Airlines okay too- US Airways, Delta, United..whatever
2007-02-23 14:40:41 · 7 answers · asked by banana 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
http://cargotracking.utopiax.org/jokes1.html
http://gosw.about.com/od/resortsandtours/a/swjokes.htm
: )
2007-02-23 14:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy To Be in April 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This plane takes off. After the seatbelt light goes out, the stewardess gets up, opens the flight deck door and wiggles a bit of string in front of the pilot. He shakes his fist at her and shouts abuse. This happens several times. After the plane lands, taxis to a halt and the engines are shut down, the pilot beats the stewardess unconscious. A passenger administers first aid. When she opens her eyes he asks her what it was all about. "His son hanged himself in police custody yesterday" she says.
This guy goes to sleep on a flight. When he wakes up, his wallet is gone. The only others on board are the tooth fairy, God, an Australian intellectual and the Dalai Lama. Who stole the wallet?
It must have been the Dalai Lama. The others are all imaginary.
A pilot radios air traffic control for a time check. The controller replies "If you're Air New Zealand it's 2 pm. If you're British Airways it's 0200 Zulu. If you're Aer Lingus the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the two. If you're Aeroflot it's November."
2007-02-23 15:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by zee_prime 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one happens on a plain so I don't know if it counts, but here goes. A blond was on a flight to Florida, she was to sit in the regular seats but she went to sit in first class. All the flight attendants and some of the passengers tried relentlessly to get her in her correct seat, but they all failed. As a last resort they called the pilot. When he came he whispered in her ear and to there surprise, SHE QUICKLY GOT UP!! They were curious to know what the pilot told her, so they asked him "What did you say to her?" He answered "You see, I'm married to a blond so I know how to deal with them. I just told her that this part of the plain is not going to Florida."
2007-02-23 15:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by jaybas_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The captain announced that we are now airborne and the flight is going smoothly. He forgot to shut off the speaker as he said to the copilot ' ok, I'm going to take s**t and then I'm going to screw that new cabin attendant.The cabin attendant rushed down the aisle to tell the captain that the speaker was still on but an old lady grabbed her and said 'don't rush deary, he said he was going to take a s**t first'.
2007-02-23 15:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by Buck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see you later because the textile used isn't a blend of threads. that ought to deserve a stoning. ...Wait a second, what's this blasphemy?!?!? women human beings operating? they must be at residing house making foodstuff interior the goddamned kitchen and popping out toddlers to save the human race. Screw skirts and airways, we ought to continually ban women human beings from donning slacks and dealing. Duh. it really is so glaring. The Bible says so!
2016-12-04 21:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here ya go! This web site had a lot of airline jokes!
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Plains/6271/airlinejok.html
Have fun!
-Torey
2007-02-23 14:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by Torey L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A plane with Micheal Jackson and President Bush is about to crash. Bush's body guards warn him and ask him what to do.
Bush says, "We have no time! the adults should just jump ourselves because we are the most important!"
Michael - "But what about the children!!!"
Bush-"Screw the children!"
Michael - "I don't think we have enough time!"
2007-02-23 14:46:52 · answer #7 · answered by blank 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋