Is this normal for a girl thats been cheated on??

Question

kk..so we've been goin out for 4 and a half months and its the most amazing relationship ever....every1 thinks we are the cutest couple and we cant stop thinking about the future we have together...we are in our senior year at high school...In her last relationship, her "first love", she was cheated on and has yet too fully recover. Like when we were dancing the other day, she heard a song that she said was her and her ex's song, and started to cry..basically everytime shes reminded of her past, it hurts her like crazy and then shortly after she'd apologise for crying, because she says she cant control it...I know we love each other, but anyone have any experiences with this? PLZ helpp

Answer 1

She's just a senior in high school, she'll get over it. Sounds to me like she's still very immature. Quit babying her, that's what seems to be happening. Tell her the past is the past, and if she can't get past that.......move on.

Answer 2

Wow, that really hit the home base on that one. I definately have experience in this category. I was married for a short period of time to someone that I dated for over 2 years, guess it just wasn't meant to be. Now, I am in a very serious relationship, been with my fiance for 8 months now, and still til this day, songs and pretty much anything reminds me of my ex-husband. I don't love him anymore, I want all of the reminders to not make me feel odd or whatever you wanna call it, but when you've shared a part of your life, that you know deep down did matter, but you dont want it anymore, you can't just push it away out of your life like a click of a button. You can't erase the past, but sooner or later she'll be able to get over him. Maybe, sitting down with her and you asking her about the entire relationship & what happened (if you don't already know) and ask her straight up if she still has feelings, or if theres anything she may be able to do to get a little more closure. I've also had relationships, that didn't end as bad as my marriage, hell, relationships that I had when I was 16, my first boyfriend infact, I still think about him, and certain things still remind me of him, but I've turned those into good things, and they've definately made me who I am today. So, in result, she'll eventually get over it, and she'll learn that she shouldn't have remourse (crying or depression) towards what that guy has done to her. Mostly, commuication is best when your in a relationship with someone that has been in a previous relationship where abuse/cheating has occured. Hope this helps you a bit.

Answer 3

No it's not normal, because if she loves you then the past would be nothing to her. She can leave the past behind if she ever wants to have a future. You two are young and although when you are in highschool you plan for forever you never know what the great unknowns of the real world will bring to you. There are so many things you go through after high school, like real jobs, college, moving, different people in different towns.

Answer 4

Here is an honest answer for you....YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL! I can tell you that you arent in "love". She cares more for her ex boyfriend. Sorry. I am more than twice your age and have been there more than once. I am happily married now. I know one couple that has been together since high school and i have been out of school for more than 20 years....things may be going great with you otherwise, but listen......first, you have a whole life ahead of you, she is not over her ex....and you need to move on. She is hanging on to you becuz you care...that is a great thing, but take care of yourself first and foremost. If she is that caught up in her last relationship (being cheated on or not)....it wont change. If she "loves" you...she wouldnt care about her past relationship......good luck.

Answer 5

I hurts so much to be betrayed. Tell her that God is has a plan and though she can not see the end result right now, she will later on and she will look back on it like it was nothing. Tell her to thank God for the tribulations she is going through because it is all his will. This will ease the pain and shorten it.

Answer 6

Never been there, have advice though.

I think she loved her ex alot, but can't stand to be with him. You just have to comfort her, and give her a hug everytime she's reminded of her past. I think us girls are reminded of our past often.

Everyday for the past month I've had flash backs of seven years ago. Just help her through it, and help her get over it.

Answer 7

well man i`m a girl an she mite still be in love with that guy of cores she is going to cry of their song she LOVE much him well if you realy love her you`ll give her how much you realy do first 1. tell her that u love her then kiss her 2. take her out or sex tell her you want kids good luck man bye.

Answer 8

i couldn't possibly be with a girl who's loved someone else and called him their first love.

she might just be scare that you'll do the same. and she isn't completely over him which sucks.

i experienced this. she wasn't completely over her ex and would like write stuff and lyrics of songs. just hurting stuff.. but its done now but still comes back

Answer 9

If you love her give her time 4and 1/2 months isn't long enough to heal.Be patient and supportive and most of all understanding!!!

Answer 10

yes. i think it happens to most people at one point in their life. move on. that's the only acceptable thing to do. you're young and there are better guys out there. don't be the pathetic loser that gets infatuated with a loser who cheated on them... that person is a disgrace that everyone usually laughs at.