Heyy... going through a tough situation and started writing... just wondering what everyone thinks of it!
BETTER OFF
So unsure of what to do;
So lost of what is right.
So scared to lose a friend
And take what is in sight.
So ready to give up,
But not ready to let go.
Praying that you'll understand;
Begging you to know.
It's in the words, the thoughts, the mind,
But not inside the heart.
Better off as friends,
But not better off apart.
To lose you is to lose the world;
To lose the greatest friend.
A sweet and soft goodbye
Doesn't have to be the end.
Tried so hard and failed;
Sadly let you down
When all you brought was happiness;
A smile before a frown.
And soon will come the tears
That fall not by your hand.
Just couldn't make to love you;
The simplest demand.
Look not into the eyes,
But deep into the heart;
Better off as friends,
But not better off apart.
2007-02-23 15:38:24 · 12 answers · asked by xxEquestrianxx 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Quotations
cool my friends going through that
but u soo need to work on ur rhyming lol
2007-02-23 15:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by bleh 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are very talented. I would suggest looking into a creative writing class. The teacher will help you to "fine tune" your poems. You have the heart and soul for poetry and that is what poetry contest judges love. Good Luck!
2007-02-26 15:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great poem! Very simple but expressive. It gets the message through to the reader. Keep writing!
2007-02-23 18:42:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its too adorable!having selected ur own style of writing...applaudable! but when u r a true frnd never expect anything back from ur dear frnd!but i know...emotions often urges one to take up a writer's sword(pen).keep on writing....... writing is something which cant b planned ,its instantaneous .... to me writing is like a feeling...as i feel hungry, feel thirsty, i feel to write!!!keep going ...all the best!
2007-02-24 06:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by arivali 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it.
The meter is a bit off, but the sentinment is clear.
2007-02-23 15:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is veryy good
I like it X's351352132413541351324351354563132456
2007-02-23 15:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by Asherz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great. I don't care for rhyming. I can feel you in this poetry.
Hope everything will be better for you soon.
Cheers...
2007-02-23 15:52:01 · answer #7 · answered by ira a 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's so beautiful. i can't explain it but after hearing that, after seeing in to the depths of your thoughts, your insites, and indiviualistic view of the world...i feel conected...
2007-02-23 15:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good.
2007-02-23 15:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by klp_dog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
deep...you should post it on poetry.com, try to get it published! really great!
2007-02-23 15:41:46 · answer #10 · answered by twinkles1614 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋