Help... impending custody issue?

Question

My daughter is due within the next month. Her father and I were engaged but not married at conception. We were ok, but after he abandoned me at 5 months, he left me homeless, and jobless among other things. I don't hold it against him its not his job to support me but i would think he would want to protect his unborn child. So after a good 4 months of being elsewhere, he comes back into the picture wanting to bea good father. Ok but i didn't buy that as his sole motive. Turns out he only came back bcus his mother wants him to play nice to me, get dirt, and then use it against me in a custody battle ( i found this out through his father). My question is I don't intend to keep him out of his child's life but i also don't want him or his mother to be able to take my baby from me or runaway. I don't want to drag her through the court system either. I don't know how to avoid this, i am not unfit but i am poor and have a mood disorder. My health is well managed and i have supplemental incom

ok love life.... as a student who is already spending hours outside of the house in order to secure a better job for my child's well being. It is not wise both financially and emotionally once the child is born for me to take on another 8 hours ... i'm sorry but the benefits of that annual 18k isn't worth the year i missed on my daughter's life. I am working from home part-time and once i am done with school and can work flexible hours for an additional 20k a year, then i can pursue my second bachelors through distance learning courses but i think neglect is a bigger issue than finances.

Answer 1

mediaters only care about the best interest of the child, they dont care about your personal issues unless it changes that fact. they dont care what so ever about grandparents, they have no rights to the child at all. how you will support the child is an issue, but being wealthy is not. and almost everybody has a mood "disorder". so.

Answer 2

If it were me, the only way he would come back in my life was by coming down the aisle in a church. If he wants to be responsible, then that means the whole game, not just part of it. Being married, also means that he know comes to you and not his mother, You and he make the decisions for your child. If you have a BS, why don't you look for a job that has daycare right in the office, then you could take your child to work with you and visit her often. You go to work together and go home together. Being poor does not make you a unfit mother, if that were true then I would have had my kids taken away a lot of times. Life is tough, do what you know is right. Don't expose her to drugs, or drinking, don't have a lot of low lifes hanging around her, that just asks for trouble. Raise her right, you won't have any problems, should you not marry, she should have a relationship with her father and grandparents. You can do that, might even give you a break, but make it legal, have a agreement drawn up and stick to the legal paper, follow the rules, he just can't take her away from you for no reason, so don't give him one.

Answer 3

If you do the court stuff I believe you will regret it. He and his mother will use your disorder & income against you. I doubt asking him for child support will help, he will either go for custody and give kid to mom, or not bother paying the support. If you can live without his money, I think you could since child support is extra income and takes away from your SSI anyway, don't put his name down on the birth record. In most states, He can't force a DNA test any less you ask for child support. If you put his name down he can sue for custody. You can always say you don't who the father is out of court. It may make you look easy but it will save you alot of grief later. But only if you don't care about the support. Really think about how your life will be if you do make put him down as father, the court battles, money issues and custody agreements. And if you and your child will be better off with all that or without it in the end. Remember he abandoned you and only his mother really wants access to this child. He will probably take off again as soon as his mom gets what she wants, and leave your daughter high and dry again.
Joycee is correct don't have him sign the birth cert.

Answer 4

You have nothing to worry about. Whatever your money problems are... no judge will take your child from you if what you say about not neglecting your kid. Just keep going to school and let the father know that you know what they are trying to do and tell him you have it documented in the office of social services of the intent of him and his evil mother. Tell him it is also documented how he left you all abandon and for how long. Tell him that was to show his character. Tell him, you will be seeking child support, because you didn't make this child on your own. It doesn't matter if he's got a job or not, they will make him pay something. Keep going to school and as long as you do that, the state will help you, because you are trying to better yourself. You might not want to put to much trust in him being in your baby's life, If he choose not to be there, then it's a blessing for that child. You don't want it to grow up thinking that it's ok to be this way. Plus if you pray and believe God will send the right man your way, when you are ready and your life is in order.

Answer 5

Do not put him on the birth certificate and do not give the child his last name. Put father unknown on birth certificate and give the child your last name (he does not deserve to have someone else carry his last name) I know for a fact if you do put him as father he has every right to walk into your house and take the baby and leave, there is not a dang thing you can do about it. You can press tresspassing charges against him and try for kidnapping but they will drop that because it is his child also and that is IF they can even find him and who knows how long that will take and how long you will be without seeing your child. My suggestion is 1)no father name on birth certificate..if need be it can be added later on in life 2) no father last name, give your last name...that to can be changed later on in life if need be. 3) contact legal aid and speak to them about the pros and cons of going for full custody of your child, you are low income so should qualify for legal aid.

Answer 6

If you do not want all the drama..do not put him down as the father and do not have him sign the birth certificate..once he does...your stuck. If he really wants to be apart of the child's life..he will have to go to court, ask for a paternity test BUT...if he does that..the courts will automatically issue you child support which legally holds him financially responsible. He and his family can do nothing if his name isn't on the birth certificate

Answer 7

I would suggest preparing your self for court. It may never happen but if you emotionally prepared you will be better off. I also suggest you contact the local courthouse. In California we have what is called a Family Law Facilatator. They help people with legal issues such as custody. You can go online too in most states and get information. It may suck for awhile but you will get through it. I will be praying for the best for you and your little girl.

Answer 8

im in a similar situ ,my expartners mother wants my son and shes going thro my ex to get him,sit back and hold on sign the birth cert yourself when you get child registerd,that way he has no right etc.that was my big mistake.whether you have mood disorder or not doesnt make you a bad mum,like you say its well controlled and you in yourself will prob know when youre illness is slipping,get help asap when it does.make sure they can get any dirt on you.keep youre chin up girl,

Answer 9

Just tell him you dont want to have anything to do with him. You can say you are poor and all that, but now that you are having a baby, it is time to get off your butt and get a job. You have some one else to take care of now. You get up and get a job, then the court will for sure favor you on judgement day. But if you walk in there with nothing to show for yourself...then your screwed. Get a JOB

Answer 10

Then you need a lawyer to help you fight...sounds like your boyfriends mother wants to be 'grandma' and is pushing the issue. Push back...