rape/moelsation...?

Question

it happens to so many people...do why arent we more open about it? it would be so much easier for survivors if people talked about it as a regular thing, insted of keeping the topic hidden.

how long did it take you or some one you knwo to get past rape/molesation trama?

why do fathers, uncles, and grandfathers rape girls in their family?
i coudl understand mayeb if it was a stanger because you will never see them again, btu with a family member the event is unforgettable.

were they depressed after what happened to them?

thank you.

Answer 1

Rape is one of those things that leaves victims scarred long after the actual event. They begin to second guess themselves...Did they encourage it, did they somehow ask for it? Did they actually enjoy it? Was it rape or actually a date? Why couldn't they have seen what was coming and so on?

There is no cure, only acceptance and understanding that you were a victim... after what can be a long long time. I once had a patient who was so guilty because she remembered her own orgasm's, while her father raped her as a child at 11-17. She thought she wanted it!!!

Not true of course! What causes men to rape? It is a multifaceted answer, but essentially it starts with resentment toward women, and ends up being a control thing. Showing they are superior, that they can make their victim do anything they want..and so on. It gives the rapist, a sense of power, but the cost to both sides, is enormous on an emotional level.

Men who are repeatedly raped in prison, often are never able to accept their masculinity again, and often commit suicide, or other acts of self mutilation.

Get counselling fast, it won't solve the problem overnight, but it is the only viable solution.

Answer 2

I think we should be more open about it but it is one of those things society in general are still uncomfortable talking about it is a shame. I was raped 6 years ago and still not 'over' it and i don't truly think ever anyone will be able to overcome it but i think people can learn to accept it has happened unfortunately i am still trying to. No on truly knows the answer as to why anyone would rape another person although there is a lot of speculation on it. I was raped by a stranger and still cant forget about it so it doesn't make it much different being a family member or stranger because there are different issues connected with them both. I have been depressed for many years seen councilors been on pills non of which helped. It is something i feel i must overcome myself it is just a case now of i think playing the waiting game.

Answer 3

you never get past it ,it will effect you all your life, you get into counseling it helps some but never enough. if you are a little girl yes I GUESS YOU WOULD SAY YOU GET DEPRESSED, your whole world changes you can go from being a happy care free child to one that is confused ,scared , can;t concentrate and that effects you grades in school.it totally destroys a child,and the adult he or she becomes.I'm a she so really don't know for sure how it effects the boys, but its probably the same or could be worse. a family member ,I don't know how they can do this ,to a child . the child loves and trust this person,what a terrible disappointment to a child(.me a victim yes, from a grandfather that I LOVED SO MUCH, I DON;T LOVE HIM ANY MORE, he is dead and even that doesn't help. people that hurt children should be put in jail and never let out again . I'm adult in counseling, and take med. for depression,anxiety, post traumatic stress syndrome obsessive compulsive disorder and still trapped by a bad memory.and never told he said don;t ever tell it would kill your mom, well it killed me inside, and me too I WONDER WHY whats wrong with them it has to be just an evilness in them.doctors will say no their just sick ,or they was abused. I WAS ABUSED I'd never do that ,you would have to be crazy or evil. that's all their is to it .

Answer 4

I'm 24 years old soon, I was molested when I was three by my father, and when I was six by the 16 year old next door neighbor. I don't believe I ever will get over it, I think I learn better ways to coap, I'm learning to heal, I haven't been able to forgive 100%, but even though my life goes on and I get stronger. What happened to me effects me subconsciencely with decisions I make now. my physical scars have healed long ago, but I don't know if the internal ones ever will. As far as depressed, I was numb to it for along time, thats the way I coaped. I've had bouts of depression, but I got through it, and now what it effects most is my choices and I'm working with a therapist on how to take control and make better choices, and ultimately move foreward and not be so self distructive.

Answer 5

I think it's talked about quite a bit, in fact in the last month I saw something on the news and on a talk show.

The men who molest and rape are very sick people. No they are not depressed after they rape or molest, it is a thrill for them. It is not about sex, it is about power, control, domination and many men who do this learned this behavior in their families of origin when they were children. They may have seen their father or other male family member do this or they themselves were molested.

This is why women need to be very careful who they allow their children to be around. Especially during holidays when family members visit, keep a close watch on the girls and boys, remember boys do get molested too, though not as much as girls do.

We need to educate our girls better too, none of this "nice" garbage, we need to teach them to have respect for themselves and how to fight and protect themselves in situations.

I had repressed memories of an uncle touching me inappropriately when I stayed at his house at around 8 years old. After I remembered the incident (at 38 years old) in bits and pieces, I also remembered how I felt. But, I was able to look at what happened and heal. I understood it was the past and it couldn't hurt me again. BTW, that uncle died at an early age in a car accident. Looking back, that was a good thing so he couldn't hurt any other girls. He molested his daughters, I remembered that too.

Answer 6

i can't understand why anyone...family,friends, or strangers would rape someone! just because they're a stranger doesn't give them any more right to be a pathetic low life piece of scum. and the event is unforgettable no matter who it is. my sister's ex-bf (he was around 30 at the time) use to molest/rape me when i was 7-8...i'm 20 now and not a day goes by that i dont think about it. ever since then i remember every single little detail that ever happened...from his smell, the rooms, his words...everything. i remember it literally like it was yesterday. my entire teenage years and even now, i suffer from depression. i use to be suicidal, i use to harm myself, i have no self-esteem. the only person i ever told was a friend at the time...no one else. he always told me and made it seem like we would BOTH get in trouble if i told...so i never did. several years later is when i was rock-bottom and hated living so bad. i now know i was just a child and didn't do anything wrong, but i use to feel like i was betraying my sister too. he had two kids (my niece and nephew) with my sister (they have a real father now) and i love them to pieces, but they both look like him in different ways and it hurts sometimes. im glad they weren't old enough to remember him. if he was still around i'd probably go to jail for murder because i'd kill him before he got to see the two again. so, your question as to how long did it take to get past it? i haven't yet. maybe it's because i haven't talked about it with anyone...who knows? but i know it'll leave permanent scars for life, no matter how much i move on. i don't know about other victims, but ive never been open about it because maybe deep down inside i still feel like i did something wrong, like he always told me, i sort of feel ashamed about it, i feel stupid about it because i kept it hidden, it's just something i dont' really want the people around me knowing. i dont know why...i just don't. i don't feel like it would make a difference to say anything now...there's nothing i can do and can be done. if i could go back i would without a doubt tell someone the first time something happened. maybe my life would of been a little different then, maybe i wouldnt have horrible anxiety attacks all the time, maybe i wouldn't be depressed, maybe i wouldnt be scared of soooo many things that i use to love. maybe i wouldnt bottle everything inside all the time...i know alot of things would of been different. of course it would be easier if survivors talked about it...but it's not a regular thing...it takes alot of courage for someone to openly bring up the most painful time in thier lives. to openly talk about what happened, you'd have to remember it and somewhat relive it. it hurts...

Answer 7

Yes, my great grandpa told his son and now that son is my grandpa: how the racist anglo Navy Sailors raped his Esperanza in a Tattoo Parlor in East Los Angeles June 3, 1943.
My grandpa would always pick fights against anglo people bc, what they have done to his father's esposa.
He would even tell me stories how anglo people are the biggest rappist of the world. I would always try to avoid my grandpa but, it seems that those scumbags Navy sailors were wrong what they done to my Great Grand ma in East Los Angeles, for that I would never like to join the navy or be sad for the anglos rape crimes among themselves.

Answer 8

i agree. but then again, me and my mom were abused by my real dad. im okay with talking about it but its still one of those things that you feel like if you tell someone, they wont believe you and then it causes awkward silences. the first time i was raped by my father which i can still remember even when i was little, i thought that i wouldnt have friends because everyone would talk about how im the freak that was mollested and raped by my own blood. fortunately i have a couple friends but there are still those who look at me strangely. i guess thats wat makes it kind of hard to talk about. i still cant get over how a man would do that to a child but ive gotten over symptoms for the most part such as nightmares, sleep walking, depression, fear, and guilt.

Answer 9

I'm not really sure WHY it happens....but a better idea would be if there were some way to introduce the girls who are into rape fantasies to the guys who are rapists,and I think that would solve a lot of the problem.