my two boys are always at each other fighting aurging non stop its driving me crazy! I have tried sepreating them, i have tried making them sit in one room together, i have tried explaining the importance of family and that brothers should love each other, i have tried grounding them, taking things away from them, and its not working. :( any suggestions?
p.s they are ages 5 and 7
2007-02-23 15:35:30 · 9 answers · asked by melissa 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have tired ignoring it as well and sometimes it gets to the point where someone gets popped in the face. I dont think ignoring it is safe i dont need dcfs showing up at my door and accusing me of neglect or something u know..
2007-02-23 16:04:39 · update #1
they fight all day every day and it seems they never get along. they both get along with other kids great at school and they have no plms with their sister either. My daughter is well behaved and doesnt fight with them. its just the boys. :(
2007-02-23 16:57:09 · update #2
There is a big difference between common and normal. Yes it is common for siblings to argue or fight, but it is not OK. I agree with MamyLady that you should spend time with each boy individually, and also with both together doing something they both enjoy. It usually is an attention getting behaviour. Biggest thing is to catch them when they are not fighting and immediately praise them for playing nicely before a fight starts. That way they are getting attention for GOOD behaviour and it makes them want to keep up the good work. Even if you have to repeat this every 30 seconds to prevent a fight, do it and they will gradually increase the amount of time they can play nicely. Try talking to their teachers, find out if the same thing is happening on the playground at school (kids often behave differently when their parents are not around) Involve any adult who has regular contact with your kids (sitters, teachers, grandparents etc.) and decide on ONE strategy for dealing with this behaviour, and stick to it 100% for at least a couple of months before trying something new. Don't be afraid to ask other parents what strategies worked for them. You may get some really good ideas and it helps to know you are not alone. You may also want to check out if there are any positive parenting seminars in your area. This is going to take a lot of effort but your kids are definitely worth it.
2007-02-23 16:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by Erica G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, they're 5 and 7. That's how they're gonna act. Second, they're brothers. Brothers get in fights all the time. I'm the youngest of 3. My oldest sis is 6 yrs. older, so we never fought. My other sister is 3 yrs. my sr., so we had problems. We had fights until the day she left for college. Before, we would have as easily killed each other (figuratively) as smiled at each other. Now, when she's home, we're best buddies. I think if they valued the time they have together, then they'll realize, as I did, how much fun they can have if they just cill out... unfortunately, there's probably no easy way to get them to realize this...
So, if you can find a way to get them to value each other's time, then you'll get somewhere. Until then, you're going to have 2 boys on your hands. Fact: they're probably gonna physically fight with each other. They will establish who is dominant, but they may still have quarrels. My friends who are 16 and 17 still have brawls with their brothers. Its just how boys are.
2007-02-23 23:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by pish_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
STOP! Making them sit together and/or hold hands you make the situation worse off. My friend has 2 younger brothers and they used to have to do that. Instead of "bonding" they teased each other and faught even more. It is a common parental error to think forcing "love" is the best thing for your children. I would reccomend trying to let them work out their problems. However, I am not against spanking for the younger one and grounding can't hurt sometimes. Remember overused punishments become ineffective. Trust me I have two girls of my own. Sometimes siblings need to disagree and learn to deal with things in life.
2007-02-23 23:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by Shay-la♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal maybe a separate weekend from each other but make it a boring one for both they will realize how much they miss each other that might give you a day or two of peace with them in they same house. But there boys and brothers there always going to bicker and fight.
2007-02-23 23:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by kevin_girl666 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's normal alright. Me and my sisters never got along, there used to be physical fights and now there are verbal arguments. My parents make it worse by getting involved because they are never impartial and always played favoritism for my younger siblings even if i was right with the excuse that she's the baby. Remind them that they should care for eachother, give them each INDIVIDUAL and equal love and attention, but don't force it on them it'll come naturally. Although I fight with my siblings if someone else were to fight with them i'd be kicking someone's butt in a heartbeat.
2007-02-23 23:48:10 · answer #5 · answered by Aundry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try spending time with each boy apart. Doing something they want to do. Where each of them have your attention completely. Because sometimes fighting is a cry for attention. And if everything gets to bad try a psychologist or a behavior therapist. Hope everything gets better soon.
2007-02-23 23:41:37 · answer #6 · answered by MamyLaly 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband has told me stories of him and his brothers. They would get each other into trouble, fuss, fight, and dare each other to do dangerous things( like sticking finger in light socket while other turns it on). What your boys are doing is a very mild form of this, and also completely normal. I guarantee you, they will have the strongest bond later in life. Relax.
2007-02-23 23:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by blackkat298 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is so NORMAL! They DO NOT need a Psychologist! They are at an age where everything is a competition.( MEN) Soon they will be best friends! Don't worry!
2007-02-23 23:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by DORY 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
melissa maybe all that def leppard music is agitating your kids. Thanks for your kooky maybe correct answer to my question. Best of luck.
2007-02-24 02:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by jeff f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋