All through high school, I had never made friends easily and now I'm having issues into adulthood.
Specifically with this one:
She and I became friends because she was my manager.I still frequented this place even after I quit and now my hubby works there. When he started working there, she and I began to hang out and then hubby and I started hanging out at her place with her and her family. We are pagan and we had other things in common and we started a coven together. This is basicly just a religious group. She and my hubby were the leaders because I am almost a decade both of their juniors.
She and I got really close and she even performed my wedding. Then, she started to get stressed and 'handed over the coven'. Now she is mad because I didnt keep her informed and she wont even talk to me. She says she will call when she feels like letting me in her life again, and that I have hurt her so much. I just dont get it. I dont really want to write her off but she did REALLY hurt ME!
2007-02-23 17:31:48 · 8 answers · asked by TiGeR 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You're not really giving enough details for me to provide you with a solid answer, but I'll give it a shot anyway.
If she handed over the "coven" to you and walked away, then in my opinion she has no cause to be getting regular updates on its progress. (I put "coven" in quotation marks because a coven is usually an initiatory organization, and I'm guessing that yours wasn't that type of group.)
If she won't even talk to you, there's not a whole lot you can do about that. You can't burst down her door and make her have a conversation with you. The question that springs to my mind is, why are you willing to put up with that type of treatment from HER? It doesn't sound like she's being very mature, and any person who'll turn their back on you that way once is likely to do it again if the going gets tough, even if you do manage to get them back into your life.
My advice to you, based on what little information you've given, would be to cut your losses and make other friendships. Accept that you've had good times with her and let her go while wishing her the best in the future -- in my personal experience, that's the way that's easiest on the heart. (What is it they say about resentment being the condition of letting someone you dislike live rent-free inside your head?) I don't really consider this to be a religious question, since it's really about interpersonal politics and the Pagan aspect seems rather secondary.
I wish you the best of luck.
2007-02-23 17:37:00 · answer #1 · answered by prairiecrow 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, they say you can count your real friends on one hand. It sounds to me like she's the one with the issue, not you. It was her decision to hand over the group without any stipulations that she be kept informed. You're not a mind reader. How were you supposed to know she wanted to be kept informed? I say you should let her have her space, but before you let this go, you might want to explain that if she feels hurt, it wasn't your intention to hurt her. You obviously thought she needed her space and time away because she was stressed. That's why she handed the group over to begin with.
Bottom line - it's not your problem. It's hers and either she'll move on and hurt herself with her anger, or she'll come around accept that she made a decision and she has to live with that decision. It sounds to me like you are not to blame for her hurt feelings. I realize your feelings are hurt, but you can't control other people (especially their perceptions of a situation and their emotions). Just tell her why you did what you did and the ball is in her court. Don't worry, you'll make more friends.
2007-02-23 17:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by swordarkeereon 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
About all you can do is back off for a while and let her sort out whatever issues she's got going on. If he's so petty that she wants to pout and brood that's her problem.
And also pay no heed to fearmongers like Steve K.
2007-02-23 21:28:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your worried about a lit firecracker in your hand and you don't even notice the hand grenade that is placed at your feet. You have a much more serious problem to deal with in being a pagan. Are you going to stake your eternal security on this choice? God said "I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other gods before me". First things first. Get out of the way of the oncoming truck first then you can safely stop and tie your shoe. God loves you and wants you to turn to Him. He cares for you as well as your friend. He will enable you to deal with the situation.
2007-02-23 18:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by MythBuster 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Forget her, you'll find new and better friends. Anyone who will just stop talking to you like that isn't a good friend. A good friend would tell you how she felt instead of blowing you off like that.
*But who am I to give advice? I don't know you and I don't know the whole story *both sides*
*Good Luck to you. Hop you get things worked out, but I know you will.
2007-02-23 17:40:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Friendships have to be two way. I don't think that there is much you can do.
2007-02-23 17:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cast a spell on her.
2007-02-23 17:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
?:<(
2007-02-23 17:37:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jimguyy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋