My boyfriend has been so stressed out these days about his job. He's been feeling very low. He had a fight with his boss as his boss refused to promote him and in his job the only way forward is to be promoted. He works till evenings and in the meantime he goes for interviews in the lunch time looking for a new job. He spends his evenings and weekends preparig himself for these interviews. He's actually going for 2 big interviews near my city in 2 weeks time so we can see each other more often. He told me yesterday that we will meet each other in 2 weeks. He told me the other day that he's getting completely crazy with his company and he cannot wait until he leaves but he still needs to pretend in front of his boss that all is ok as he cannot just leave now. He told me he needs time to focus and he warned me he may be less available for me until then but I have not been able to leave him alone. I have become needy and I told him we're loosing our relaitonship. He became upset with me.
2007-02-23 14:51:48 · 8 answers · asked by Elisa N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi, Elisa~
It sounds like he's undergoing a lot of stress right now with the difficult situation at work. He's also doing what he can to get a job closer to you so that you can see each other more, so it sounds like he's still invested in the relationship and is working to make it better. Try not to add to his stress by worrying about the lack of time you have with him at the moment - the easiest way to take your mind off of it is probably to get busy doing other things. Make plans with friends to go to movies, have them over for meals, go shopping and other things that interest you. If you don't have many friends nearby, look into joining a class at a community college. You'll be able to learn about something that is interesting to you while meeting other people who share your interest, too. Or, if you attend a church, see if there's a small group or Sunday School class or similar group (choir?) that you can join to meet more people.
If you try to hang onto him too hard, it may make him run the other way, even though he cares about you. Just relax, keep busy, and give him the time to make the job changes, then see how things go.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 14:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by ozfan98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're acting this way and he is only your boyfriend, I can just imagine how you'd react if he were your husband. Give him room to breathe lady. Also, give yourself a boost and find something to do. Sounds like you have too much time on your hands anyway. How about knitting him a sweater? Or baking 12 dozen heart-shaped cookies and taking them down to the old folks home. This should keep you out of his hair for a while. All is not lost, but if you don't stop with the bull and grow up, that man is out of there.
2007-02-23 15:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by DARMADAKO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, honey...take a step back. The man is under incredible pressure, he is doing everything he can to better his life and not just stay stuck and miserable,he is moving closer to you...and you have this neediness and fear losing him because he is not as available to you for 2 weeks? Does that make sense?
Only if you thought he was full of b.s. and was doing something wrong...could you feel okay about thinking your relationship is ending.
No man...nor woman...wants somebody who so easily feels rejected and goes into the 'all about me' syndrome. That neediness is not attractive and will surely push someone away.
You need...darlin...to back off the guy. That is called support....that is called encouragement...that is called love. If he said he couldn't see you a few months...that is different..but 2 weeks?
You are most likely sabotaging this for unknown reasons. You will lose him, if you haven't pushed him away already. I do understand that clingy kind of feeling, wanting to be with the guy, missing him etc....but you must have a life of your own and be happy in it...in order to build a healthy relationship.
I don't mean to be harsh...but honestly...stop it! He cares about you enough to tell you what is going on, to move closer...and to make a better life...maybe with you. You must learn how to 'let go' in order to have a happier life.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 15:03:15 · answer #3 · answered by kallie m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, his career definitely sounds time consuming. And he is very committed to his career and that is great.
Personally, I think that you telling him that you feel you are losing the relationship was the right move. If you are unhappy you have to communicate that with him, or nothing will be done to help fix the problem.
However, from what you said, he is very committed to his job. So you can't expect to be his number one priority, even though that totally sucks I know. But maybe you could reach a compromise with him on making more time for each other.
I hope everything works out!
Good luck!
--Vae
2007-02-23 15:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Nevaeh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's stressed. You said so yourself. So for now he's going to act differently. It's difficult being at a job you don't like. You said he's going for a job near your city, so you'll be able to see him more often. I'm sure that's what he's hoping too.
Don't put more pressure on him. Relax and let him do what he needs to do. Support him and be there for him. It may seem old fashioned and may be difficult for you to do, but you may push him away if you don't.
2007-02-23 14:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by Syxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him some time if his job is really causing him this much trouble he will need your support rather then you picking fights with him. Call him back say that you're sorry and that you can't wai to see him in 2 weeks and make sure that he knows that youre always there for him..
2007-02-23 14:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Rikku 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just need to chill and relax because he isn't going to make things right with you until he makes things right with himself.
2007-02-23 14:55:06 · answer #7 · answered by Wham 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry
2007-02-23 14:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋