent but because other parents go through this and may be able to give tips. The doctor also saw her acting out and doing stuff that was very dangerous I got up Grabbed my daughters wrist she sat down and I said in a not so quiet but firm voice I didn't yell too loud but I did say it firmly "Don't do that it is very dangerous and sit down". The doctor said she will probably test me agian before we left and she did. I don't know if this helps but you do need to get it under control as do I. Or eventually it will be too late. Good Luck and I hope this helps. and nothing works with her, not spanking, not timeout, not grounding, not taking things away even TV and toys and coloring books and such nothing works with her.

Answer 4

Whatever you do, hitting will only make things worse. How can you teach a child not to hit when you are doing so? As per other messages, give one warning without violence or intimidation. If this fails, create a naughty spot and make your child stay there for the allotted time. If you conitnue to do this without wavering and getting soft, the child will soon learn not to be so naughty. One word of warning, do not use this method for evry misdemeanor. Maybe just the major ones. The lesser ones deserve a lesser punishment. Good luck. Charlotte (2 boys - 4 & 2)

Answer 5

I have a five year old. Taking things away doesn't really matter, when what they rely on is your reactions, and your time and attention.

So talking stern to them in a vary hard voice when the first unruly action happens, telling him that it is wrong, and then putting him in the laundry or a place that is not ordinary like his bedroom or games room, until he can say sorry, and behave. As soon s he does, you have to give him the biggest hug. This has to be repeated many many times, if you haven't been following this type of tact, as you have to retrain him.

Similar to the nanny show.

at the same time, no cordial, white bread, chocolate.

It drives me nuts that so many parents feed their kids so much hidden sugars, and wonder why they are reacting or miss behaving. The spike in their blood sugar, makes them very era dict, as high sugary diets are not a normal part of our diets for our kids, and were never meant to be.

Answer 6

Wear his little hiney out a couple of times and put the fear of God in him! People who don't discipline their kids make me sick! YOU are running the show- not him!!!! Oh, Bill!!!! How many kids do you have? Instead of calling parents who spank a monster, how about a solution?

Judge Judy- I'm obviously not talking about abusive beatings here- i'm talking about spanking- and people like you are the reason why many American children grow up to be disrespectful and bratty. This is an issue that won't be settled here, of course. But i don't believe you can teach a child respect by kissing their butt and coddling them when the author of this question's child obviously has gone beyond a small temper tantrum. She also stated that it made no difference to the child when things were taken away. Obviously i'm not the expert you are, but to me there is a difference between "hitting" and spanking. The child must be made to understand that the spanking was done out of love, not anger- there is a difference. And i myself have never spanked my children more than twice in their lives, and only as a last option. A little dose of respect never hurt anyone- and to those who think different, when your child behaves out of control call Supernanny!

Answer 7

Spare the rod, spoil the child. It doesn't mean beat him, but spank his hind end a couple of times when he is being overly unruly. And don't just take one or two things away... take EVERYTHING away. Put it all in a garbage bag, and let him see you walk out the door with it all. You'd be amazed at what an attitude adjuster both of these things are.

Answer 8

He wants your attention and has no way to tell you other than hitting. You need to make some time for him every single day one on one with no one else. Talk to him, read to him, play with him, play with him! He needs some consequences for when he does misbehave and you MUST be consistent. Children need and want order and they must know what to expect. Tell him what the consequences will be and be sure to follow through. Every time without fail! When kids misbehave like that it points to the parents. It doesn't mean you're a terrible parent but it shows he needs something from you and consistency is crucial.

Punishing him for hitting by hitting him will make it worse. To a young child that doesn't make sense. Spanking him will create an angry confused child. He needs your attention not a spanking.

Answer 9

You have to stop the bad behaviours immediately. What I did with my boys - when they misbehave, I would tell them if you do that again, they will have to spend XX minutes in the bathroom on their own. And I keep to my words - kids are really smart nowadays. If you do not carry out your punishments, they know you are just good at empty threats.

Also, if he hits/kicks you, you should tell him off on the spot. You need to let him know that the behaviour is wrong - perhaps just grab the hand that hits you, and hit it with your hand (hard enough for him to feel pain but not too hard) and tell him its wrong to do that. Sometimes we would purposely hit or kick my boys the same way (with controlled strength) and ask them if it hurts. This is so that they know that we hurt too when they hit us.

for my boys, taking their toys away doesn't help - cos they know they could get it back later. Besides, kids nowadays have tons of toys. Taking some away means little to them.

Answer 10

What shows on TV is he watching? At this age alot of what they see they try out on those around him.
What is his favorite toy, game, or food? Take it away, but he has to be able to see it...make the rule and stick to it. If he acts up in front of others, take him and put him by himself.
My son at this age told me for the first time that he hated me. I turned, yes my heart was in my stomache and I told him that I hated myself sometimes too so he wasn't alone in that comment. He never said it to me again.
When he's being rude, be rude back. When he hits and kicks, throw yourself on the floor and throw a tantrum and see what happens.
Check out what he's watching on TV bet you will get an education and find the reason for this behavior.