Okay I have been with this man off and on for alot of years about 10. We are not married and really don't have any plans to marry any time soon. However we do have 3 kids togethor and we are togethor. We don't see anyone else. We don't live togethor. Okay my question is this we are going to california for the whole city pass thing very expensive trip. Should I pay his way since he is not working? At first I was all for it but now Im starting to hesitate we are leaving in 5 days. I think of my kids though getting to spend thier first real vacation with mom and dad. Then I think im a fool. And ya I really don't want to go with out him. What do I do? I can't think of anyone else I rather go with besides him and my children. Thanks in advance ..sherry
2007-02-23 15:16:28 · 9 answers · asked by borednomaha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
On and off for ten years? Why do you keep having children if either of you have a commitment to each other? Pay his way to California and make it a honeymoon with the kids!!!
2007-02-23 16:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is pretty much your common law spouse if you have been together that long anyway. I think the magic number in most states is seven years. But that is not the reason you should bring him. You should bring him because he is the father of your children, and your children would probably enjoy the trip more if the entire family went. I won't go on preaching at you about why you should not have had three children with a man that you are not married to, that was bad judgment on your part but it's history. The best thing to do if you intend on staying with this person would be to marry him. It is your responsibility to try to give your kids a good home with a stable family. If you have been making plans all of this time and now decide to change your mind it will be bad for your relationship, and a bad experience for your kids. Further, you will probably not enjoy the trip, and regret that you ever spent the money on it.
2007-02-23 23:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by p_doell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, tough situation! Obviously you want him to go, but you shouldn't have to pay for him. On and off & don't live together? You're not really, really together even tho you have 3 kids - how hard for you! He's not working but doesn't live with you? He must have some way to pay for himself. I hope he pays support for the kids. If you want him to go & he wants to go, you both should agree that he will pay you back. Have him sign something to that effect. Don't feel guilty - protect yourself & your 3 kids!
2007-02-23 23:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by sweet pea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would LOAN him the money. Make him sign a note saying he will pay you back and under what terms and what time frame....that way everyone can be together without you feeling guilty.
2007-02-23 23:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sherry darling... if you want him to go and he has no money they you have to pay... end of story. i've gotta tell you though, i don't know what i'd do. why isn't he working? how is he able to afford to live alone without an income? i guess bottom line if you want him you gotta pay for him.
2007-02-23 23:26:01 · answer #5 · answered by sonata 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you and this guy need to sit down and do some serious talking about the future.You both need to decide what you want to do with the rest of your lives together or move on .you are both wasting it!!!
2007-02-23 23:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by skippersbrat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You paying his way would couse nothing but resentment on your part and basically ruin your trip. If you don't want him to go, don't invite him.
2007-02-23 23:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by lyllyan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u just answer your own question honey. =)
2007-02-23 23:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
pay half and half
2007-02-23 23:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋