I haven't talked to my dad in almost a year 1/2 because he sent me an email making it quite clear he wanted nothing to do with my family or me ever again. As it was he already had weaseled out of child support and I only saw him a couple of times a year in holidays. He moved to Wagga with my stepmum (who is also evil) to aggravate my mum because he knew he could get at her best by making me upset. I still saw him for a few years before this happened but now I don't want to ever be a part of this losers life. He did this to my twin half brothers for 2 and a half years and it took my mum that whole time of pleading to convince him to talk to them again. He never apologised and they try to stay out of this because they don't want it to happen again. He does this to the kids he "loves" to get at his exes...had a rough childhood and my theory is that he had all feeling drilled out of him so does whatever he wants and feels no one elses pain, only that to his pride. Should I contact him?
2007-02-23 18:09:15 · 8 answers · asked by Bambi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I say a retarded rock because I have a very intelligent pet rock who cares much more about me and my feelings. He is very good at the stay command but is still working on 'come'. Just thought I'd lighten this up a bit! : )
2007-02-23 18:10:44 · update #1
My advice is NO...do not contact him, in fact give him the same response that he has given everyone else, as he does not deserve any consideration.
2007-02-23 18:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by ramarro smith shadow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you may be ready to make contact but after all you have shared. Not to worry , some day when you are more secure with yourself, less dependent on what others are feeling or advising (including this), - and able to ask him why? As an independent adult you may find it easier to get past the feelings and theories to discover who he really is. I think too, that you can do this with-out being hurt, by not rushing and remember to test yourself with small moves from the start , a willingness to pull back for pauses and restart when you are ready. think about it
2007-02-24 07:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by canvasman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate exactly to what you are feeling about your father, only with my father add molesting to the equation. When he left my mother he did the family, his children a huge favor. It took us years to finally confront him, we would see him and actually go to dinner twice a year at his home with his new wife. Every year at Christmas he hid out and at every other holiday as well. The only thing I got from my father I recall is an old oil paint set that should have gone to the trash. So finally I did the right thing, I totally disowned my father after confronting him for his crimes against his children. He didnt see his wrongs so I said as far as I am concerned you do not exist. I held to my promise. I was set free. Free yourself and let him go. We obviously do not get to chose our parents. You seem like a sensitive intelligent person be happy that you know the difference between being a good person and being as you call it a rock.
2007-02-23 20:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its hard but in life there are some people you just have to let go!!! I've been in a similar situation with my dad but I realize that it's best if he's not a part of my life because he's done more harm than good. One day your dad will realize what a treasure he's lost. Right now he's just concerned about getting back as his exes. Females come and go but your children will always be your children. Don't worry yourself about contacting him. Just let it go. Forgive him because he does not know what he's doing. One day he will realize what a huge mistake he has made and he will truly regret!!! When it comes you'll be expecting a long, overdue apology. Just focus on people who care for you and want to be around you. Good luck!!!
2007-02-23 18:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by truth hurts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't contact him. It's time to put an end to this vicious cycle of bitterness by living your life to the fullest despite of it all. Try not to be bitter like dad.... forgive him and love him from the distance. Don't be like a rock... but do cherish your pet rock. Keep your humor.
2007-02-23 18:34:06 · answer #5 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people blame how they are on their bad childhoods, but your dad is a looser because he chooses to be. Its his loss that he doesn't keep in touch With you and your better off without him. If you need to find an older guy to date to be a father figure but the best revenge on your dad is to be happy without him. Good luck!!
2007-02-26 19:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, don't contact him, you'll only make yourself hurt worse. the best thing for you to do now is to try and forgive him for what he has done to you and your twin brothers. while he may not care a whit whether or not you forgive him, it'll make it one less burden you have to deal with. definitely forgive, then forget.
2007-02-23 18:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by a.n.a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋